How to Rizz Quiz

What does it mean to have a lot of rizz? Find out here! “Rizz” is short for “charisma,” and it basically measures your charm and appeal—especially when it comes to flirting. When you have rizz, you have no problem getting attention from anyone! Rizz is also like currency—the more you flirt and even score a phone number (or date) from people, the more rizz you earn.

So, how much rizz do you have right now? Are you a natural at chatting people up, or does your rizz need a little work? Answer a few simple questions, and we’ll tell you exactly what your rizz score is!

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Do I Have Rizz?

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1. What do you absolutely need to have rizz?

1. Confidence.
2. Witty one-liners.
3. Money.
4. Self-love.

2. Someone cute catches your eye. What do you do?

1. I smoothly give them my number.
2. I go over and introduce myself.
3. I consider saying hi but get nervous.
4. I catch their eye in return and hope they approach me.

3. What’s your personal style?

1. Fashionable and eye-catching!
2. Stylish, but not too elaborate.
3. Comfort above all else. Who cares about fashion?
4. I don’t worry about fashion much, but I always look good.

4. When was the last time you tried to flirt with someone?

1. Just yesterday!
2. Pretty recently—sometime this past month.
3. I almost never do it—maybe last year?
4. Someone approached me yesterday and started flirting—I flirted back.

5. How skilled do you think you are at chatting people up?

1. I’m an expert.
2. I’m pretty good at it.
3. I’m terrible at it!
4. I’m used to being chatted up, not the other way around.

6. How would you handle a conflict with someone else?

1. I’d do my best to talk things out and resolve the issue.
2. I’d fight back and stand up for myself.
3. I’d avoid them but worry about it a lot.
4. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have a life to live!

7. Is scoring a date a big priority for you?

1. No, I’m really smooth and score dates whenever I put my mind to it.
2. Yes, but I never try too hard.
3. Yes, and I’m starting to feel desperate.
4. No, I tend to get dates without even trying.

8. How do you feel about big, super energetic parties?

1. Love ‘em! That’s what I’m doing this weekend.
2. I usually enjoy them, even if I get exhausted afterward.
3. I don’t like them and often look for excuses not to go.
4. I’m not a huge fan, but I make the effort sometimes when friends beg me to go.

9. What’s your vibe when flirting?

1. I always have an air of assurance and positivity.
2. I’m honest and direct about my feelings.
3. I make prolonged eye contact from afar.
4. I give really heartfelt compliments.

10. What’s your go-to conversation topic when you don’t know someone very well?

1. Music and entertainment.
2. Travel.
3. Politics.
4. Deeper stuff, like my hobbies and personal values.

11. What would you do if your crush only saw you as a friend?

1. I’d subtly try to woo them over time.
2. I’d accept it gracefully and start looking for romance elsewhere.
3. I’d feel really hurt and totally cut them out of my life.
4. I’d prioritize getting to know them better as good friends.

12. How would you get someone’s attention if they don’t know you exist?

1. I’d go over, say hi, and trust that everything will work out.
2. I’d come up with a couple of icebreaker lines before introducing myself.
3. I’d try to do something cute to get their attention, like getting them flowers.
4. I’d try to look my best and wait for them to come to me.

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I Keep Hearing "Rizz" Everywhere. What Does It Mean?

How to

Be Charming

How to

Ask Your Crush On a Date

How to

Get Someone's Phone Number

[Edit]What is Rizz & Where Does It Come From?

Rizz is basically your ability to flirt, attract, and seduce other people. When you “rizz someone up,” it means you’ve convinced them to give you their number—or at least return your attention and flirt back. Rizz is a shortened form of “charisma,” and it’s not about being the most attractive or cool person around—it’s about having game and a very smooth way with words.

The Origins of Rizz

Kai Cenat, a popular Twitch streamer, first came up with the concept of rizz on TikTok in 2021—and before long, the #rizz hashtag took off across TikTok and the entirety of social media. Although Cenat originally described rizz as having the ability to flirt with any girl, you don’t have to be a particular gender to have rizz, and you can use your rizz to flirt with anyone—not just girls.

When he coined the term “rizz,” Cenat also declared that the formula for determining someone’s rizz is their pickup ability divided by their attractiveness. Basically, according to Cenat, someone considered less attractive but has plenty of game also has very high (or “winning”) rizz because they still score a lot despite seemingly having disadvantages. In other words, the better luck you have and the more disadvantages working against you, the higher your rizz is.

Types of Rizz

When Kai Cenat came up with the idea of rizz, he also came up with several different kinds of rizz that a person can have, based on their flirting ability and the vibe they give off when chatting people up. If you have no problem scoring a date even though you might not have a lot of money or clout, for example, you have a higher amount of rizz. If you rely on your money to get attention or act too overeager, on the other hand, you may have lower rizz. There are 3 main types of rizz, according to Cenat:

• W Rizz. W rizz, or “winning” rizz, is the best kind of rizz you can have. It means you’ve got a ton of game and have no problem chatting up just about anyone—and you have a consistent record of scoring phone numbers, Snapchats, and dates when you choose to put yourself out there. In short, W rizz means having a way with words and a ton of smooth, successful pickup lines at your disposal.
• L Rizz. L rizz, or “low” rizz, is the opposite of W rizz. L rizz means having little to no rizz at all and is often used to describe someone who tries too hard yet doesn’t have much success in flirting with others. Sometimes, L rizz is also described as “cringe” because someone with L rizz (according to Cenat) may even find themselves repelling people instead of attracting them.
• V Rizz. V rizz, or “unspoken” rizz, is a less-common kind of rizz—and if you’ve got it, you may not even realize it! That’s because unspoken rizz is all about being able to attract attention and score dates without even trying. If you have unspoken rizz, you don’t necessarily have a way with words or the ability to flirt with someone until they agree to a date; rather, you just have a vibe that makes other people flock to you and want to flirt with you instead.

[Edit]Want to learn more?

For more information about rizz and how to use it, check out the following sites:

• https://thetab.com/uk/2022/12/08/rizz-tiktok-meaning-explained-285136
• https://www.today.com/parents/teens/rizz-meaning-social-media-slang-rcna89400
• https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/music/a43482218/rizz-meaning-tiktok/

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[Edit]References

How to Improve Your Personality

Your personality includes your individual differences from other people in how you think, feel, and behave.^[1] You might want to improve your personality if you just moved to a new school, got a new job, or simply because you want to be your best version of yourself. You can develop a warmer personality by making good connections with others, learning new things, and having some fun!

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Developing Your Conversation Skills

1. Read something every day. Another component of improving your personality is expanding your knowledge. Keep up with the current news by reading a few articles on your phone or open a novel and read a chapter or two. This will help stimulate your mind and give you things to discuss with others.^[2]
   
2. Develop opinions on important issues. From your readings, begin to form your own opinions about the current events of today. You might find that others will be debating the issue around you soon, so you’ll want to have something to contribute. Make sure you articulate your points with grace and logic.^[3]
   
   • You might say something like, “Though I can understand the arguments against affirmative action, I do believe this country has done some terrible things to setback minorities and that we have some responsibility to correct that.”
3. Be a good listener. When others are speaking, listen to understand them. Don’t wait until they’re finished so you can respond, but truly focus in on what they’re saying. Try to repeat back what they’ve said to you every few minutes so you can show that you hear them.^[4]
   
   • You might say something like, “So, Jan it seems like you’re frustrated that your boss decided to promote the new guy instead of you. I can see how that would be really upsetting.”
4. Put your phone down. To make deeper connections with others and improve your personality, unplug from time to time. You'll be much more well received if you're engaged with those around you as opposed to scrolling down your timeline or liking pics.^[5]
   

[Edit]Becoming More Well-Rounded

1. Meet new people. Making new connections can help teach you more about others and build your social skills. Seek friendships with those different from your current friends so you can become a more well-rounded person.^[6]
   
   • You might join a club at your school to meet new folks, go to a church, or find a group tailored to your interests, like a book club.
2. Practice a fun hobby. The most fun and enjoyable people aren’t the ones cooped up at home watching Netflix all day! They’re out and about doing fun and productive things. Find something that you enjoy that can help connect you to others while also peaking your interest.^[7]
   
   • For instance, you might try horseback riding, swimming, or joining a fitness class.
   • Make sure to try out new hobbies as well. This will test the limits of your comfort zone and help you to grow.
3. Do something just for you daily. The people with the best personalities are usually those who are the happiest. Make yourself happy by spending some time each day, even if it’s just fifteen minutes, doing something fun for you.
   
   • You might choose to play basketball, get some ice cream, watch a movie, or go to dinner with a friend.
   • When you’re feeling crabby throughout your day, improve your mood by watching a funny video or searching for funny memes.
4. Maintain a healthy diet. Improve your personality and your mood by eating healthy foods. Fruit in particular has been proven to help increase motivation so munch on some apples, oranges and bananas today!^[8]
   
5. Meditate daily. Sometimes, life can be a mess and it can make your mind even messier. Without proper focus, you might find that you’re rude to others, absent-minded, or just plain grouchy. Take some time each day to clear your mind and improve your mental health by meditating.^[9]
   
   • If you’ve never meditated before, try using an app on your phone like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer.
6. Reflect on what you’re grateful for each day. Each day, either in the morning or before you go to bed, take some time to think about one thing you’re grateful for. This will help you become a more positive person and ensure you don’t take anything for granted.^[10]
   
   • You might choose to write these down or simply meditate or pray about them. Get into the habit of writing down 3 things that you are grateful for every day. You may even want to set a reminder on your phone so that you remember to do this.
7. Spend time with family and friends. The best folks to improve your personality with and for are those closest to you. Spend time each week connecting with them. Visit your mom and bring her flowers, or bring over soup to your friend who is sick. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will return the favor to you. Now go forth and show everyone how awesome you are!
   

[Edit]Making a Good Impression

1. Greet everyone with a smile. The first and most simple step you can take to improve your personality is to give everyone a warm greeting. People will perceive you as friendly and kind if you smile when you see them. Flash your pearly whites and shake their hands or hug them.
   
2. Mind your manners. Politeness conveys respect and thoughtfulness to others. Use the appropriate titles, such as Dr., when greeting someone. Show special respect to elders, always referring to them as Mr. or Mrs./Ms.
   
   • Have good table manners too. Sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table, and don’t smack or slurp.
3. Ask open-ended questions. When you meet someone, don’t go on and on about yourself; get to know them instead! Ask them questions about themselves that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.^[11]
   
   • You might say something like, “So, I hear you’re a big music buff. Who are some of your favorite artists?”
   • If you have trouble making conversation with others, join a group like Toastmasters. They're designed to help build your confidence in networking and public speaking.
4. Keep your promises. Those who have good personalities are often very reliable and trustworthy people. If you tell someone you’ll do something, don’t make excuses! Just follow through so they know they can depend on you.^[12]
   
   • For instance, if you have a meeting set for 10 AM, arrive a few minutes early. This will show that you are respectful of others time. If you tell your mom you’ll take her to dinner for her birthday, do it! Get her a card, too!
5. Offer a helping hand to those in need. Always look for little opportunities to help others. See someone struggling to get a book off a high shelf? Step in if you can. Or perhaps you’re on a bus and a woman with a cane enters. Offer her your seat! Personality is created in part by all of the kindness you show for others, so get started today!^[13]
   
6. Continue doing these things even if they don’t come naturally. Keep in mind that it takes time for changes to become habits, or to even become comfortable with new behaviors. If you find it hard to adapt any of these new behaviors, then focus on faking it until they become more comfortable for you.
   
   • For example, if you are uncomfortable with smiling, then smiling regularly should start to relieve some of that discomfort and it will eventually become easier for you.

[Edit]Setting Goals

1. Set goals for yourself. People with great personalities are motivated to becoming the best version of themselves. Set goals for yourself, both personally and professionally, so you can reach your full potential.^[14]
   
   • For instance, you might set a short term goal of working out three times this week. Your long term goal could be getting a promotion at work within a year.
   • Make sure that the goals you set for yourself will push you beyond your comfort zone in some way. Otherwise, you will not grow from them.
2. Make an action plan. In order to achieve your goals, you’ll need a plan. Write down what you want to do and each step required to achieve it. Celebrate at each step as you make it through!^[15]
   
   • For instance, if you want to get a promotion, you might make it your goal to nail the presentation you have coming up. You might also set a goal of arriving to work early each day, taking on additional tasks, and completing a training to advance your skills.
3. Learn a new skill. Trying something new can help teach you perseverance and improve your work ethic, both of which are important to personality. Identify something you want to learn or improve upon and start at it soon.^[16]
   
   • You might choose something like cooking or learning a new language.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/personality/
2. ↑ https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/why-its-important-to-read/
3. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/introspection-self-reflection/
4. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening/
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202005/learn-how-avoid-distraction-in-world-thats-full-it
6. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/big-five-personality-theory/
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-trails/201509/six-reasons-get-hobby
8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-eating/healthy-eating.htm
9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm
10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-relationships/201409/6-ways-become-more-positive-today
11. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/socratic-questioning/
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/lights-camera-happiness/201005/why-keeping-your-promise-is-good-you
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201805/in-helping-others-you-help-yourself
14. ↑ https://inside.ewu.edu/calelearning/psychological-skills/goal-setting/
15. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting/
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201912/9-key-principles-learning-new-skill

How to Force Yourself to Seriously Study

Studying is such an important part of school, yet it’s often one of the things students struggle with the most. If you have a hard time studying seriously, you’re not alone! Get into a habit of studying at the same time every day, break down your work into small tasks, and pick something to reward yourself with when you’re done. With time, you can make studying a fruitful part of your day and break the procrastination and guilt cycle.

[Edit]How to Start Studying

• Set a timer for yourself so you have an end point for your study sessions. A 30- to 50-minute block could be a good starting point.
• Create a study schedule for yourself so you get in the habit of studying regularly.
• Divide your study material into smaller chunks so it's less overwhelming to go over all at once.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Motivating Yourself

1. Keep a list of the reasons why you need or want to study. Whatever your reasons are, write them down on a piece of paper and keep them somewhere you can see them often. When you feel like skipping out on studying, read them over to remind yourself of why you need to work hard.^[1]
   
   • Reasons to study can range from wanting to get good grades so you can get into a good college to keeping a scholarship to simply not getting in trouble for getting bad grades. No reason is too big or too small to add to your list!^[2]
2. Make boring information more interesting so it’s easier to study. Ask yourself, “How does this material relate to my life?” or “How can I use this in my life?” For example, if you’re bored by the book you have to read for English class, ask yourself how you can relate to the characters in the book to keep yourself engaged. Or, if you’re struggling with studying for biology, get interested in how much you can learn about your yourself and all the living things around you.^[3]
   
   • It can be difficult to be interested in everything, and some subjects just won’t captivate you. But, try your best to figure out how everything you’re learning can apply to your own life. That personal connection could spark enough interest to keep you going!
3. Set a timer so that you know there is an end in sight. Nobody wants to study for hours on end without a stopping point. Give yourself frequent, regular breaks during your study time. You could set an end time for the day, too, so that you know at the latest how long you’ll be studying.^[4]
   
   • For your actual study blocks, set a timer for 30-50 minutes and then take a timed break before getting back to work. You’ll study more efficiently if you know a timer will be going off soon.
   • If you study right after school, you could commit to working until dinner time but then give yourself the rest of the evening off. Or, if you study at night, set a timer for 30 minutes before your bedtime so you can wind down.
4. Reward yourself at the end of each study block to keep yourself going. This can be something really small, like getting to enjoy a piece of your favorite candy at the end of each block of time, getting to check Twitter or Instagram for 5 minutes, or taking a break to cuddle your pet.^[5]
   
   • You could also plan a fun reward for the end of each exam to celebrate all your hard work! Getting coffee with friends, taking a long bath, buying something you’ve had your eye on—make it something that you love to do so it feels more meaningful once you’ve taken a test.
5. Enlist the help of a study buddy. This doesn’t have to mean you actually sit down and study together. Rather, this is a person you can check in with every day to help keep you on track. If you know you have to text someone at the end of the day to tell them if you hit your goals, it could help you stay motivated to study when you don’t feel like it.^[6]
   
   • You could ask your study buddy to check in with you if they haven’t heard from you in a few days. This could get you back on track with your plans before too much time passes.

[Edit]Making a Schedule

1. Study at the same time every day so it becomes a habit. If you’re a morning person, consider waking up before school to get in some study time. If you’re a night owl, committing a few hours every evening might work best. Or, if you like to get things done so you can move on to more enjoyable tasks, you may want to commit to studying as soon as you get home from school every day.^[7]
   
   • If you don’t already, try using a daily planner. You can use the calendar app on your phone or get a physical planner to write in. Schedule in your study time each day so that you remember to not book anything else for that time.
2. Make a schedule for exams so you can start studying ahead of time. As soon as you learn about a test, write it down in your calendar.^[8] If your teacher gave you a schedule at the beginning of the semester, take some time to input all the important due dates and exam dates into your planner.^[9]
   
   • For example, if you know you have a Spanish test next Friday and an Algebra test the following Wednesday, you’ll know that you need to study for Spanish first.
   • It can even be helpful to write in reminders for the weeks before a test to start studying! For example, if you have a big English test coming up in 3 weeks and you want 2 weeks to study the material, put in a reminder to start studying ahead of time.
3. Break down the material you need to learn into small sections. To avoid getting overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of what you need to do, break down the information into small, bite-sized pieces. Write down what each piece consists of so you know what you need to tackle when you sit down to study.^[10]
   
   • For example, if your Chemistry test is going to cover 5 chapters and vocabulary words, your smaller sections could be made up of reading a chapter at a time and making vocab cards. 
   • Concentrate on getting 1 step done during each study block. When you’re done, put a checkmark next to it so you can track your progress. This will help you feel more motivated and in control of your study sessions.
4. Schedule time to rest and relax. It isn’t realistic to expect yourself to be able to study for 5 hours straight—your brain will need a break! You may need to take a short 5-10 minute break every 30 minutes. If you can go a little longer, try studying for 50 minutes before taking a 10-minute break. When you do take a break, stand up, walk around, get some fresh air, get a snack, or simply rest your eyes for a few minutes.^[11]
   
   • On a bigger scale, you may need to schedule a few “rest days” for yourself during exam season. If you know you’ll be studying hard for a few weeks, set aside a day where you will free yourself from all studying obligations completely. This will be something to look forward to!

[Edit]Removing Distractions

1. Have a healthy snack and drink some water before studying so you can focus. Hunger and thirst can be huge distractions when you sit down to study. Avoid eating sugary foods so that you don’t crash later on. If you’re going to drink caffeine, try to limit yourself to 1-2 cups of coffee or a single soda so that you don’t get jittery.^[12]
   
   • Vegetables, fruits, nuts, cheese, popcorn, yogurt, and hummus are great snacks to choose from.
2. Boost your concentration by taking a quick walk before you study. Work out some nervous energy and boost your endorphins with a 10-15 minute exercise session. When you sit down to study afterward, it’ll be easier for you to focus and retain what you’re studying.^[13]
   
3. Go someplace where you won’t be distracted by your surroundings. If you’ll be tempted to clean your bedroom or if you live in a noisy space, you may need to find a new study location. Similarly, if you want to study with your friends but find you can’t without getting distracted, you may need to set up some boundaries so that you can concentrate.^[14]
   
   • In general, a space that is clear of sights and sounds that will distract you is going to be the best for studying.
4. Turn off all of your electronics that you don’t need for studying. Or, if you need to use your phone for a timer, turn it onto airplane mode so notifications won’t come through. Don’t have the TV on in the background, and put your phone away somewhere you won’t be tempted to look at it, like in a separate room.^[15]
   
   • There are also some great apps out there that you can use to help limit how much time you spend on your phone. Some can even block access to specific sites during designated times. Do whatever works best for you, whether that’s getting offline altogether or setting up a few restrictions.
5. Be selective about whether or not you’ll listen to music while you study. For some people, music is a huge distraction. But for others, some gentle background music can help them concentrate. Try studying with and without background music to see which way works best for you.^[16]
   
   • If you’re studying in a public place, playing some light music through your headphones can help you tune out everything else that is going on around you.
   • In general, instrumental music is the best for concentration.
6. Set a timer for 10 minutes and get started! It may seem simple, but just starting is often the biggest hurdle to taking your studying seriously. Set a timer and commit to working on the task at hand. Once the timer goes off, set it for another 15-20 minutes before taking your first break. Once you get started, it’ll be easier to continue.^[17]
   
   • Even if you feel behind or like you should have been studying for weeks already, don’t panic. Starting now is better than not starting at all!
   • If you need any electronic devices for studying, turn off apps that could distract you, for example, gaming apps and social media.

[Edit]Reader Videos

[Edit]Tips

• Don’t neglect your sleep schedule—getting a good night’s rest will help you retain information better and will give you more energy to get through those study sessions. Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day for the best results.
• To keep on top of your studying, read over your notes every day from that day’s lessons. You could even rewrite or retype the notes to help cement the information in your brain even more.
• Use class time as study time, too. Instead of using your phone or browsing the internet, focus on the lesson and take good notes. You’ll feel better when you go to study if you don’t have to relearn information you could already know.
• Its lot better to give your phone to your parents or siblings so that u can concentrate on studying. Also, if you need a break, don't get your phone out. Instead, try to do some art, crafts, or talk with a relative. Keep your break simple. Reward yourself after studying.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

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• Study for a Math Exam
• Create a Basic Study Guide

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://services.unimelb.edu.au/counsel/resources/study-related-issues/motivation-to-study
2. ↑ [v161174_b01]. 15 November 2019.
3. ↑ https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2015/nov/10-ways-motivate-yourself-study
4. ↑ https://learningcommons.ubc.ca/the-pomodoro-technique-study-more-efficiently-take-more-breaks/
5. ↑ https://summer.harvard.edu/blog/top-10-study-tips-to-study-like-a-harvard-student/
6. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/motivation.html
7. ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/studying-101-study-smarter-not-harder/
8. ↑ [v161174_b01]. 15 November 2019.
9. ↑ https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/psn/2013/09/learning-secrets
10. ↑ https://at.fhsu.edu/breaking-down-big-assignments
11. ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/taking-breaks/
12. ↑ https://hbr.org/2014/10/what-you-eat-affects-your-productivity
13. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/exercise-can-boost-your-memory-and-thinking-skills
14. ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/take-charge-of-distractions/
15. ↑ https://www.vu.edu.au/about-vu/news-events/study-space/6-ways-to-avoid-social-media-distraction-while-learning-online
16. ↑ https://liberalarts.tamu.edu/blog/2021/03/10/does-listening-to-music-really-help-you-study/
17. ↑ https://learningcommons.ubc.ca/the-pomodoro-technique-study-more-efficiently-take-more-breaks/

How to Confuse a Narcissist

If someone in your life is egotistical, lacks empathy, and has an inflated sense of self, you may consider them to be narcissistic. It's important to note, though, that just because someone displays narcissistic tendencies, it doesn't mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). NPD can only be diagnosed by a licensed therapist, and not everyone with NPD is manipulative or abusive. ^[1] If the person in your life is controlling, toxic, and calculating, it may seem like a challenge to outsmart them, but you can put them in their place by setting boundaries and taking away their ability to manipulate you.^[2] We're here to help you confuse and disarm them with this psychology-backed guide.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Be unpredictable.

1. Manipulative people are comfortable when they know what to expect. Some egoistic people work hard to learn how to get certain reactions (mostly praise) out of you because their self-worth is defined by what others think. When you do or say something unpredictable, they completely unravel because their primary defense mechanism—knowing how to play you—is gone.^[3] Throw them off their game by:
   
   • Changing how you react to their grandiose claims (if you typically push back, try randomly agreeing with them to confuse them).
   • Taking a new leadership position over them if you’re coworkers or classmates.
   • Suddenly showing them little or no reaction to their behavior.

[Edit]Say “no” when they ask for favors.

1. People with big egos often expect others to do things for them. An inflated sense of their own importance may make them feel entitled to special treatment from everyone. Start saying “no” to their requests—they won’t know how to react to the rejection at first and will be shocked to have to manage on their own.^[4]
   
   • They may try to persuade you to regain control of you. Stay firm and stick to your boundaries—backpedaling is an invitation for them to keep poking. Over time, they may learn to respect your boundaries.
   • Switching up when you say “yes” and when you say “no” is a good way to make yourself unpredictable and keep them on their toes.
   • • Narcissists often turn on the charm to get what they want. Setting firm boundaries shuts that love bombing down.

[Edit]Remove all emotion from your reactions to them.

1. They may want you to blow up so they can villainize you. If they can’t get your attention, they might try to elicit a negative emotional response from you and paint themselves as a victim. They’ll point to your outburst as evidence that you’re mean or volatile. Confuse them by keeping your cool—put on a neutral face, speak calmly, and stick to the facts. Don’t mention anything about how you feel or bring up past emotional experiences with them.^[5] Disarm them by:
   
   • Non-judgmentally commenting on what’s happening, like “There isn’t a reason to be upset right now” or “Your behavior seems aggressive.”
   • Giving them simple “yes” or “no” answers to their questions and trying not to directly agree or disagree with them.
   • Using your body language to show them you’re relaxed and unbothered: keep your muscles relaxed and your arms uncrossed.

[Edit]Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.

1. It’s exactly what it sounds like: be as useless and boring as a gray rock.{endbold} Manipulative or self-absorbed people may only want others around to use them or to entertain themselves. If you don’t have anything to offer them, they’ll get puzzled and leave you alone. To use the gray rock method, don't show any physical expression, respond in as few words as possible, and be as boring and unhelpful as you can be.^[6]
   
   • This is a great, subtle tactic to use when you’re stuck with this person and can’t remove yourself from the situation.
   • They’ll likely poke and prod to get some kind of rise out of you. Eventually, they’ll either drop their manipulative act and interact with you in a polite and maybe even genuine way—or they’ll leave you alone to seek attention from someone else.

[Edit]Guard your sensitive information closely.

1. Manipulative people often gather info about you to control you later. They’ll find ways to twist your secrets, past experiences, or insecurities to their own advantage. The solution? Be an enigma to them and offer no personal information about yourself. The less they have on you, the more confused they’ll be by you.^[7]
   
   • It’s hard to withhold information if you live with a narcissistic family member or partner. Try to only share what’s necessary.
   • Keep conversations brief and avoid personal topics like your childhood or love life. Always speak carefully when you answer their questions about you.
   • It’s hard for manipulative people to misquote silence. When in doubt, just stop talking to them.

[Edit]Walk away while they’re talking.

1. A manipulative person is strongest when they're in the room talking at you. Their game is mostly verbal, so confuse them by simply not playing along. Look for ways mid-chat to leave them hanging—use the restroom, fake a phone call, or find an excuse to end the conversation. They’ll doubt their manipulative abilities if they can’t hold you in a conversation.^[8]
   
   • Disengaging is a self-care tactic too. Talking with a self-absorbed or toxic person can often feel frustrating, depleting, and like you’re hitting your head against a wall.^[9]
   • If they start to yell or get verbally abusive, leave the room or hang up the phone to reinforce that you will not let them talk that way to you.

[Edit]Cut off all communication.

1. Self-important people get confused when people don’t want to talk to them. They’re the ones that are used to discarding people, so when it happens in reverse, they feel confused, defeated, and maybe even panicked. Don’t answer their calls, texts, or DM’s, or interact with them at all if you can help it.^[10]
   
   • The more desperate they are for attention, the uglier their attempts to reach you will be.
   • Going “no contact” is a tool many controlling people use to passive-aggressively manipulate others. They’ll be thrown off by a taste of their own medicine.

[Edit]Point out their dishonesty directly.

1. It's rare for someone to call out a toxic person for their behavior. They’re used to everyone believing them or just going along with it. Be blunt and tell them, “You’ll say anything to seem right.” They’ll flail and lie again to save face, so just call them out again (“See? You just did it again!”).^[11]
   
   • This tactic is even more effective if you do it while other people are around to witness it.

[Edit]Ask them questions about their faulty logic.

1. Manipulative people often lie to protect their image or control others. A simple clarifying question directed back at them will give them pause. They’ll often do a total 180 and change opinions, ideas, or stories when they realize you’re not falling for their faulty logic.^[12] Ask them things like:
   
   • “Can you explain that timeline again? It sounds like you were in 2 places at the same time…”
   • “Did you mean to take all the credit for a team project, or was that an accident?”
   • “Are you asking me to help you with the yardwork, or just to do it all for you?”

[Edit]Shine the spotlight on someone else.

1. Egoists falter when validation is pulled out from under them. People with massive egos are usually self-absorbed because their self-esteem is secretly really low. They cling to validation and may feel threatened or confused when someone else receives recognition. So combat their need to be the center of attention by putting someone else in the spotlight. They’ll be confused when they see others getting validation that they think belongs to them.^[13] Try:
   
   • Clarifying who they have to share credit with for projects or group assignments.
   • Prompting someone to share an interesting story at a party.

[Edit]Do your best instead of letting them win.

1. People with huge egos are often bewildered when somebody beats them. It just doesn’t fit with their constructed fantasy. They discourage competition by making others feel less important, capable, valuable, skilled, or special.^[14] Put them in their place by not holding back in competition with them.
   
   • Perform at your best, whether you're playing a board game or recreational sport.
   • Take a leadership role at school, at work, or in the community.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• If their behavior hurts you, it’s important to set boundaries or distance yourself from them.

• It’s usually better to disengage a manipulative or toxic person than to try to confuse or confront them, especially if they’re abusive.
• Remember that not everyone with clinical NDP is abusive or manipulative, and many people with NPD are able to manage their behavior with therapy and/or medication.^[15]

[Edit]Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about narcissism, check out our in-depth with [v161509_b01].

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
2. ↑ [v161509_b01]. 7 August 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissistic-routines
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/202109/4-tips-saying-no-narcissist
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/peaceful-parenting/201810/how-bypass-narcissist
6. ↑ https://www.insider.com/how-to-use-gray-rock-method-narcissist-no-contact-2019-6
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/peaceful-parenting/201810/how-bypass-narcissist
8. ↑ https://upjourney.com/how-to-communicate-with-a-narcissist
9. ↑ [v161509_b01]. 7 August 2020.
10. ↑ https://upjourney.com/how-to-make-a-narcissist-fear-you
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/202002/how-humiliate-absolute-narcissist
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201705/how-talk-narcissist-about-being-narcissistic
13. ↑ https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissists-reaction-to-deficient-narcissistic-supply
14. ↑ [v161039_b01]. 6 September 2018.
15. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662