How to Get to Know Yourself

The question “Who am I?” can bring on a series of thoughts, emotions, and feelings, but what if you don’t know how to answer? Getting to know yourself is a life-long journey.^[1] Feeling lost or confused about who you are is more common than you may think, and we’re here to help you find all the answers you’re looking for. In this article, we’ll take you through different ways of getting to know yourself. By practicing self-awareness, exploring your personality, and fulfilling your needs, you can discover who you truly are and build a lasting relationship with yourself. So, what are you waiting for? We have an identity to find!

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Question your thoughts, goals, and self-image to uncover how you view yourself.
• Determine your personality type through questionnaires to find your sense of self.
• Set boundaries for yourself to fulfill your wants, needs, relationships, and goals.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Practicing Self-Awareness

1. Be honest with yourself to learn about all aspects of your personality. Knowing yourself means recognizing different parts of your identity, personality, and being. The goal is not to criticize yourself but to acknowledge all sides of your personality. Open up to the possibility of learning new things about yourself.^[2]
   
   • Pay attention to the things that make you feel uncomfortable. These emotional signals can tell you if you’re trying to avoid something. Are you insecure about that characteristic? If so, how can you overcome it?
   • For example, if you don't like to look in the mirror, ask yourself why. Are you insecure about your looks? Are you worried about your age? This could be a fear you can conquer.
2. Ask thoughtful questions about yourself and answer honestly. Pondering difficult personal questions and analyzing your answer can help you learn more about your interests, fears, and aspirations. Use what you learn from this activity to spend more time doing what you love and overcoming your fears. See how you respond to these questions:^[3]
   
   • What do I love doing?
   • What are my dreams?
   • What do I want my legacy to be?
   • What is my biggest criticism of myself?
   • What are some mistakes I’ve made?
   • How do others perceive me? How would I like them to perceive me?
   • Who is my role model?
3. Pay attention to your inner voice to understand your perceptions. Your inner voice expresses your feelings and beliefs, defining how you see yourself. When something frustrates or delights you, it responds. Try to tune into that voice. What’s it saying? How does it perceive the world around you?^[4]
   
   • Go to the mirror and describe yourself out loud or in your head. Are the descriptions positive or negative? Are they focused on your looks or your actions?
   • When you start thinking negatively, stop yourself and question why you’re reacting that way.
4. Write in a journal every day to process your thoughts and experiences. Journaling helps you recognize your motivations, emotions, and beliefs so that you can make thoughtful adjustments in your life. For a few minutes every day, write down what you did, felt, and thought throughout the day. If you had a negative experience, write down why it affected you. If you made a mistake, identify what you could do better.^[5]
   
   • Look for patterns in your writing. Over time, you may find yourself repeating specific needs and wants.
   • Write whatever is on your mind. Freewriting can help you unlock subconscious thoughts to help identify what’s bothering you.
   • Alternatively, you can use prompts to guide your writing. Choose prompts that ask you to describe certain parts of your personality or habits.
5. Incorporate mindfulness into your day to live in the present moment. Mindfulness is the act of experiencing the present moment to help you understand your thoughts, actions, and motives. Most importantly, it's a state of attention to yourself and the world you’re experiencing. Practicing mindfulness can help you push aside distractions and check in with yourself even in the most hectic of times. Meditating and practicing yoga are both mindful activities, but being mindful can be incorporated into other parts of your daily routine. Check out these ways you can be more mindful:^[6]
   
   • Pause and observe the world around you. What can you touch, taste, hear, see, and smell?
   • Avoid eating meals at your computer or TV and focus on how the food tastes and feels in your mouth.
   • Take a walk and notice how the ground feels beneath your feet, where the sun is in the sky, and if birds are chirping.
6. Question your body image to discover how you view yourself. Write a list of adjectives about the way you look. Are these negative or positive attributes? Can you rewrite the negative remarks in a more positive way? Confidence in your body can transfer to confidence in other parts of your life, so try to reframe hateful words into something loving.^[7]
   
   • If you have the thought, “My thighs are too big,” reframe it with, “My legs are strong and carry me where I want to go.”^[8]
   • If you think, “I weigh too much,” change the thought to, “Weight is just a number, and I am more than a number.”

[Edit]Exploring Your Personality

1. Think about the roles you play in your life to better understand your priorities. Everybody plays multiple roles in their life based on their relationships, work responsibilities, and social interactions. Sit down and make a list of your roles, then circle which ones mean the most to you. This can help you set priorities and help you recognize who you are. Some examples of roles include:^[9]
   
   • Parent
   • Friend
   • Team leader
   • Emotional support
   • Mentor/Mentee
   • Confidante
   • Creator
   • Problem solver
2. Analyze the 6 elements of your personality to discover a sense of self. The 6 key elements to self-knowledge are values, interests, temperament, activities, life goals, and strengths—also known as the acronym VITALS. Answer the questions below that correspond with each element. Then, take a close look at your answers. What do they say about you?^[10]
   
   • Values: What is important to you? What characteristics do you prize in yourself and others?
   • Interests: What are you curious about? What do you like to do in your free time?
   • Temperament: What 10 words describe you best? How do you handle difficult situations or confrontations?
   • Activities: What are the most and least enjoyable parts of your day? Do you have any daily rituals?
   • Life goals: What have been the most important events of your life? Where do you see yourself in five years?
   • Strengths: What are your abilities, skills, and talents? What are you really good at?
3. Take an online personality test to categorize your personality. While personality tests are not necessarily scientific, they do ask questions that make you consider other aspects of your character.^[11] There are many reputable tests that you can take online, including:
   
   • NERIS Type Explorer
   • Meyers-Brigg Type Indicator
   • Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI)
   • Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment
   • Big 5 Personality Assessment
4. Invite commentary from others to better understand yourself. While you shouldn’t define yourself by what other people think or say, asking others for their opinion can help you understand things about yourself you may not have realized before. Start by asking loved ones how they would define your personality or characteristics. This can open up meaningful discussion and help you see yourself from someone else’s perspective.^[12]
   
   • If you’re comfortable, ask your boss, mentor, or acquaintances about how they see you as an employee.
   • If you disagree with anyone’s observations, that’s okay! Take every comment with a grain of salt, and acknowledge that you’re ever-evolving.

[Edit]Fulfilling Your Needs

1. Practice self-care to manage stress. It can be hard to find time to reflect on yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is essential to being the best version of you, so don’t forget to schedule time to do something for yourself. This can help you feel more at peace with life and yourself..^[13]
   
   • Try to exercise for at least 20 minutes every day. Go for a walk after lunch or do a quick yoga flow before breakfast.
   • Aim to get at least 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night to wake up refreshed.
   • Eat a healthy diet made up of unprocessed fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
   • Find time to relax and unwind. Try meditating, knitting, working on a puzzle, or reading a book.
2. Create a good work-life balance to avoid burnout. Rather than taking work with you on the way home, leave it at the office door. Your worth doesn’t have to be defined by your job, and neither does your life. Take some time each day to focus on other goals, hobbies, and interests outside of work.^[14]
   
   • Set boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers to ensure you maintain a healthy space at home and in the office.
3. Establish boundaries in your relationships to understand your limits. Ask yourself what types of situations make you feel uncomfortable. For example, do you dislike crowds? Are there certain jokes that unsettle you? Identifying painful triggers can help you cultivate an environment you’re happy and safe in.^[15]
   
   • Consider if there’s anyone in your life who asks too much of you or makes you do things you don't want to. How far are you willing to go to please them?
   • Be firm when setting boundaries, and don’t ever apologize for saying “no” to interactions or situations that may make you feel off—you know what’s best for you!
4. Set goals to give yourself something to achieve. Think about where you want to see yourself in 5 days, months, or years. What goals can you make to turn that vision into your reality? These goals don’t have to be big; they can be as simple as making the bed every morning. Write down your goals and refer to them whenever you feel lost, remembering to take each day one step at a time.^[16]
   
   • For instance, maybe you want to write a book. Start a goal to write 500 words a day.
   • Perhaps you want to make the largest cake for your nephew’s birthday. Set a goal to practice a new decorating skill every weekend.
   • Your goals may change over time, and that’s perfectly okay! People change and grow with time, so don’t be afraid to alter your visions and follow new dreams.

[Edit]Tips

• Make sure you’re open to testing out different methods, and throwing out the ones that don’t serve you. Get experimental on your self-discovery journey and know that there’s no failures, only different paths of discovery.^[17]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

__

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161270_b01]. 12 February 2020.
2. ↑ https://medium.com/radical-culture/the-impact-of-self-honesty-on-your-success-eb24d057ce43
3. ↑ https://www.usa.edu/blog/self-discovery-questions/
4. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-become-self-aware
5. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
6. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
7. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/body-image.html#
8. ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/online-bachelors-programs/bs-in-psychology/resource/how-positive-self-talk-can-make-you-feel-better-and-be-more-productive
9. ↑ https://www.open.edu/openlearn/mod/oucontent/view.php?id=20017&printable=1
10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201603/looking-your-true-self-10-strategies-self-knowledge
11. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/02/5-ways-to-become-more-self-aware
12. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/02/5-ways-to-become-more-self-aware
13. ↑ https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers/Taking-Care-of-Yourself
14. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/04/stop-trying-to-find-your-true-self-at-work
15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201511/7-tips-create-healthy-boundaries-others
16. ↑ https://www.depressioncenter.org/toolkit/i-want-stay-mentally-healthy/goal-setting
17. ↑ [v161270_b01]. 12 February 2020.

How to Get Suction Cups to Stick

Do you want to put up decor or hang an organizer with a suction cup, but you're worried about it falling down? Whether you're trying to make a suction cup stick in the shower, on windows, or in your car, it's actually pretty easy to make them stay put on the right surface. If you want to learn all the best ways to prep the surface and suction cup for an airtight seal, keep reading!

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Choose a smooth, flat surface to apply your suction cup.

1. Suction cups form an airtight seal on an even surface. Flat surfaces of glass, acrylic, Formica, and stainless steel are all great places to make suction cups stick better. You can even make suction cups stick to plastic as long as it’s a hard surface. The suction cup is more likely to fall if the surface has any slight curves or textures since it could let air into the suction cup and break the seal.^[1]
   
   • If you’re trying to get suction cups to stick in the shower, try putting them on the glass door, a large tile, or on a smooth part of the acrylic wall.
   • For suction-cup phone mounts, avoid putting them on textured dashboards. Try mounting it from your windshield or on your radio display.
   • Suction cups do not work well on porous surfaces, like untreated tiles, fabric, or rough, soft plastics.

[Edit]Clean the surface you’re sticking the cup to.

1. Use hot soapy water to remove dust that prevents the cup from sticking. Wet a soft lint-free cloth with warm water and add a dab of dish soap. Scrub the area where you want to stick the suction cup to lift up any dirt or built-up grime that’s on the surface. Rinse the spot clean with some water when you’re finished.^[2]
   
   • If there’s still residue stuck onto the surface, try using vinegar or rubbing alcohol instead since they’re harsher cleaners.^[3]

[Edit]Dry the surface thoroughly.

1. Your suction cup is more likely to fall if water gets caught inside. Either wipe the area dry with a lint-free cloth or let it air-dry. If you try to press the suction cup down on top of the surface while it’s wet, it will leave air pockets once it dries and weaken the vacuum seal.^[4]
   

[Edit]Wash the suction cup with dish soap.

1. Any residue or debris on the suction cup could make it slip. Whether you have an old or new suction cup, wipe it with a damp cloth and a dab of dish soap. Wipe the inside of the suction cup clean with the cloth and rinse it under warm water. Be sure to lightly pat the suction cups dry with a lint-free towel.^[5]
   
   • For any stuck-on residue, try scrubbing the suction cup with vinegar.

[Edit]Boil old suction cups to revive them.

1. The heat softens the suction cup so they press onto the surface easier. Fill a pot with enough water to fully submerge the suction cups and bring it to a boil. Take the pot off of heat and drop your suction cups in for about 30 seconds. Take them out with a pair of tongs and pat them dry on a lint-free towel.^[6]
   
   • Try to use the suction cups right after you dry so they’re still warm and flexible.

[Edit]Stick the suction cup on when the air temp is above .

1. Lower temperatures cause air pockets to form inside of the seal. Once air pockets start to form, they weaken your suction cup’s bond with the surface. Wait for the air temperatures to warm up to make your suction cups stronger and get the best results.^[7]
   
   • A good trick to keep suction cups on windows is waiting until warmer spring and summer months so outside temperatures don’t cause them to slip.

[Edit]Rub petroleum jelly onto the suction cup.

1. A small dab of petroleum jelly forms an airtight seal. Dip your finger into a tub of petroleum jelly and spread a thin layer around the bottom of the suction cup. When you press the suction cup onto the surface, the petroleum jelly will fill in any gaps and keep water from getting in so you have the tightest seal.^[8]
   
   • In a pinch, you can use any hand lotion instead.^[9]
   • Petroleum jelly works great to attach suction cups to glass.

[Edit]Apply silicone for a more permanent hold.

1. Silicone dries onto the surface and makes a water-tight seal. Silicone works best on surfaces like glass, hard plastic, and tiles. Get a small tube of waterproof silicone and apply it to the bottom of the suction cup in a spiral pattern. Leave a little free space around the edge of the cup to prevent the silicone from squeezing out.^[10]
   
   • You can buy silicone from your local hardware store.

[Edit]Press the suction cup down firmly in the middle.

1. The suction cup will make better contact with the surface for a tighter hold. Hold the suction cup over the surface and push down. Press down hard with your thumb to try and make the suction cup flat against the surface.^[11]
   
   • Pushing against the edges could let air underneath the seal and weaken the suction cup’s hold.
   • If you used silicone and any squeezed out around the edges, quickly wipe up the excess with a damp paper towel.

[Edit]Wait 24 hours to put weight on the suction cup.

1. Using the suction cup right away could weaken the seal. Avoid hanging anything or applying pressure to the suction cup right after you put it up. Give the seal a chance to set so it holds firm and doesn’t fall down.^[12]
   

[Edit]Push down on the suction cup every few days.

1. Checking on the suction cup helps you catch it before it comes loose. If you want to make suction cups stick forever, you’ll have to check them every few days before they get too weak and fall down. Use your thumb to press down on the middle of the suction cup to get rid of any air bubbles that may have found their way inside.^[13]
   
   • This is called “burping” your suction cups.

[Edit]Replace suction cups if they have frilled edges.

1. Frilled edges let in air and make suction cups fall down. The edges of a suction cup only form a tight seal if they’re flat against the surface. If you’ve tried reshaping your suction cups and the edges still lift up from the surface, it’s time to pick up a new one from your local hardware store.^[14]
   

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://upgradedhome.com/how-to-make-suction-cups-stick-in-the-shower/
2. ↑ https://youtu.be/ssXOjBsRP1c?t=21
3. ↑ https://upgradedhome.com/how-to-make-suction-cups-stick-in-the-shower/
4. ↑ https://www.itsafishthing.com/how-to-get-suction-cups-to-stick-in-aquarium/
5. ↑ https://www.itsafishthing.com/how-to-get-suction-cups-to-stick-in-aquarium/
6. ↑ https://youtu.be/ZBaFRYf51yw?t=18
7. ↑ https://upgradedhome.com/how-to-make-suction-cups-stick-in-the-shower/
8. ↑ https://youtu.be/ssXOjBsRP1c?t=48
9. ↑ https://youtu.be/ziwVDbq74YU?t=22
10. ↑ https://homeexplained.com/how-to-make-a-suction-cup-stick-to-a-tiled-shower-wall/
11. ↑ https://www.itsafishthing.com/how-to-get-suction-cups-to-stick-in-aquarium/
12. ↑ https://www.automotiveguider.com/automotive-guides/how-to-make-car-phone-holder-sticky-again/
13. ↑ https://www.automotiveguider.com/automotive-guides/how-to-make-car-phone-holder-sticky-again/
14. ↑ https://www.itsafishthing.com/how-to-get-suction-cups-to-stick-in-aquarium/

How to Send a Good Morning Text

When you want to make someone feel really special right when they wake up, a morning text puts a smile on their face before they even get out of bed.^[1] If you’re having trouble thinking of something creative to say, we’ve got your back! Keep reading for a ton of different example messages you can try out whether you’re texting a new crush or someone you’ve been seeing for a while!

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]“Good morning! 😊”

1. Start their day off right with a short and sweet message. If you want to keep it casual, you can’t go wrong with a quick text wishing them a good start to their day. Throw in an emoji or cute pet name to personalize your message a little bit more. They’ll be in a good mood after seeing your text right when they wake up.^[2] Some things you could try saying are:^[3]
   
   • “Morning! I hope you slept well!”
   • “Good morning, cutie pie 😘 How’d you sleep?”

[Edit]“Time to get up, sleepyhead!”

1. Tease them a little bit if they’re not a morning person. If you’re awake before the person you’re messaging, joke around to make them laugh when they wake up. Keep it light and try not to be too sarcastic or mean since your conversation partner might misread the tone of your message. Some quirky texts you could send include:
   
   • “BEEP BEEP! This is your alarm telling you to wake up 😉”
   • “Morning! It’s time to get out of bed and smell the coffee!”

[Edit]“Let’s get this bread!”

1. Share some words of encouragement to motivate their morning. When the person has a stressful day coming up, cheer them on and put them in a positive mindset. If you know they’re worried about something specific coming up during the day, tell them how well they’re going to do so they have that extra boost of confidence. Try saying something like:
   
   • “Good morning! Good luck with your work presentation! I know you’re going to crush it.”
   • “Morning! I know you’ve got a busy day, but you’ve got this! I believe in you 😊”

[Edit]“I hope you have an amazing day!”

1. Wish someone a positive time to help them get through the day. Saying “I hope” makes your message feel a little more personal and lets the other person know that you’re really supportive. Toss in an emoji or some extra exclamation points to make your message a little more uplifting. Some other texts you could try are:
   
   • “Good morning 🙂 Hope your morning goes by quickly!”
   • “Morning!! You’re going to rock it today!”

[Edit]“Woke up with you on my mind.”

1. Let the person know that you’re thinking of them as soon as you get up. Your crush or partner will love knowing that they’ve been running through your thoughts all morning. Remind them of how special they are with messages like:^[4]
   
   • “You were the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep and the first thing in my head this morning ❤️”
   • “Morning 😊 thinking of you today. Hope you have a great day!”

[Edit]“You shine brighter than the sun ☀️”

1. Flatter them with a quick compliment. You’re sure to put a smile on their face when you say something sweet right when they wake up. Get creative and go a little out of the box when you’re complimenting them so your message stands out. Some other cute morning compliments include:
   
   • “The only thing more beautiful than the sunrise is you 🥰”
   • “Good morning! Even though it’s a little gloomy, you brighten up my day!”

[Edit]“When do I get to see you today?”

1. Build up a little anticipation if you want to make plans later. If you want to get together, ask the other person right away if they’re free. You can always figure out the details later, but let them know that you’re really interested in seeing them. Mention how excited you are with texts like:^[5]
   
   • “Morning! I’m counting down the minutes until I can see your face! Can we get together this afternoon?”
   • “It’s a lot easier getting through the morning knowing I get to see you soon 😘”

[Edit]“I had such a great time with you last night.”

1. Let a date know that you’re still thinking about your time together. If you were with the other person the night before, say how much of an impact they left on you. You can mention something specific that you loved or just send a general message about how much you enjoyed your date. Tell them they’re on your mind with texts like:^[6]
   
   • “Good morning 😊 I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since last night.”
   • “Morning. 😘 I hope you had as much fun on our date as I did.”

[Edit]“I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”

1. Make them feel like the most special person in your life. The person you’re texting will love hearing how much they mean to you. Tell them what you appreciate about them or give a general compliment about how they make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. Other texts you can try sending include:
   
   • “Talking to you is the best part of every morning.”
   • “You mean the absolute world to me ❤️ I hope you have a great day!”

[Edit]“You’re the reason I get up every day.”

1. Show how serious your feelings are with a loving text. If the person means the world to you, confess your feelings so they know. They may even message you the same thing back after they wake up! Make their day with a message like:
   
   • “I can’t stop smiling this morning, and it’s all because of you. 😘”
   • “Nothing makes me more excited to wake up than seeing your face. Morning hon!”

[Edit]“I had a crazy dream about you!”

1. Get a little flirty by letting them know they’re always in your mind. They’ll really love knowing that they’re the one you think about even while you’re asleep. Keep the details of your dream a secret at first so the person is more likely to text you back asking for more. Some things you might say include:
   
   • “Are you still tired? Because you were running through my head all night.”
   • “You won’t believe what we did in my dreams last night. Maybe we can make them come true 😉”

[Edit]“I wish I could wake up next to you.”

1. Let them know that you’re missing them with a simple, sexy tease. If you aren’t able to cuddle up with the person you’re texting, tell them how much you want that physical connection. They’ll really love that you want to wake up together and spend your mornings with them. Try being a little playful with messages like:^[7]
   
   • “The only thing I’m missing this morning is you ❤️”
   • “Morning cutie! 😘 I wish I could give you a real kiss this morning, but this will have to do!”

[Edit]“Just wanted to pop in and say I love you!”

1. Make your S.O. smile with a quick reminder of how much they mean to you. If you’ve been with someone for a while, remind them of how you feel each morning so they feel really secure in the relationship. Even a short text can make them feel warm and bubbly inside. Some sweet messages you can send are:
   
   • “Every morning, I think about how blessed I am to have you. ❤️ I love you so much!”
   • “I’m so grateful to start each day talking to you 💖 have a great day, honey!”

[Edit]Tips

• Try sending a funny meme or GIF to put a smile on their face right when they wake up.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ [v161232_b01]. 22 September 2021.
2. ↑ [v161232_b01]. 22 September 2021.
3. ↑ https://www.sweetyhigh.com/read/good-morning-texts-send-crush-102819
4. ↑ https://everydaypower.com/good-morning-texts-for-her/
5. ↑ https://pandagossips.com/posts/1923
6. ↑ https://youtu.be/CbtYE72yLVw?t=219
7. ↑ https://youtu.be/CbtYE72yLVw?t=164

How to Know when to Kiss on a Date

Use our guide to smooching someone for the first time and kiss your dating anxiety goodbye!

It’s the end of your first, second, or maybe third date with a new person who you really dig. All your laughter and joking around, your stolen glances over dinner or coffee, maybe even some tentative hand-holding—it’s all been leading up to this moment: the kiss! But how do you know when the time is right? Even if the date seemed to go well…how do you know for absolute certain that they want to lock lips? Don’t worry! That first kiss is exhilarating and anxiety-inducing for all of us, but if you want to feel more comfortable gauging your date’s interest and knowing when to lay one on ’em, check out our guide to kissing on a date, below!

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Kiss on whichever date you feel comfortable. Many people wait until the end of a first, second, or third date; this gives you time to get to know each other.
• Gauge your date’s interest before planting one to make sure they’re receptive to kissing. If you’re not positive they’re up for it, ask.
• Show them you’re interested by finding small ways to touch them, maintaining eye contact with them, and leaning towards them slowly.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Showing and Gauging Interest

1. Stare at the person's mouth to show your interest. While this might seem a little silly, spending some time looking at the person's mouth can indicate you want to kiss them. Of course, you don't want to look at their mouth only, as gazing into their eyes is also romantic. Nonetheless, occasionally glancing at your date's lips can help indicate you want to kiss someone.^[1]
   
   • Don't continuously stare at your date’s mouth. They might get weirded out. Short one to two second glances here and there should do the trick!
2. Find ways to subtly touch them. This touch isn't necessarily an intimate touch. Rather, touch their arm or their shoulder as you talk, or move closer to them so your legs are touching. These small touches show you want to get closer.^[2]
   
   • You don’t have to wait until the end of the date to start your little touches; you can build up to the kiss with little touches throughout your date. If you’re at dinner together, try putting your hand on their hand. If you’re at a movie, sit close so that your shoulders touch.
   • If they pull back, they may not be as interested. Some people don't like to be touched, so you may need to be patient.
3. Compliment the person. Tell the person you like the way they smile or that you find their humor charming. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and when you compliment someone, you show them you care.
   
   • Try to give sincere, direct compliments. In other words, really pay attention to the person and figure out what you like about them. That way, you can give a compliment that's specific to the person.^[3]
   • For instance, saying "You look pretty," is fairly general. Saying, "Your smile is so lovely. It lights up the room," is much more specific.
4. Observe their body language to see if they’re receptive. Your date’s body language will tell you a lot about whether they’re enjoying the date and whether they might like a smooch. Keep an eye out for open body language, and note if they return your flirty little touches. ^[4]
   
   • If your date is into you, they might play with their hair, hold your gaze, lean toward you, or even mimic your movements (subconsciously).
   • And, yes, they might look at your lips, just like you’re looking at theirs! We love the sexual tension!
5. Listen for verbal cues that they're interested. Just like you compliment your date to indicate your interest, if your date is interested in you, they'll likely flirt back in some way. They might compliment you, laugh at your jokes (and try to make you laugh), or indicate investment by asking you deeper questions to get to know you.
   
   • Realize that this may not mean your date wants to kiss. They may be having a nice time, and they may like you romantically, but they could still be uncomfortable kissing yet.
   • If your date asks you for a piece of gum, they may be trying to freshen up their breath before a potential smooch. (Make sure you freshen up, too!)

[Edit]Finding the Right Time and Place

1. Kiss on whichever date you feel comfortable. Some people choose to wait until their third date to kiss, while others are more comfortable kissing on the first date. There aren’t hard and fast rules about which date to kiss on, but generally, people kiss after they’ve spent some time together, gotten to know one another, and gotten a feel for whether the other person is up for a little smooching.^[5]
   
   • You don't even need to be on a date to kiss: you can smooch during a casual hangout or at work or school, if the moment is right. As long as you both want to kiss, it doesn’t matter when you do it.
   • You may feel comfortable kissing on a first date, but remember that your date may not be, so assume nothing, and don't feel bad if they're not up for it. They may feel more comfortable after you've gone out a few times!
2. Wait until the end of the date to initiate a kiss. The end of the first, second, or third date is often when that magical first kiss occurs. Usually, a kiss acts as a goodbye—and though it doesn’t always mean a follow-up date is on the horizon, it’s a good way to let your date know if you’d like to see them again.^[6]
   
   • Waiting to kiss until the end of a date gives you more time to gauge their feelings—if you try to kiss someone without spending enough time with them, they’ll be more likely to turn you down.
   • Another reason to wait till the end of the date: if it doesn’t go well, or if your date rejects your kiss, you get to leave right after!
3. Pick somewhere private, but not too private. Some people are shy about kissing in front of other people. Find a place that's a bit secluded, such as your or your date’s front porch, or under a streetlight outside the restaurant you just ate at. Just make sure your kissing site isn’t too secluded, or your date might get nervous if they don’t know you well!
   
   • If you can't find a secluded spot, dim lighting (like at a restaurant or movie theater) may afford you some privacy. Studies also indicate that being intimate in dim spaces can help you be more present with your partner and feel less self-conscious—which may be particularly helpful when kissing for the first time!^[7]
4. Initiate a kiss when your date lingers. If someone wants to kiss you but is too shy to ask about it or to instigate a smooch themselves, they'll likely spend some time hanging around at the end of the date. So if their body language hasn’t already convinced you they might be receptive to locking lips, if they don’t rush off at the end of the date, it’s a sign they’re probably waiting for a little kiss.
   
   • If they rush off, it doesn’t necessarily mean they didn’t want to kiss; they might be nervous or not comfortable kissing on a first date.

[Edit]Initiating the Kiss

1. Look the person in the eye to show them you desire them. Now that you've found the perfect spot and time, take a moment just to look the person in the eye. Gazing into someone's eyes can be quite intimate, as most people don't spend more than a few seconds looking into someone else's eyes. Hold the person's gaze as you contemplate kissing them.^[8]
   
2. Slowly lean in closer. Leaning in indicates you want to get more intimate, and going slowly gives your date a heads-up that you’re going to kiss them. If they don't want to kiss, going slow gives them a chance to lean away or to turn your head so you kiss their cheek.^[9]
   
3. If you’re not sure, ask if they want to be kissed. Consent is important, and while body language can tell you a lot about someone’s intentions, it’s often unclear what a person wants unless you come out and ask. Asking if you can kiss someone doesn't need to break the moment. Rather, it shows you respect the person enough to ask.^[10]
   
   • If you’re worried that asking will spoil the “romance,” there are lots of cute and romantic ways to ask!
     • You could give them a handwritten note that says, “Can I kiss you?”
     • Make a silly joke by saying, “Welcome to Kissville, population: us!” so they know what your intentions are (and keeping it light may alleviate the pressure if they don’t feel up for it).
     • Or just be direct and say, “I really want to kiss you right now” or “Would you mind if I kissed you?” Telling your date what you want can be pretty darn hot, actually!
4. Move in for the kiss. Once you know they’re up for it, it’s time to plant a kiss. Bring your face in closer, but let the other person come part way. Even if they said yes, it's good to let them make part of the move, so you know for sure they want it. You'll both need to tilt a bit so you don't bump noses, then move on with the kissing part.
   
   • Keep your lips slightly parted and soft. If you're too rigid, it won't be a great kiss.
   • Most people don’t French kiss the first time they kiss, but if you want to initiate tongue, and you think your date is into it, slowly introduce your tongue to your partner’s lips. If their mouth opens to receive your tongue, it’s a sign they’re interested in Frenching, but if they keep their lips closed, it likely means they’re not up for it.^[11]
5. Go easy on yourself if they reject your kiss. There are lots of reasons a person might reject a kiss, and while it can hurt, it’s important to respect their choice. Don’t take rejection too hard. It happens to everyone at some point!^[12]
   
   • If your date rejects your kiss, it could mean they didn’t feel enough chemistry and aren’t interested in a romantic relationship with you. This always stings, but it’s good to know!
   • But it’s also possible your date likes you but they’re just not ready to kiss yet. If they seem to have had a good time, and if they express interest in going out again, it’s likely you’ll kiss them soon enough!

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/be-better/2481-how-to-initiate-a-kiss/
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/4-ways-tell-whether-someone-is-you
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-of-the-self/201401/praise-as-manipulation-6-reasons-to-question-compliments
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201603/4-ways-tell-whether-someone-is-you
5. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/first-date-kiss-hug-text-tips-advice-b2238102.html
6. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/first-date-kiss-hug-text-tips-advice-b2238102.html
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201901/do-you-make-love-your-eyes-closed
8. ↑ https://pairedlife.com/physical-intimacy/PandasKissingHub
9. ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/be-better/2481-how-to-initiate-a-kiss/
10. ↑ https://www.antiviolenceproject.org/2015/01/creative-ways-to-ask-to-kiss-or-be-kissed-by-someone/
11. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-french-kiss
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202203/how-handle-rejection