How to Manifesting a Relationship

Everything you need to know about attracting love into your life with manifestation

You’ve heard of people manifesting a new car or a raise, but did you know that manifestation works just as well for finding a relationship? Manifesting a relationship is actually a straightforward process; all you have to do is visualize exactly what you want, believe in yourself and your worthiness to find love, and make an action plan to go out there and get it. If you need some extra help, that’s okay—Keen’s Love & Relationship Advisors are always available to guide you through the process. In this article, we’ll show you exactly what to do to manifest a relationship, plus answer all your questions about how long it might take and how to tell if your efforts are working. Read on!

[Edit]Quick Steps to Manifest Love

1. Define what you’re looking for in a relationship and a partner in detail.
2. Visualize yourself in your future relationship.
3. Embody the love you want to receive.
4. Make a concrete action plan to find your future partner.
5. Stay open to new opportunities and surprises.
6. Stay optimistic to radiate more positive energy.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]How to Manifest a Relationship

1. Get clear on what you’re looking for in as much detail as possible. What does your ideal relationship look like? What traits or values does your future partner have? Get super specific about what it is you want; mindfulness exercises like meditating, journaling, or even just talking to a friend can help you clarify your thoughts and raise your self-awareness.^[1]
   
   • Focus on qualities you want instead of ones you don’t want. For example, “a partner who respects me” is more helpful and positive than “someone who’s not a jerk like my ex.”
   • Think about the values, traits, and lifestyle of your ideal partner. Do they volunteer? Do they stay active? Do they take charge in an emergency? Details like “brown hair” are fine, but these deeper qualities speak more to who that person is and how your relationship will work.
   • Don’t worry about creating the perfect list of traits. As you manifest, you can always come back and reevaluate what you want.
2. Visualize what it looks and feels like to be with your future partner. Imagine the ideal relationship you’ve described and visualize yourself with that person in great detail. What are you doing together? How does it feel to be next to them? Spend a few minutes each day relaxing with your eyes closed, imagining your future life.^[2]
   
   • Use all 5 senses for your visualization. How does your partner smell? What does it feel like to hold their hand? To kiss them?
   • If visualization doesn’t come easily to you, try making a vision board, journaling about your dream relationship, or even narrating a scene with your future partner out loud. There are even experts out there who can guide you through the visualization process, like Keen’s Spiritual Love Advisors.
   • Visualizing helps you develop and hold onto positive emotions and optimism related to your manifesting. This positive energy will attract positive outcomes!
3. Embody and radiate the love you want to attract. To find and accept the love you deserve from someone else, you need to feel it from yourself. Focus on loving yourself—pursue your passions, practice self-care, and have compassion for yourself when you feel down or insecure about a perceived flaw.^[3]
   
   • Remember that no one is perfect (not even the person you’re manifesting), so don’t let insecurities hold you back from looking for love. You’re worthy!
   • Use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem. For example, tell yourself “I’m an interesting person with a lot to offer” every morning to fight feelings of inadequacy.
   • When you feel good about yourself, it shows! Others will notice your self-assuredness, joy, and positive energy—including the potential dates and lovers you’re manifesting.
4. Make an action plan that aligns with your goal. A solid plan motivates you to get out there and do what it takes to find a relationship.^[4] Make profiles on dating apps, ask friends to set you up with potential dates, or work on striking up conversations with strangers so you have the confidence to flirt with that eye-catching person across the bar.
   
   • Make your goals specific so you can keep yourself accountable. For example, if you’re trying to go on more dates, you might set a goal of going on 2 per week.
   • Make your first step something small and manageable to boost your confidence. Maybe it’s simply to pick out a go-to first date outfit you feel attractive in to get more excited about dating.
   • You can always adjust your action plan as you find what works for you. Maybe you absolutely hate the dating apps you downloaded—it’s OK to delete them and try to meet people in other ways.
   • If you need help coming up with a plan that works, don’t worry. A Keen Advisor can work with you to create a tailored action plan that’s effective and right for your unique situation.
5. Surrender yourself to new opportunities and surprises along the way. Do your best to enjoy the manifestation process instead of fixating on the future outcome. Your future relationship aside, your efforts will also help you meet new people, try new things, and grow as a person.^[5] Say “yes” to more things and see what happens when you live in the moment; it might just be the key to finding your perfect match.
   
   • Obsessing over the outcome injects negativity into your manifestation, which can make it take longer to work.
   • When you feel frustrated, remember that the lessons you learn along the way—how to be confident, how to love yourself, and more—can be just as valuable and life changing as your future relationship.
6. Stay optimistic and believe that you’ll find your perfect match. When you truly believe you can achieve your goal of manifesting a relationship, you become more hardworking, positive, and attuned to potential matches or date opportunities. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy; knowing you’ll get what you want makes you primed and ready to go get it.^[6]
   
   • This is known as a growth or abundance mindset. When you feel positive about reaching a goal, you get more creative in how you achieve it and are more likely to attract success.
   • If you find yourself faltering, look back on all the progress you’ve made so far. Are you dating more? Feeling more confident or sure of what you want? These are all signs your efforts are paying off!

[Edit]Need Help Manifesting Love? Chat with a Keen Advisor

1. Manifesting relationships may seem daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone. Did you know that you can get personalized guidance on finding your soulmate from one of Keen’s expert Love & Relationship Advisors? Keen’s empathetic, supportive Advisors are available anytime, day or night, and sessions are 100% confidential with a satisfaction guarantee. Plus, you can get a 5-minute reading for only $1. Click here to try Keen and redeem this special offer for new customers and discover more about your love life with a personalized reading.
   

[Edit]What is manifestation and how does it work?

1. Manifestation is the process of turning your thoughts into reality. Manifesting works when you align your conscious thoughts, feelings, and actions toward achieving a goal. By shifting your priorities and mindset with your goal in mind, you open yourself up to opportunities to make your wishes come true.^[7]
   
   • This is why manifesting is closely linked to using the Law of Attraction. By radiating optimism and working for what you want, you’ll attract your desire (like a relationship) into your life.
   • The Law of Attraction and manifestation can work both ways: positive thoughts and actions will bring positive results, while negative thoughts will lead to negative outcomes.
   • Taking aligned action is crucial to manifesting. Manifestation is not magic and isn’t as likely to work without some genuine effort to get what you want.

[Edit]Can you manifest a specific person?

1. Yes, you can manifest a specific individual—but it’s not always wise. If you’re infatuated with someone, it’s natural to want to be in a relationship with them. However, remember that they have free will and their own desires, energy, or goals in life may not match up with yours. You may also be seeing them through rose-tinted glasses; once you’re dating, you may realize they’re not as good of a fit for you as you thought.^[8]
   
   • Manifesting a specific person doesn’t violate their free will or give you bad karma. They can make their own choices, and they wouldn’t pursue or go on a date with you if they didn’t want to on some level.
   • Instead of manifesting the person, try manifesting someone who has the qualities of that person you’re attracted to—it may end up being them!
   • For example, if you’re attracted to someone for their great sense of humor and compassion, add those traits to your list of ideal characteristics for your partner. As you manifest, that specific person may enter your romantic life, or someone who has similar lovable qualities will.

[Edit]How long does it take to manifest a relationship?

1. There’s no exact timeline for when your relationship will find you. Some people may find a partner in just a few weeks, while others may need several months or longer to find their ideal relationship. It all depends on what you’re looking for, how actively you’re pursuing it, and how long it takes to truly believe you’re worthy of love and to invite it into your life.
   
   • For example, if you’re still hung up on an ex or feeling insecure, you may not find a meaningful relationship very quickly no matter how many dates you go on.
   • On the other hand, jumping into the dating pool with confidence, optimism, and a specific intention to find a loving partner will yield faster results.
   • Once you set your sights on love and align your thoughts and actions with it, your relationship could manifest at any time. Keep your eyes open and your heart full!
2. Reexamine your goals and intentions if it feels like it’s taking too long. Patience is a virtue when it comes to manifesting, but if your intuition tells you things aren’t progressing like they should, you might just be trying to manifest the wrong thing at the wrong time. If you find yourself feeling stuck, a Keen Advisor can help you identify and overcome common roadblocks, like:
   
   • Not quite being ready for a relationship. Maybe you’re still rebuilding your confidence after a breakup or struggling with a fear of commitment. Identify and address what’s holding you back to align your inner thoughts and feelings with your goal of finding love.
   • Manifesting the wrong person for you. Are you trying to get back with an ex who treated you poorly? Maybe you’re looking for the type of person you’re expected to be with and not who you truly want. Revisit your list of ideal traits in a partner and make some changes to reorient yourself toward someone who will love and support you.
   • Your perfect partner not being available yet. Maybe they’re in another relationship or live on the other side of the country right now. Don’t give up hope! Stay optimistic and trust that your genuine effort will attract the love of your life at the perfect moment for you both.

[Edit]Signs Your Manifestation Is Working

1. {endbold}It may be tricky to tell whether your efforts are paying off while you work on manifesting a relationship. Every person’s journey is different, but here are some common signs that your hard work and positivity will bring you love and fulfillment:
   
   • You’re meeting and dating people who you like and might be a fit for you, even if a relationship never materializes. This is a hint you’re on the right path.
   • You start feeling the love you crave before you even meet your person. This love and support might come from friends, family, or even yourself. Once you feel it, you can attract it!
   • You’re being “tested” by exes or old, bad habits. The universe is checking if you’ve grown and are ready for your true love. Stay strong and prove you won’t revert back to your old ways.
   • You just have a “gut feeling.” You feel optimistic, positive, or a general sense of peace. You’re not worried about finding a relationship because you know that it’s coming.^[9]
   • You know what to do next. Consciously or subconsciously, you know who to talk to, where to go, or what to accomplish in order to find your person.
   • Negative things disappear and new opportunities arise. Draining people, habits, or feelings (like insecurity or a pesky ex) fade from your life while new chances for a relationship (like being asked out or passing a sign for a singles mixer) start popping up everywhere.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202009/what-is-manifestation-science-based-ways-to-manifest
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202009/what-is-manifestation-science-based-ways-to-manifest
3. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/how-to-manifest.html
4. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/how-to-manifest.html
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-pleasure/202101/how-to-manifest-what-you-want-the-practical-way
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202009/what-is-manifestation-science-based-ways-to-manifest
7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/what-is-law-of-attraction-loa/
8. ↑ https://www.throughthephases.com/manifesting-a-specific-person/
9. ↑ https://ideapod.com/signs-youre-manifesting-is-working/

How to Starbucks Hacks

Indulge on a budget with these insider Starbucks tips

What can you say? Starbucks is your obsession, and while you may love it, your wallet sure doesn’t. If your love for Starbucks is draining your bank account, have no fear—there are tons of ways you can save money at Starbucks without sacrificing your daily caffeine kick. Take a look at these money-saving hacks and tricks to learn how to get free stuff at Starbucks.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Sign up for Starbucks' rewards program.

1. Use the Starbucks app for each purchase to earn Stars. The best way to save money at Starbucks is to become a loyal user of their app. You can earn points or Stars when you make an account and sign up for their rewards program. Every purchase earns you more Stars, eventually leading to free drinks, food, and more.^[1]
   
   • You’ll earn 1 Star for every dollar.
   • Once you earn 25 Stars, you can start cashing in those freebies!
   • The Starbucks app occasionally has seasonal games and sweepstakes that can help you earn extra Stars, so keep an eye out for those.
   • Forget to use the app to make your purchase? No worries! Scan your Starbucks receipt in the app to make sure you get your Stars.

[Edit]Earn a free drink or food item on your birthday.

1. Sign up for the Starbucks rewards program for free birthday goodies. Once you become a Starbucks rewards member, the discounts and benefits just roll in! These include a free drink or food item on your birthday. Simply keep an eye on your email or the app on your special day. Then, head to a Starbucks to cash in your free gift.^[2]
   
   • This reward must be used within 7 days of your birthday.

[Edit]Get free in-store drip coffee and tea refills.

1. Use your Starbucks account to get free refills. You may be eligible for unlimited free refills if you order a brewed coffee or tea in-store. Simply order your beverage, drink it at your leisure in-store, and then head back to the counter and ask the barista for a refill (just be prepared to show them your rewards account).^[3]
   
   • This hack only works for plain drip coffees and teas. It doesn’t apply to iced tea lemonades, cold brews, or blended beverages (like Frappuccinos).
   • Try this hack the next time you visit a Starbucks inside a Target. Do your shopping, and then get a free drink refill on your way out!
   • Keep in mind that refills aren’t offered in every store.
   • Similarly, you can order French press coffee (if your location offers it) and drink it in-store.

[Edit]Bring your own cup.

1. Save $0.10 and get bonus rewards with a cup of your choice. Starbucks encourages their customers to bring their own cups to fill up. Why? Because it saves the environment and saves you money! By bringing your own reusable cup, you’ll get a $0.10 discount and earn 25 extra Stars.^[4]
   
   • You’ll be charged for the closest cup size to your cup.
   • This hack can be used once per transaction and up to 3 times a day.

[Edit]Take advantage of happy hour.

1. Turn on notifications for the Starbucks app so you never miss deals. Every few weeks, Starbucks hosts a happy hour event for loyal customers.^[5] BOGO drinks are typically offered to reward members on Thursdays from 2 to 7 p.m.
   

[Edit]Ask for light ice.

1. Get more coffee for your buck with less ice. More often than not, Starbucks likes to fill their cups over halfway with ice. This means you’re typically getting more ice than beverage in iced drinks. To avoid this, ask for light ice while ordering in-store or with the app.^[6]
   

[Edit]Order a venti to share.

1. Split a coffee with a friend and save $1. A 24-ounce venti latte costs around $4.95; a 12-ounce tall latte costs around $3.95. To save money, order a venti drink of your choice and ask the barista to split it into 2 tall cups. This way, you’ll have 2 12-ounce drinks for the price of 1 drink.^[7]
   
   • This hack can only be done in-store, as the app doesn’t give you the option to split a drink.

[Edit]Ask for 2 tea bags.

1. Order a second tea bag for free. When you order a hot tea at Starbucks, the barista typically gives you 1 tea bag; however, you can ask for a second one to make a stronger brew. Request the same tea bag twice, or try mixing 2 tea flavors to make your own delicious concoction.
   
   • Consider asking for the second tea bag on the side. This way, you can steep a second cup later.

[Edit]Order whipped cream instead of cold foam.

1. Get a small discount by swapping cold foam with whipped cream. While cold foam is delicious, it can get rather expensive. Starbucks charges around $2 for additional cold foam, whereas whipped cream is free. Consider ditching the foam for whip. After all, they’re both tasty and have similar consistencies!^[8]
   

[Edit]Ask for no water in iced tea.

1. Avoid diluted tea by ordering iced tea without water. Starbucks pre-makes their teas, diluting them with water once ordered. For a stronger tea and more bang for your buck, ask for an iced tea with no water. This way, you’ll get the original premade tea rather than the watered-down version.
   

[Edit]Order a cup of water rather than a bottle.

1. Ditch bottled water for a cup of ice water. Water bottles can cost up to $3 at Starbucks, whereas a cup of ice water is completely free. So, the next time you need some H2O, ditch the plastic bottle and ask the barista for some ice water.^[9]
   

[Edit]Get Chai Tea with bags instead of concentrate.

1. Save $2 by ordering a simple Chai Tea over a Latte. There are 2 types of chai available at Starbucks: Chai Tea and Chai Lattes. Chai Tea Lattes cost around $6 and are made with milk and concentrate; meanwhile, Chai Teas are around $4 and are made with water and tea bags. Believe it or not, ordering a regular Chai Tea with a splash of milk is cheaper than getting a Chai Tea Latte (plus, they taste very similar).
   

[Edit]Order a Blended Iced Mocha over a Mocha Frappuccino.

1. Save $1 with a dupe drink. A Blended Iced Mocha and Mocha Frappuccino are almost the same thing. The only difference between them? How fine the ice is. Frappuccinos have finer ice and cost around $6, while blended iced drinks are about $5. If you don’t mind a slushier consistency, consider ordering a blended drink over a Frappuccino to save a buck.
   

[Edit]Order a Puppuccino for your dog.

1. Give your pup a sweet, free treat of whipped cream. Puppuccinos (or small cups of whipped cream) are free at Starbucks. Order a Puppuccino along with your drink so your dog can have a treat as well.^[10]
   

[Edit]Check for Uber Eats discounts.

1. Get $5 off your order using Uber Eats. If you order Starbucks delivery through Uber Eats, you may be eligible for a $5 discount. Use the code COFFEE4U at checkout, and check the app regularly for Uber Eats-specific sales and offerings.
   
   • Uber Eats regularly runs promotions for new-time users or free delivery. To find even more coupons, search “Uber Eats discounts” online.

[Edit]Consider working at Starbucks.

1. Starbucks employees get free food and drinks. If you’re an avid Starbucks customer looking for a job, becoming a barista may be the perfect hack for you! Not only will you get to learn the ins and outs of making your favorite drinks, but you’ll also earn free drinks before and after your shifts.^[11]
   
   • Starbucks employees also receive a 30% discount on their days off and 1 free pound of coffee beans or box of tea per week.
   • As another bonus, employees can also apply for the Starbucks College Achievement Plan and earn free tuition.^[12]

[Edit]Tips

• Looking for fun and interesting drinks to try? Consider ordering off of the Starbucks Secret Menu.
• Save even more money by making your coffee at home.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.starbucks.com/rewards
2. ↑ https://www.starbucks.com/rewards
3. ↑ https://customerservice.starbucks.com/sbux?id=topics&article=KB0011481
4. ↑ https://customerservice.starbucks.com/sbux?id=topics&article=KB0010820
5. ↑ https://stories.starbucks.com/press/2018/happy-hour-2018-returns-to-starbucks/
6. ↑ https://www.savethestudent.org/save-money/food-drink/free-starbucks-secret-hacks.html
7. ↑ https://www.ramseysolutions.com/budgeting/starbucks-money-hacks
8. ↑ https://www.tastingtable.com/1312799/tricks-save-some-money-starbucks/
9. ↑ https://www.savethestudent.org/save-money/food-drink/free-starbucks-secret-hacks.html
10. ↑ https://www.thepennyhoarder.com/save-money/starbucks-hacks/
11. ↑ https://www.starbucks.com/careers/working-at-starbucks/benefits-and-perks/
12. ↑ https://starbucks.asu.edu

How to Be Likable

Even though everyone is entitled to their own personality and self-expression, there are basic steps that everyone can take to improve relationships with those around you. Making a better impression on those around you and developing a stronger reputation can go a long way in networking, career development and socialization.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Being Likable in Everyday Conversation

1. Be respectful and polite to everyone you meet. This means your friends, complete strangers and, most importantly, yourself! If you act judgmental or with a dismissive attitude towards other people, they will most likely return the same negative feelings towards you. Making others feel welcomed and appreciated will go a long way towards your success in making friends.^[1]
   
   • Interact with strangers nicely and calmly, request favors patiently, respond to others promptly and remember your pleases and thank-you's.
   • Remember that everyone you're interacting with is human, too. Just because you're paying someone to wait on your table doesn't give you the right to be rude; treat them like you'd want to be treated if you were in their position.
     • As J.K. Rowling put it, "It's easier to see what someone is really like by how they treat their inferiors, not their equals."
2. Be confident. People like to be around others who are sure of themselves without being arrogant. Be confident in who you are without constantly stepping on others' toes. A healthy level of confidence is knowing you're pretty great, but that there's always someone better than you.^[2]
   
   • If you always criticize yourself and seem to be unhappy with who you are, you run the risk of people feeling the same way about you. After all, if you aren't pleased with yourself, why should others be?
   • The other side of the coin is just as bad -- too cocky and people will think you like yourself so much that no one else needs to. The aim is contentment, not excessive pride.
3. Be honest, but do so gently. It is particularly important to be honest to your friends and people who solicit you for advice. Usually, people can tell when someone is lying and fake; insincere people are not well-liked. People you want to be around should not tolerate liars.
   
   • When someone asks, "Does this make me look fat?" (yes, it's a cliché, but it's a classic example), make your comments gently, framed in a way that is unlikely to upset them. If you know your fashion, tell them WHY. They're sure to trust you knowing that you were honest and appreciate that you're helping them.
   • It is a trickier idea to be brutally honest with someone who does not solicit your advice. Bringing up a comment like that can either generate appreciative responses or offended looks, depending on the person's personality, so judge the situation at your own risk. You should probably avoid initiating negative comments, no matter how truthful, with people whom you are not closely acquainted or good friends with.
4. Listen. There is not a single person on this planet who feels like they receive too much attention (a single person not constantly followed by paparazzi at least). When we humans engage in conversation, most of us are looking for someone to be genuinely interested in what we have to say -- the input of the other is secondary. Don't think you're being boring! You're letting the other person feel good about themselves.^[3]
   
   • It's important to listen actively, though. If someone is going on and on about the most effective way to wash their dog, glazing over, while tempting, is not being a good listener. Try to engage your entire self at all times -- your eyes, the nodding of your head, commenting and questioning, and the positioning of your body -- it should all be focused on them.
5. Ask questions. A huge part of being a good conversationalist (and when you're listening) is asking questions. A social jiu-jitsu master has someone walking away after a conversation feeling good and not realizing they didn't learn a dang thing about the other person because they were talking so much. Be that person. Ask who, why, or how. The other will feel appreciated, liked, and go on a spiel that takes the pressure off you. And they'll like you for it.^[4]
   
   • Keep everything open-ended. If Jill from the office says, "God, I just spend hours on this freakin' Powerpoint," jump in! Ask her what it was for, why it took longer than normal, or how she did the research. Even a bias topic like a Powerpoint can start a good conversation where Jill feels paid attention to.
6. Use their name. One of the tenants of Dale Carnegie's massively successfully "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is to use a person's name in conversation. Hearing our own name activates a region in our brains that remains dormant at any other sound^[5] and we love it. Our names are our identity and conversing with someone who uses it makes us feel like our identity is acknowledged. So the next time you're speaking to that acquaintance, slip their name in. Odds are they'll feel a bond to you that may not exist otherwise.
   
   • This is fairly easy to do. The most obvious way is to add it on to your greeting. "Hey, Rob, how are you?" is much more personal than, "Hey, how are you?" And if you're close enough to Rob to say, "Hey, Rockin' Robby D! How are you, man?" that works, too. Apart from greetings, it can be inserted casually just about anywhere. Initiating a conversation -- "What do you think of this for my desktop, Rob?" -- or just as a comment, "Rob, you're being ridiculous again." Rob will practically feel like your best friend.
7. Know your audience. Odds are you know people from a few different social groups. Getting the Plastics at high school to like you (if they're capable of actually liking people) is a much different path than getting your engineering classmates at Harvard to call you up on a Friday night. So know who you're dealing with. What do they like? What do they seem to value? What interests them?
   
   • If you want to be genuinely liked (being popular and being liked are not the same thing), you're in luck: generally, humans all like the same qualities. And no, wealth and attractiveness aren't high up on the list. Trustworthiness, honesty, warmth and kindness are, in a recent study, the highest rated, most valued qualities (across the board of relationships), while extraversion, intelligence and sense of humor come in close behind.^[6]
8. Recognize reciprocation. You can ask all the questions you want, be super polite, say all the right things, and sometimes people still won't be having it. If every time you walk up to Johnny he miraculously gets a phone call, take the hint. Spend your resources elsewhere. This will happen -- there's no pleasing everyone. While it's very important to put in effort, put it in where it's due.
   
   • Relationships are a give and take. If you're constantly the one making the effort, sending the texts, going out of your way to be nice and friendly, take a look at the situation. If there's an explanation (the person is going through a hard time, they work 60 hours a week, etc.), then you may have to do the brunt of the work. But if they're responsive to other people but don't seem to have the time for you, go elsewhere. You can't be friends with everyone.
9. Make them laugh. Everyone and their brother appreciates the person who can ease the tension in the room and make them laugh. A good sense of humor can go a long, long way. When people know you're playful and looking to have a good time, they want to join in. It's also a great way to be approachable because people know what to say (they want to be liked just as much as you do) -- they can joke with you, too! Win, win, win.
   
   • If once in a while people have to laugh at you, great! If you can laugh too, you're good to go. That shows you're down-to-earth and not overly concerned with your image -- two very good things. And research even shows that embarrassing yourself makes people like and trust you more -- you become a real person. Makes sense, doesn't it?

[Edit]Mastering Likeable Body Language

1. Remember to smile! You emanate a good vibe with this simple gesture, and you can improve the mood of everyone around you. Even if you don't feel particularly joyous or are stuck in a mood slump, the voluntary action of your muscles turning up into a smile can sometimes trigger feelings of lightheartedness and happiness.
   
   • Think of happy thoughts or past moments that did make you grin to help trigger a genuine smile. If nothing else, people will be wondering what the heck you're smiling about!
   • It takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile -- and for good reason! Everyone should be smiling more often than frowning.
2. Open up. The fact of the matter is that everyone wants to be liked. Everyone. It's simple logic -- the more liked you are, the easier life is. Because everyone's fighting the same battle you are, help them out a little. Be approachable (when you're not doing the approaching yourself -- which you may have to do). Smile, uncross your arms, and set down your phone. The world is in front of you. What will come to you if you let it?^[7]
   
   • Think about the people you want to be friends with. Odds are an adjective you wouldn't use to describe them is "surly." If you want to pull your half of the weight in making a friend, be sure your vibe is welcoming. Keep your body relaxed, seem engaged in your environment, and notice people. Half the battle, really.
3. Make eye contact. Have you ever been talking to someone and their eyes seem to wander around the room to everything but you? That's a pretty crappy feeling -- as soon as you notice it, it's tempting to just shut up then and there and see if they snap out of it. Don't be that guy. If someone is saying something offhand, it's fine to lapse (you don't want to start a staring contest), but if they really care about the topic at hand, give them your attention. You'd want it, too!
   
   • Some people have issues with eye contact -- they just can't really do it. If this is you, try tricking yourself and looking at the bridge of their nose or their eyebrows. People tend to get a little disconcerted when you don't look at them, so trick them and trick you by staying in the vicinity of their orbital bones.
4. Mirror them. A known way of subconsciously increasing rapport between two parties is mirroring or mimicry -- where both end up with the same stance, facial expression, weight distribution, overall body position, etc. Consider toying with this when you're in conversation -- a perceived "sameness" can go a long way. However, as it's supposed to be subconscious, don't mess with it too much -- you could become preoccupied!
   
   • This is generally good when working with peers -- not when you're working with superiors. Recent research has said that the adverse effect can take place -- feelings of coldness, etc. -- when the two subjects aren't in an appropriate scenario (dealing with money, job issues, and so forth).^[8] So keep it to that group of friends you want to get closer to and not your boss.
5. Show deference. Odds are at some point in your lifetime someone stressed the importance of keeping your shoulders back, your head high, and having a firm handshake. While these definitely have their place (like a job interview), making friends and getting people to like you isn't exactly the place for it. Your body should be relaxed, not squared off. Show that you're not challenging the other person.
   
   • Think of greeting someone. In that video where Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela meet (two people that have the right to think they're each a pretty big deal), both show deference -- a slight lean-in and step forward, using the free arm for extra touch, smiling.^[9] They're conveying that they respect and like the other -- which goes a long way to being liked in return.
6. Use the power of touch. Humans need other humans to survive and, of course, be happy. Babies that aren't touched enough don't thrive. That doesn't exactly go away in adulthood! If you want to form a more concrete bond with someone, find small opportunities for touch. Appropriate touch, of course! A brush of the arm or shoulder or even a high-five. Those small moments get turned into connections when touch is added.
   
   • Think of someone walking up to you and saying, "Hi! How are you?" Now imagine that same person walking up to you and saying, "[Your name]! How are you?" and lightly touching your arm as they pass. Which greeting left you feeling a bit warmer on the inside? Probably the second one, huh? Use that. It doesn't cost a thing.

[Edit]Thinking the Part

1. Like people. Straight up, the easiest way to get someone to like you is to like them. Not exactly rocket science, is it? Surely you've been around someone who just didn't seem to give a hoot about whether you were there or not. And you've probably been around the opposite too -- people who make you feel appreciated and are quite clearly glad you're there. Which do you like more, even if you can't explain it?
   
   • You can't expect people to like you if you can't say the same for yourself. Odds are you do like the people you want to like you (why else would you care?) so make it clear! Smile when they walk in the room. Make conversation. Comment on a detail they mentioned last Wednesday to show you were listening. The little things will tune them into your genuineness.
2. Be positive. Everyone wants to be around the person that has that sunny disposition that lights up the entire room. And the opposite rings true -- no one wants to be around Debbie Downer. To get people to like you, be positive. That means smiling, being enthusiastic, happy, and looking on the bright side. You probably know someone like this who you can emulate.
   
   • This is very much so a 24/7 thing. It's gonna be hard to be positive in front of people when you're negative by yourself. You have to train your brain to have certain habits -- positivity being one of them. Try to always think positive even when you're alone; that way it can become old hat in no time.
   • Know when to commiserate. There is a certain level of bonding that can be had over group complaining. Talking to your coworkers about how terrible the new boss is will foster friendship -- but if it's all you do, you'll be associated with negativity. Use the complaining sparingly and use it only to relate -- not to spark conversation or turn it around.
3. Think of your unique strengths and explore opportunities for showcasing them. What talent or trait do friends admire in you? Show them to the world! People are naturally drawn to those with passions and abilities. It makes us useful, valuable, and interesting. Whatever it is, wear your flag proudly.
   
   • If you are a good singer, get up on karaoke night and entertain the room. A good baker? Bring a treat to the office. A painter? Invite a group to your showing or simply hang something in the communal area. Let people see your personality to get to know you a bit better.
4. Most importantly, remember to be yourself. It's impossible to get everyone to like you -- differing personalities will inevitably result in some clash at some point of your life -- but you will earn the admiration of those who are compatible with you and those who matter.
   
   • People like others who come off as sincere and genuine, so avoid taking steps to change so far that you are uncomfortable with your actions. Faking anything may be a red flag to those who are tuned in. Mean everything you say and do. If you want people to like you, you'll have good intentions and be fine.
5. Know that others are only momentarily impressed by the superficial. They sincerely like the genuine. So while that Coach purse or those six-pack abs might get you a fan or two, it won't be that meaningful and it certainly won't last. It's tempting to think being attractive will make people like you -- and it will, but only to a point. You need the goods to back it up. If people find out you're a lying scumbag, they'll drop you like a sack of potatoes regardless of what you look like.
   
   • In a recent study, people were asked what qualities they thought others looked for in friends and relationships. Money, appearance, and status were pretty high up there. But when they were asked what they valued, they answered with things like honest, warmth, and kindness. Society tells us (wrongfully so) that looks and money are more important than anything else and deep down we know it's not true.^[10] If you want people to actually like you, worry about the inside of your book, not the cover.
     • That being said, it's important to be hygienic. People won't likely give you the time of day if you smell like you're fresh off the manure farm. Even if you have the personality of Mother Theresa and Bill Cosby's lovechild, you'll probably be given the cold shoulder. So take a shower, brush your teeth, look in the mirror before you leave, and then go out there with a smile.
6. Recognize that you'll feel vulnerable. Wanting to be liked puts you at the mercy of everyone else. Going outside of your box to get this accomplished will make you feel a bit uneasy. The actions you undertake will feel scary. This is good. This is challenging. This promotes growth. As long as you still feel you're being yourself, you're only building on your character, improving it. It may be scary, but it'll be worth it.
   
   • There's a difference between wanting people to like you and needing to be liked in order to be happy. Your self-image should not be based on the approval of others; that will leave you hurting in no time. But if you are comfortable with yourself and just want to be well-received, that's respectable. People will see that and respond. That scare-factor will go away with time.
7. Control your insecurities. Most people are turned off by people who can't turn off their insecurities. Saying something like, "It's okay...it's good enough for me" or constantly commenting on how fat or ugly you are gives off the red light that you don't like you. That personal negativity isn't becoming on anyone. So leave it at the door. It's not good for you and it's not good for your friendships.
   
   • Insecurities are what we call the feelings we get and the behavior we display when we're uncomfortable with ourselves. If you're uncomfortable with yourself, it puts a damper on the entire room and plenty of people aren't going to deal with that. Don't worry about coming off as humble or arrogant. Say things like they are. You have worth. We all do.
8. Know that you can control your thoughts. Negativity can be learned and unlearned; no one says, "Gosh, my baby is just so negative. If positivity is an issue for you, luckily you're the only one who can change it! Your brain is plastic and it can be trained. You just gotta buckle down and do it.
   
   • The simplest way to start is to stop. Stop the negativity in its track. When you catch yourself thinking something bad about yourself, don't finish the thought. Replace it with something a little more realistic and positive. You'll feel better, too. Turn "I'm so fat" into "I'd like to lose a little weight. How might I go about doing that?" and a new train of thought will start. So get on board.
9. Be unconcerned with others' preconceived ideas. We've covered how confidence is a very, very likeable trait, and being unconcerned with how you present yourself goes along those same lines. When you start self-presenting, people will notice. Think of the guy at the party who's "peacocking." He's trying to strut his machismo for the entire room to notice. It's not attractive. It's disingenuous and, quite frankly, it's sad; he doesn't think who he naturally is is good enough. Don't be that guy.
   
   • Whether you're a dork or a hipster or a jock, it doesn't matter. If people have the idea that your penchant for sparkly nail polish means you're an idiot, let 'em be wrong. If they think your veganism makes you a liberal loony toon, great. Hilarious even. People are gonna judge you -- let 'em. They can think what they want. It shouldn't have any effect on you.

[Edit]Adopting Likable Habits

1. Be warm and kind. You know why shy people get a bad rap? Because people mistake their shyness for being cold and aloof. Those are two qualities that really intimidate people and turn them off. So be the opposite! Being warm and kind are highly valued in any society -- it shows you have the other person's interests in mind and want the best for them. Who wouldn't like that?
   
   • Initiate random acts of kindness. Do things for other people, even if you don't know them. Hold a door when going in or out of a building, pick something up for a stranger when they drop it, and offer to take a picture for a group who looks like they're trying to take one. This type of selfless giving inspires others to do the same in return -- not just for you, but for others in their life as well.
2. Be extroverted...to a point. Generally speaking, people value a certain level of extroversion. It makes sense: we all want conversation and being social to be easy and extroverts lessen the risk of awkwardness. If you sit mutely at the table not contributing, well, you might as well be somewhere else. Chime in! Let your voice be heard. How else will people find out you're valuable?
   
   • However, if you know you're guilty of not being able to put a lid on it, so to speak, you may want to tone it down. While everyone likes a good conversationalist, they are not looking to spend their time with someone who won't let them get a word in edgewise. If the last 5 points that were made were yours, back off a bit. The other person might not be the type that will jump in; they may need an invitation. Ask them their opinions to share the spotlight with you.
3. Don't be a suck up. People like likable people, not people who are dying to be liked. If you're constantly complimenting them and following them around like a puppy dog, you won't get what you want. As much as you're being nice, you'll be viewed as a pesky gnat that needs to get swatted away. Avoid being the clingy, needy one.
   
   • If you stay attentive, you'll be able to see the clues. If someone doesn't return your calls, engages in niceties only, doesn't make much of an effort -- and you're constantly hounding them to hang out, you might be a suck up. While you have good intentions, being desperate isn't attractive. Back off and see if they come around.
4. Ask for favors. If you've ever heard of the Benjamin Franklin effect, you'll know where this is going. Turns out we often take cues from our own behavior to determine how we think. If you do something nice for someone, you'll like them more. If you hurt someone, you'll like them less. It's all about cognitive dissonance.^[11] So ask for a favor -- if the other person does it for you, they may end up liking you more.
   
   • The idea here is that we subconsciously look at our behavior and ask ourselves why we did it. Why did we loan that acquaintance of ours our favorite coffee mug? Well, gee...must be because we like them. Light bulb! Funnily enough, deciding we like someone is no different than actually liking them.
5. Keep your promises. Make sure you can follow through on all your commitments. They're called "commitments" because you've committed to making the effort for that task or event, so don't back out last-minute. If breaking a commitment is unavoidable, let everyone else involved know as soon as you are aware that you cannot make it. It may still be annoying to the other parties, but at least they expect it and can adjust their schedules as necessary.
   
   • Whether it's making it to dinner or finishing up a project, it's important to keep your friends and co-workers in the loop about your progress. Whether it's a quick email to say everything's on track or a note apologizing for unexpected delays, people appreciate communication. Not knowing what's going on can be extremely frustrating, even if the project is ultimately completed on time and in top-notch quality.
6. Stand up for your beliefs without preaching them. To be liked you gotta have personality. No one would argue with that. Part of having personality is having beliefs, opinions, and standards. Express those! They're part of you. They liven up the room. If we all had the same ones, life would be incredibly boring. Chip in your two cents. It could spark something interesting.
   
   • Standing up for your beliefs is one thing; preaching them is another. If you don't agree with someone's stance on a topic, great! Explore it. Talk about it. Have an intellectual discussion on your opposing viewpoints. You two will both learn something. Instead of shutting them down, telling them they're wrong, and preaching your own ideas, open your mind and try to see their point of view. Maybe you'll realize something, too.
7. Know that it's more important to keep people happy than anything else. People are sensitive creatures. If someone you know starts spouting off about how the Easter Bunny is the long lost son of Jesus Christ and you really want them to like you, don't make a scene about how they must be inbred. Let them be. The same thing goes if someone says something like, "I really think my best quality is how amazingly down-to-earth I am. I mean, all my actions are humble and selfless." That's not an opportunity to call them out on their raging arrogance and lack of self-awareness.
   
   • Again, it's only if you want to be liked by these people. After enough comments on how great a person is, you're totally entitled to lose your cool. But if you're still new to the person/group, it's sometimes best to just go with the flow.
8. Give compliments. Everyone looks for reaffirmation. We want to be told we're good-looking, smart, funny, have it going on, etc. We can barely be told it enough. So when that one person comes up and says something positive about us, it can make our day. Think of this: some people go their entire lives without hearing anything positive about them. Change that. It'll take two seconds of your time.
   
   • Be genuine. Don't walk up to someone and tell them you like their khaki pants. Make it meaningful. Make it something about them. It can be something as simple as "that's a great idea." Often the smaller ones are more thoughtful (and more believable). "You're hilarious" after a joke or "that article you wrote was really insightful; it really got me thinking." Whatever you say, mean it. You'll probably get something back.
9. Make the effort. Most people aren't social butterflies. We'd love some attention, but we don't really know how to go about getting it. We all feel vulnerable in social situations and we all want to minimize that. Recognizing that everyone else is in the same boat you are will help you realize that making the effort isn't an odd thing -- it's just the brave thing. Everyone else wants to, they're just complacent. If there's someone you'd like to be friends with, start talking to them. It could be just the thing they were waiting for.
   
   • It's impossible to be liked if you're not really a factor at all. Often we feel like we're not liked when really, people don't have feelings one way or another -- and that's because we haven't put ourselves out there. Next time you're in a group of people you'd like to feel liked with, show your personality. Make the effort to fill a role in the group. Crack a joke, a smile, initiate a simple conversation. It'll springboard from there.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Likable people are people who like people. People will sense if you like them. If you want someone to like you, focus on something that you like about them. If you really don't like them... perhaps it is not important that they like you.
• Don't brag. Braggarts are unappealing. It doesn't make you look better; it makes you look like you're looking for applause. That's not endearing.
• Say hi and remember that your not the only one trying to become likable too and being more likable makes you one step closer to becoming popular.
• Be positive and unassuming in your interactions. Instead of, "Don't you know how to swim?" you should say "Do you know how to swim?" Even though it is very small, it will have an effect on whether people like you.
• Don’t overdo it. People will think your faking nice and therefore you won’t be likeable. Act enthusiastic but not too much.
• Focus on their interests more than your own. Ask about their school, talent, job, etc. and try to only bring up your own if necessary. People find others like that to be more friendly and interested in others.
• Dress the part. Don't hide behind your clothes or your hair. Wear clothes that fit you well and, if possible, add some color to your wardrobe. Giving some thought to how you look on the outside will help you feel better on the inside.
• A very easy tip for getting a particular person to like you - ask for their help on something. Try to find a request that incorporates their skills or interests. It will show not only that you pay attention to them, but that you respect their authority on the subject that interests them.
• Be open. If you look sad or angry, people will perceive that on some level and won't want to talk to you. Even if you are sad or angry, think about all the reasons you should be happy in a public situation, and try to save those heavy emotions for a more private time with close friends and family.
• Be genuine, for instance meaningful compliments. This will make the person feel appreciated and compassionate about you because you took the time to notice them.

[Edit]Warnings

• Remember that it is neither possible nor desirable to get everyone to like you! There are always people you will upset and who will upset you, rightly or wrongly. Know when to let things go and to be respectful and mature about the conflict. Don't beat yourself up over these occurrences, and stay confident in yourself.
• Don't be a social climber or make it obvious that you are desperate to befriend people. Others can tell and it is a major turn-off.
• Even if you notice things that you should change about yourself, don't forget to still be proud of yourself. Your core personality is amazing and something to be unabashed about showing, and there are little things everyone can improve on.
• Do not try to expressly convince others to like you. Listing your positive attributes will make you come off as arrogant. Let others see your greatness in their own time.
• Don't be fake. People will see the lapses in your manners and understand that you're putting on an act. You have to believe what you're doing, otherwise it reflects even worse on you. First impressions are important, however, and it might feel "fake" to act like you care about this new, random person in your life when you don't. Good rule of thumb: Just treat them as you would want to be treated.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Be Nice
• Be Less Whiny
• Be Cheerful
• Be Sincere
• Be Honest Without Being Harsh

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161851_b01]. 13 July 2021.
2. ↑ [v161851_b01]. 13 July 2021.
3. ↑ [v161851_b01]. 13 July 2021.
4. ↑ [v161851_b01]. 13 July 2021.
5. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1647299/
6. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/roger-covin/likeable_b_901191.html
7. ↑ [v161851_b01]. 13 July 2021.
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-words/201209/mimicry-and-mirroring-can-be-good-or-bad
9. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzmkt7MtL64
10. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/roger-covin/likeable_b_901191.html
11. ↑ https://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/10/05/the-benjamin-franklin-effect/