How to Introverted Extrovert

Plus simple steps to thrive as an introverted extrovert

Do you get all hyped up to go to a party only to find yourself suddenly fading after an hour or two? Do your friends constantly comment on how extroverted you are, but you know deep down that you’re a homebody at heart? If so, you may be an introverted extrovert! Read below to find out more about this personality type that blends the introvert vs. extrovert dichotomy into the best of both worlds. Plus, we interviewed life coaches Tara Bradford and Lauren Krasny for their insight on how to thrive as an introverted extrovert.

[Edit]Introverted Extrovert Meaning

Introverted extroverts are people who enjoy socializing but need alone time to rest and recharge. The introverted extrovert, also called the “outgoing introvert,” is a type of ambivert—meaning that they blend traits of extroverted and introverted personality types.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]What is an introverted extrovert?

1. An introverted extrovert socializes but needs solo time to recharge. Also referred to as “outgoing introverts,” introverted extroverts love being around other people but find frequent socialization draining. They need quiet, alone time to regain energy and recharge their social batteries.^[1]
   
   • An introverted extrovert is an extrovert at heart with some introverted tendencies.
   • Introverts and extroverts are on opposite sides of the personality scale; however, most people fall somewhere in the middle.^[2]
   • True extroverts gain energy from social activities. They’re generally optimistic, quick to respond to communication, feel comfortable expressing their opinions and emotions, and prefer to work in groups rather than individually.^[3]
   • True introverts, on the other hand, gain energy from their alone time. They’re often shy, creative, and thoughtful and prefer small social gatherings or deep conversations rather than parties or small talk.

[Edit]10 Signs You’re an Introverted Extrovert

1. You have an equal need for alone time and social outings. Although you may feel really outgoing and like the life of the party in social situations, you also crave being alone and having time to recharge.^[4]
   
   • While having a full calendar of social commitments may seem fun, it can exhaust you if you do too much.
   • Spending time at home and having a personal space that feels like yours is a high priority for you.
2. You gain energy only from certain people. While a true extrovert recharges from socialization with almost anyone, you may only get that energy burst from your nearest and dearest. You may maintain a large social circle of friends, but you likely have a small group of close loved ones that you truly feel energized by.^[5]
   
3. Your energy level depends on the topic of the conversation. You’re likely to be very high-energy and enthusiastic when discussing topics you’re passionate about, but your energy wanes when it comes to subjects you’re less interested in. Similarly, you may tap into your energy more or less depending on who’s involved in the conversation (i.e., whether they’re a person who gives you energy or not).^[6]
   
4. You need time to warm up to a new social environment. You won’t be bringing the energy the second you walk through the doors. You need a moment to adjust to your new surroundings before you can really turn the energy up. Similarly, you prefer to mentally prepare and recharge before engaging in social activities.^[7]
   
5. You enjoy being at the party but not being the center of attention. You like receiving praise and attention from others, but you don’t want to be the star of the show. This trait may also apply to professional situations, where you often take the lead but don’t like to receive any fanfare for it.^[8]
   
6. You host and then ghost. Basically, you enjoy seeing people but may go off the grid for a bit afterward. For example, you might host a massive dinner party for a big group of your friends and then disengage from social plans for the following week while you recharge and recover.^[9]
   
7. You enjoy having deep conversations in person but not over text. You may avoid picking up the phone when friends call out of the blue or take your sweet time responding to texts you don’t have immediate energy for. When you do respond to texts and emails, your reply may be lacking the same enthusiasm you would give in person.
   
8. You love helping others but struggle to accept help yourself. You show a great deal of care and generosity to your loved ones but have difficulty receiving the same level of attention. The people close to you may perceive you as someone who rejects help or struggles to open up.
   
9. You’re more vulnerable than you may appear. Like an introvert, you have a rich inner world and are constantly processing the environment around you. You keep your cards close to the chest and conceal some personal details so most people don't observe the depth of your vulnerability and sensitivity. While some people may see that side of you, others may have very different perceptions.^[10]
   
10. You’re often mistaken for an extrovert. Your social, extroverted side may seem more obvious to others than your quiet, reflective side. Some people may describe you as super flirtatious or outgoing, even if you don’t intend to come across that way. And, internally, you probably feel much more like an introvert than an extrovert.^[11]
    

[Edit]Benefits and Challenges for Introverted Extroverts

1. You benefit from both the outgoing and reserved sides of your personality. As an introverted extrovert, you may rely on your extroverted self to exude confidence and enthusiasm. At the same time, your introverted qualities make you deeply thoughtful and considerate.^[12]
   
   • As a result, you can easily adapt and be prepared for whatever your present situation calls for.
   • For example, you’re able to be spontaneous and adventurous and bring energy to a social situation when the moment calls for it.
   • In more serious moments, however, you have no problem tapping into your introverted side, slowing down, and reflecting on your feelings or the feelings of others.
2. You easily understand the emotional and energetic needs of others. Since you experience aspects of extroversion and introversion, you relate to people on both sides of the dichotomy. You can socialize with your extroverted friends and understand their desire to go out and meet new people. However, you also empathize with your introverted friends who value alone time and need space to recharge.
   
3. Other people may struggle to understand your personality traits and needs. You may be running around excitedly at a social event when, all of a sudden, you hit a wall and withdraw. This sudden change in energy and demeanor may make you seem moody to others. Certain people may also misunderstand you because they can’t get a clear read on your personality.^[13]
   
   • You may even struggle to understand your feelings if you aren’t aware that you’re an introverted extrovert.
   • You may feel confused when you suddenly feel shut down in a social setting or wonder why you feel drained around certain people.

[Edit]How to Thrive as an Introverted Extrovert

1. Know your limits in social situations. Take note of when you start feeling drained and in which environments you’re typically in when feeling this way. When you start to feel this introversion creep in, take a step back and excuse yourself from the gathering or party. Avoid forcing yourself to be social and energetic when you’re not feeling it.
   
   • Life and mindset coach Tara Bradford recommends considering questions like, “Why is this draining? Is it because you're spending a long time? Is it because you're getting defensive? Is it because you're mad at yourself for not speaking up in the meeting because someone else took over the conversation?”^[14]
   • In the future, understanding when and why you lose steam in social settings may mean you can exit while you’re still riding an extroverted high rather than leaving feeling moody and drained.
   • Maybe you always cap out at 5 hours, or you get quickly drained in a club versus a house party setting.
2. Identify which people drain you more than others. As Bradford describes it, “Not everybody’s going to drain you, and not all numbers of people” will either.^[15] “Maybe one-on-one conversations are okay, and you feel energized after that,” continues Bradford, “but speaking in front of five or more people feels draining.”^[16]
   
   • Bradford goes on to assure that “you can have those relationships with a fewer number of people, but you have to see what works for you and really pay attention to your energy levels before and after talking to different types of people.”^[17]
   • Deciding that a certain friend or group of friends especially drains you doesn’t have to mean anything bad about your relationship.
   • In fact, realizing that you're better off seeing those people in shorter bursts of time may actually improve the strength of your relationship in the long run.
3. Communicate your needs and boundaries to loved ones. Set boundaries about how much time you can spend with others. Don’t be afraid to say no to taxing social engagements. Tell your closest pals when you need alone time to recharge and remind them that it has nothing to do with them personally.^[18]
   
   • You just need some time to yourself in order to be your best self for them later!
4. Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. While you may make friends easily and genuinely enjoy having a wide circle of friends, you likely gain more from meaningful relationships. Prioritize spending your time on deeper, more intimate friendships rather than trying to be a friend to all.^[19]
   
5. Find pride in the more introverted side of your personality. Since famed psychologist Carl Jung introduced the idea of extroverted and introverted personalities in the early 1900s, many people have been socialized to believe that being an extrovert makes you inherently more likable and dynamic.^[20]
   
   • However, having introverted qualities has nothing to do with your social capacity—it simply means that you require time to rest and recharge away from others.
6. Be flexible and patient with yourself. You and your personality traits may change over time, as they will for practically anybody. Resist the urge to compare yourself to past versions of you, e.g., “I was so much more social when I was younger.” Change is a normal part of growth, and the strengthening of your introverted traits may be more authentic for your current self!^[21]
   
7. Explore careers that utilize your extroverted and introverted traits. Since you experience both sides of the extroversion vs. introversion scale, you’re likely able to empathize and connect with more people. You may thrive and easily advance in careers like sales and teaching that require a natural skill for talking with and listening to others.^[22]
   
   • In any field, make sure you play to your special strengths as someone with both introverted and extroverted qualities.
   • For example, suppose you are a really strong leader in the workplace but struggle to give presentations in front of large groups. Consider what may help you in this situation, recommends career coach Lauren Krasny.^[23]
   • “If [you’re] not a dynamic speaker,” offers Krasny, “would it help to plan out a presentation, create a really detailed agenda or other types of preparation that would enable [you] to demonstrate leadership, even if [you’re] uncomfortable with some of the conventional methods associated with being a strong leader.”^[24]

[Edit]Introverted Extrovert vs. Extroverted Introvert

1. Extroverted introverts are mostly introverted, unlike introverted extroverts. Extroverted introverts are introverts at their core, so they mainly prefer solo time but occasionally crave social interaction (which makes them somewhat extroverted). Conversely, introverted extroverts are fundamentally social but occasionally need to recharge by themselves (making them somewhat introverted).^[25]
   
   • Essentially, both personality types resonate more with introversion or extroversion on a daily basis. However, they sometimes exhibit traits and needs that typically belong to the other group.
   • If someone prefers to be alone most of the time despite coming across as socially confident and charismatic, they are probably an extroverted introvert rather than an introverted extrovert.
   • Other signs of extroverted introverts include a distaste for small talk and experiencing feelings of loneliness after they’ve spent a significant amount of time recharging on their own.

[Edit]Introverted Extroverts vs. Ambiverts & Omniverts

1. Introverted extroverts are a type of ambivert. Ambiverts are people with both introverted extroverted traits, which can include both introverted extroverts and extroverted introverts. Someone may identify as one or the other depending on whether they’re more extroverted or introverted at their core. Ambiverts often have a higher sense of self-awareness and possess other traits such as:^[26]
   
   • Being neither overly reserved nor overly outgoing.
   • Adaptability when situations or plans change.
   • A capacity to work alone just as well as they work in groups.
   • Equal appreciation of social engagements and alone time.
   • Being thoughtful in weighing out options but able to decide quickly when the moment calls for it.
2. Omniverts switch between being either total introverts or total extroverts. People with omnivert personalities oscillate between extreme levels of introversion and extroversion based on their mood and environment. This differs from introverted extroverts, who balance their extroverted core with introverted traits rather than swinging from one side of the spectrum to the other.^[27]
   
   • Unlike introverted extroverts and other ambiverts, omniverts often struggle to manage the two sides of their personality.

[Edit]MBTI Personality Type for Introverted Extroverts

1. Introverted extroverts are most similar to the ENFJ Myers-Brigg type. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) determines personality type based on four indicators, the most major of which is extroversion (E) vs. introversion (I). The ENFJ (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging) is similar to the introverted extrovert because they are both energized by socialization.^[28]
   
   • ENFJs also value ideas and concepts over hard logic and factual information. They tend to make decisions based on gut feeling rather than well-laid plans.
   • Similar to the introverted extrovert, ENFJs balance their energy, empathy, and introspection to make an extroverted personality that still lets the introvert shine through.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Even true extroverts can be shy, have social anxiety, or even have weak interpersonal skills. Keep in mind that while we often use introversion and shyness interchangeably, any personality type can possess any trait.
• Extroverts can’t just wake up one day and become more introverted, and the same is true for the reverse. Personality traits like introversion and extroversion, or falling somewhere along the spectrum, are believed to be an innate part of who we are—and may even be linked to our DNA.^[29]
• It’s not very rare to be an introverted extrovert. In fact, nearly 70% of people don’t identify strongly with extroversion or introversion. Most people consider themselves ambiverts, or a blend of the two sides of the spectrum.^[30]
• If you’re unsure about your personality type, start by taking this Introvert or Extrovert Quiz.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.personalitopia.com/introverted-extrovert-extroverted-introvert/
2. ↑ https://icd.umn.edu/news/introvert-extrovert-or-other
3. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/introvert-vs-extrovert
4. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
5. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
6. ↑ https://www.goalcast.com/introverted-extrovert/
7. ↑ https://www.lifesorted.com/7-signs-youre-an-introverted-extrovert/
8. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
9. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ambivert/
10. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
11. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
12. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
13. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
14. ↑ [v161551_b01].Wednesday, September 16, 2020
15. ↑ [v161551_b01].Wednesday, September 16, 2020
16. ↑ [v161551_b01].Wednesday, September 16, 2020
17. ↑ [v161551_b01].Wednesday, September 16, 2020
18. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
19. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ambivert/
20. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20130717-what-makes-someone-an-extrovert
21. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
22. ↑ https://faculty.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Grant_PsychScience2013.pdf
23. ↑ [v161315_b01]. 27 March 2020.
24. ↑ [v161315_b01]. 27 March 2020.
25. ↑ https://www.personalitopia.com/introverted-extrovert-extroverted-introvert/
26. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ambivert/
27. ↑ https://www.truity.com/blog/whats-difference-between-ambivert-and-omnivert
28. ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality
29. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27918536/
30. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797612463706