Little changes that’ll lead to a more humble life
Humility is one of those things that you can never really have enough of. It can certainly be difficult to remain humble when you’re surrounded by people boasting and competing to be the best, but humility is a very unique virtue that can lead to better relationships and a more grounded worldview. We’ll walk you through what it means to be humble, and we’ll provide lots of examples of what true humility looks like.
[Edit]Things You Should Know
- Motivate yourself to become the best version of yourself by finding things that you can improve and reminding yourself that it’s okay if you’re not perfect.
- Reflect on any mistakes you may have made and use them as learning experiences to help you grow.
- Listen with interest to what others have to say and make an effort to hear a wide variety of opinions and worldviews.
[Edit]Steps
[Edit]Accepting Your Limitations
- Admit that you're not the best at everything—or anything. A very humbling thought to have is that, no matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do better. But rather than feeling discouraged, look to those who are better and think about how you can improve yourself. Technically, nobody is the best at anything, and everyone always has something they can improve on.[1]
- Even when you become the best at one thing, there’s always something new to learn and try out.
- Recognizing your limitations doesn’t mean abandoning your dreams or giving up on learning new things. It simply means acknowledging that, as human beings, none of us are perfect and none of us can do everything by ourselves.
- Recognize your own faults. Oftentimes, we judge others because it's a lot easier than honestly evaluating ourselves and embracing our flaws. Unfortunately, judging others comes with consequences. It causes tension to form in relationships, and it can prevent new relationships from forming altogether. Instead of immediately judging others, focus on yourself and what improvements you can make.[2]
- As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person and think deeply to try and recognize your implicit biases.
- When you find yourself judging another person, ask yourself, “Do I do that as well?” and “Why does this bother me so much?”
- Once you’ve identified your flaws, work to correct them. For example, if you discover that you’re quick to form grudges, work on finding ways to forgive others in a healthy way.
- Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Part of being humble is understanding that you will inevitably make mistakes. It’s human nature. Learning to accept this fact will help ease a lot of your stress and anxiety about appearing perfect in front of others. Always do your best, but remind yourself every now and then that it’s okay to stumble along the way as you work to reach your goals.[3]
- For example, if you’re starting a new job, don’t stress yourself out about doing everything perfectly. Your boss and coworkers expect you to make a few mistakes at the beginning as you get used to the job.
- Allowing yourself to make mistakes isn’t the same thing as purposefully being sloppy and careless. Your actions do still have consequences, but as long as you can show that you’re trying your best, your mistakes will often be forgiven.
- Take responsibility for your mistakes. Although you may fear that others will be angry and frustrated with you, it’s always better to admit your mistakes than lie and try to cover them up. Owning up to your mistakes and imperfections makes you look more humble in others’ eyes, and it speaks to your flexibility and unselfishness.[4]
- Just admitting your mistake by saying “I was wrong” is an incredibly humble gesture.
- If your actions had a negative effect on others, sincerely listen to what they have to say and avoid getting defensive.
- Admitting your mistakes will make people respect you more, whether they are your own children or your coworkers. After that, work together to find a solution to remedy the situation.
- Apologize for your mistakes or wrongdoings. If you've made a mistake, then confess and admit that you're wrong. Even though saying you're sorry to someone else might be difficult, sometimes it’s important to put your pride aside for the sake of mending your relationship. A sincere and heartfelt apology is a huge sign of humility.[5]
- Make eye contact when you apologize to show that you really care.
- Don't be a repeat offender. After you’ve apologized, make an effort to fix your behavior so that the same mistake doesn’t occur again.
- Be open to receiving feedback. Nobody is perfect, but we can certainly learn from each other to strengthen our best abilities and gain new ones. Find people you aspire to be like in certain areas and ask them to mentor you. When you make a mistake, accept feedback with grace and make an effort to apply that feedback to your next attempt.[6]
- If you’re starting a new hobby, such as art, music, or exercising, listen to your teacher and pay attention to their critiques. They’re not trying to put you down, but are just trying to make sure you keep improving until you’re at your best.
- Muster up the courage to admit that someone else might be right. It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong. It can be even more difficult to admit that someone else simply knows more than you and has the right answer—especially if you’re not too fond of that person. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, a law you don't agree with, or even your child's opinion takes a lot of courage, but it shows that you are a very humble person.[7]
- Instead of immediately jumping to your own defense and saying the other person is wrong, attempt to work through their thinking process and logic. This will help you better understand where they’re coming from.
- For example, if you and a friend are arguing about voting for a certain political candidate, ask your friend to explain why they voted the way they did. Listen with an open mind and try to make sense of their logic.
- Don’t brag or boast about your achievements. It's okay to have healthy self-esteem and to feel proud of your accomplishments, but it can be a bit off-putting when someone constantly tries to bring attention to themselves and their achievements. If you feel like you really have done something great, chances are people will have already begun to notice that, and they will come to respect you even more for your humility.[8]
- If someone asks if you ran a marathon, it's perfectly acceptable to say “Yes, I did” and accept their recognition. But after that, do your best to stay humble and not boast about it.
- Give credit to others where it’s due. It’s likely that a lot of what you’ve achieved is thanks to the many people in your life and the opportunities their relationships have given you. It's great to be proud of your achievements, but keep in mind that nobody ever does anything totally by themselves. As human beings, we are all helping each other to accomplish our goals.[9]
- Take time to thank those who have helped you get to where you are today. Your parents, siblings, friends, and teachers—it’s partially thanks to them that you’ve become the person you are today.
[Edit]Appreciating Others & What You Have
- Accept other people’s differences and cherish what makes them unique. Being humble is all about having an open mind and accepting others’ differences. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to interact with people from all types of backgrounds.[10]
- Make an effort to talk to lots of different people and make more friends, whether it’s at work, school, or just outside in your community. Surround yourself with lots of people to learn about their individual experiences.
- Being able to appreciate the talents and qualities of others can also help you recognize qualities that you want to improve or obtain yourself.[11]
- Be considerate of other people’s situations during conversations. A humble person is mindful of everyone’s unique situations during a conversation and doesn’t talk down to or disrupt anyone. Do your best to empathize with others’ stories and listen instead of interjecting your own opinion every couple minutes.[12]
- For example, you and your friend may not agree on what is considered to be a “fulfilling” job, but this doesn’t mean that you should look down on the work they do.
- Instead, talk to them openly about their job and ask questions to help yourself understand why they enjoy the work they do.
- Be kind even when facing conflict. Even though the urge to lash out when someone gets angry with you can be strong, resist that urge, and do your best to respond calmly. Work to figure out why the other person is upset and if there’s anything you can do about it. Think about what you want to say before you say it, and remain level-headed to bring the situation back down.[13]
- Seek guidance from written texts and teachings. Consider this to be a way of studying how to be humble. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility, such as the works of the Greek philosopher Socrates.[14] Read inspiring biographies, memoirs, religious texts, nonfiction, and fiction about how to improve your life. Reading is just one way to help you gain a better understanding of he world and the many different people that inhabit it.
- Find ways to help others in your community. A big part of being humble is respecting others and being willing to help them even if you’re not personally gaining anything from it. Helping people in need will also make you appreciate what you have even more. Volunteer in your community, help your elderly neighbors with their errands, or donate to a cause that’s personal to you. The most important thing is that you act out of sincerity.[15]
- Don’t boast about the volunteering you've done. It's great if you're proud of your work but remember that volunteering is not about you; it’s about the people you’ve helped.
- Allow others to go in front of you in line. If you're always rushing to get things done first and get to the front of the line, challenge yourself to allow others to go before you. Elderly people, people with disabilities, children, and people in a hurry might benefit from being able to go before you at places like the grocery store or post office. If you’re not in a rush, show a stranger some kindness by letting them cut in front of you.
- Compliment others and point out what makes them so great. Tell your partner that they look great today; compliment your co-worker's new hairdo, or tell the cashier at the grocery store that you like their earrings. A humble person isn’t afraid to point out and appreciate the great things about other people.
- For a deeper compliment, tell someone how much you appreciate their loyalty as a friend, their honesty, or their own sense of humility.
- If someone compliments you, thank them and acknowledge the compliment. After that, be sure to return the compliment.[16]
- Listen more, talk less. When you listen to someone, you’re showing them that you appreciate them and value what they have to say. People see it as very humble when you make an effort to hear what everyone has to say. Though you can certainly contribute to the conversation, make sure that everyone is getting an equal opportunity to talk.[17]
- Ask questions to show that you understand what the person is talking about. Don't just wait for the person to stop talking so that you can start talking.
- Make eye contact, turn your body towards the person who’s talking, and show interested facial expressions to let them know that you’re paying attention.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. While competition can be healthy and stimulating, it's nearly impossible to be humble when you’re constantly trying to be better than others. In order to stop comparing yourself to others, remind yourself that the ultimate goal isn’t to be better than anyone else but to be better than the person you used to be.[18] Don’t worry about how everyone else is doing. Just focus on yourself and what you need to do to be the best version of yourself.
- Take a break from social media every once in a while. Seeing only the best parts of other people’s lives can possibly stir up some feelings of insecurity, so log off of Twitter and Instagram for a while and just focus on yourself.
- Be grateful for what you have. In other words, count your blessings and remind yourself of all the good things in your life. A humble person appreciates what they have and can find the value in even the smallest things. Take time each day to list out the things you’re thankful for.[19]
- Some things to be thankful for might include your friends, family, having a roof over your head, food to eat, clean water to drink, a source of income (even if it isn’t your dream job), and a good education.
[Edit]Rediscovering a Sense of Wonder
- Be curious about the world and the people around you. People who are humble continue to be curious about the world and view even the simplest things with a sense of wonder. When you constantly ask yourself “How does this work?” and “Where did this come from?” you remind yourself that there’s always more to learn and experience. Part of being humble is admitting that you don’t know everything and finding enjoyment in discovering new things.[20]
- Don’t let other people’s judgment stop you from exploring your curiosities. Even though other people might find it strange that you’re so fixated on something, don’t let them stop you from finding answers and gaining more knowledge.
- Spend more time in nature. Go take a walk in the park, take a hike, or just sit outside in your backyard and soak up the sun. Find your own way of being in nature and take the time to truly appreciate all that it entails. A truly humble person sees the endless value that nature possesses. It’s a very humbling experience when you realize just how small you are in this great big world.
- Practice yoga and meditation to keep yourself grounded. Doing yoga and practicing mindful meditation helps you get rid of trivial thoughts and ground yourself in the present moment. Instead of fixating on getting ahead and being the best, meditating or doing yoga remind you to slow down and just appreciate what you have.[21]
- These types of exercises are also great for relieving stress, strengthening patience and tolerance, and increasing self-awareness.
- Yoga is all about being humble. After all, there’s really no need to brag about how you've hit a new pose in yoga. It's all about doing everything at your own pace.
- Spend time around children. Children possess a sense of wonder about the world that’s difficult to replicate as an adult. Spend more time around kids and see how they appreciate the world, constantly question it, and get pleasure and joy out of the smallest things. Opening yourself up to learn a thing or two from children is a great sign of humility.[22]
[Edit]Ways to Sound Humble
[Edit]Video
[Edit]Reader Videos
[Edit]Tips
- Appreciate the talents and possessions you have instead of constantly wanting more.
- Ask questions when you don't know, when you know a little, and when you think you know it all.
- Having a healthy self-esteem isn’t the same as being prideful. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride that leans toward arrogance is often rooted in insecurity about yourself.[23]
[Edit]Related wikiHows
[Edit]References
[Edit]Quick Summary
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainsnacks/201501/the-paradoxical-power-humility
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326423192_Humility_and_Emotional_Intelligence
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201409/should-we-be-humble
- ↑ https://hbr.org/tip/2019/02/when-you-make-a-mistake-be-quick-to-admit-it
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201406/4-ways-make-better-apology
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2014/05/the-best-leaders-are-humble-leaders
- ↑ https://wisdomcenter.uchicago.edu/news/wisdom-news/how-do-you-know-if-youre-actually-humble
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326423192_Humility_and_Emotional_Intelligence
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2001/01/level-5-leadership-the-triumph-of-humility-and-fierce-resolve-2
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326423192_Humility_and_Emotional_Intelligence
- ↑ [v161856_b01]. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326423192_Humility_and_Emotional_Intelligence
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-humility-strengthens-your-relationship
- ↑ https://philosophynow.org/issues/53/Socratic_Humility
- ↑ https://www.fau.edu/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/humble/index.php
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-receive-a-compliment-2011-3
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326423192_Humility_and_Emotional_Intelligence
- ↑ [v161856_b01]. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ [v161856_b01]. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ https://www.intellectualhumility.org/becoming-humble
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
- ↑ https://www.griffith.edu.au/engage/professional-learning/content-centre/lessons-for-work-things-we-can-learn-from-kids-and-science
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainsnacks/201501/the-paradoxical-power-humility
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