How to Be at Peace

Is feeling truly peaceful a pipe dream? Nope! With a little work, you can feel calm, cool, and collected (just like you deserve to). Happiness is on the horizon, and we're here to show you what to do. From letting go of negativity, to relaxing through expert-proven techniques, read on to learn how you can find inner peace.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Releasing Negative Feelings

1. Release what you cannot control.^[1] This is the most important part of feeling at peace and the first place you should always start.^[2] 90% of the time, when we're worried about something or stressed out, the source of our angst is really something that we have no control over. All you can do in life is to try your best and then let fate take its course. If you can't affect the outcome then there is no point in worrying about something.^[3]
   
   • This is tough to do, of course, and will take some practice.
   • Mostly you just need to remind yourself to let go, but you can also do exercises by distracting yourself with other tasks while you wait out the thing that's making you upset.^[4]
   • Remember that the behavior of other people is one of the biggest things that is outside of our control.
2. Find the humanity in all people. When other people make us angry, it is usually because we cannot understand why they're doing something that's making us angry. Instead of blowing up at someone or stressing yourself out, try to see things from their side of the table. Think about why they did what they did...and remember that we're all people with our own problems and our own dreams.^[5]
   
   • For example, your husband may drive you crazy when he forgets to do the dishes. However, he doesn't forget them to be mean to you....forgetfulness is probably just a part of who he is, just like how you snore.
3. Forgive yourself. A huge source of worry in our lives comes from when we beat ourselves up.^[6] We really can be our own worst bully. Maybe you feel bad about forgetting to write a paper or maybe you're worried you said the wrong thing to your friend. No matter what you did, it's important to remember that you can't go back in time. Beating yourself up over something you can't change won't make things any better. All you can do is work to make the future better and improve yourself with time...which is something that everyone has to do.^[7]
   
   • Remember, to err is human!
4. Forgive those who have wronged you.^[8] Just like you have to forgive yourself, you have to forgive other people too. For most of the same reasons even! Remember: this means truly forgiving them.^[9] Don't be passive aggressive or find ways to punish them later. Just let it go and find ways to work better together in the future!^[10]
   
5. Accept the transient nature of life. Everything is temporary in life. The only things that are eternal are the rising and setting of the sun. You have to remember this in all things that you do. Embrace the things you love and enjoy them while you can. Wait for the passing of difficult times. When we die, we don't take any of these trappings of life with us, so make sure that it's your soul that's fulfilled and let the rest of it just go however fate feels like going.
   

[Edit]Building Positive Feelings

1. Be yourself. When we try to be someone that we're not, it adds tons of stress, guilt, and unhappiness to our lives. We can hope all we want to be a different person than we are, but that's not really how people work! You just have to be yourself and embrace the person that you are.^[11]
   
   • Don't worry about what other people say or what they want you to be.^[12] It's not their life: it's yours.
   • Focus on doing the things that are true for you! Make sure to only say "yes" and "no" when you truly mean these things.^[13]
   • We're always growing and we're always evolving as humans. What resonates with you today might not resonate tomorrow, and making choices that are in alignment with who you are today is extremely important to be at peace with yourself.^[14]
2. Pursue what makes you happy.^[15] Life is all about getting to do things that bring you joy. When you live life really well, you perfectly balance doing the hard stuff, the fun stuff, and the stuff that helps others. Of course, some of us tend to focus too much on the hard stuff or we forget to take time out for ourselves. You have to pursue the things that make you happy, regardless of what other people think, or you will never feel fulfilled.^[16]
   
3. Take time out for yourself. Sometimes you need quiet time to focus on your own problems and decompress. It can be hard, in the loud mess that is life, to find time for this but it is very important for your own happiness and ability to handle the tough stuff in life.^[17]
   
   • Try taking a weekend away at the library to read and relax.
   • Sit alone for lunch sometimes to get away from the drama.
4. Help others. Helping others is one of the most powerful things we can do to give ourselves a sense of fulfillment and peace. Helping others give us a purpose and lets us feel like we accomplished something great. If you find that nothing else in life is giving you a sense of peace, try helping people in serious need.^[18]
   
   • You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen or at your local community center, tutoring for adult literacy classes.^[19]
5. Create goals. Having a goal that you can work for can really help when you're feeling lost and aimless. Really, what's the point in life if you don't have something to work towards, right? Find something that you want for yourself and then figure out what you have to do to pursue it. You'll find a zen-like peace when you're working with all your soul devoted to a single goal.^[20]
   
   • Have you always wanted to learn how to play the piano maybe?
   • Maybe what you really want to do is have a child?

[Edit]Calming Techniques

1. Listen to calming music. Music can help us calm down and find inner peace even in the most stressful of situations.^[21] Find music that works for you and then be ready to rock it at a moment's notice!
   
   • One good chillout song is Ze Frank's "Chillout". What a surprise!
   • MyNoise is another great source of relaxing music that can help you center yourself and find some inner peace.^[22]
2. Go for a walk or run. Going for a walk or run is another good way to calm yourself down. Getting exercise not only tires us out and lets us release tension, it also releases endorphins, which are the brain chemical that regulates our emotions. Go for a quick jog around the block if you find you're having a hard time.^[23]
   
3. Play with someone who knows how to have fun. Whether you're playing fetch with a dog or pirates with a five-year-old, having fun with someone who really knows how to embrace the joys of life can make a huge difference when you're having a tough time.
   
4. Avoid drama.^[24] Drama, either drama you cause or drama you find yourself in the middle of, can really get in the way of finding your inner peace.^[25] We tend to seek out drama because it makes life more exciting, but in order to find peace we have to make our lives more exciting by pursuing challenges instead. This is because the negative feelings associated with drama cannot create inner peace, which relies on positive feelings.
   
   • If someone in your life is prone to just bringing the drama, try to cut them out as much as you can.
5. Do comforting activities. There are lots of great, basic comfort activities that you can do to calm down and find peace when you're starting to get a bit on edge. You can drink tea, watch a funny movie, meditate, light some incense, or any number of other calming rituals. These work based on personal preference, so just find one that works for you!
   

[Edit]Finding Wisdom

1. Study the Stoics. The Stoics were ancient philosophers who were pretty much the experts at being at peace. It is the whole point of their philosophy! Read up on the Stoic philosophy and the lives of the Stoic philosophers and see how you can apply their lessons to your own life.^[26]
   
   • A Guide to the Good Life, by William B Irvine, is a great modern primer on Stoic philosophy.
2. Read a holy text. Holy texts, whether we're talking about the Bible or the Quran, can all teach us how to find peace by living more fulfilling lives.^[27] Even if you're not a religious person, there's plenty of wisdom to be found in the holy texts of cultures all over the world. You will find that almost all of them teach the same ideals!
   
3. Meet with a spiritual adviser. Spiritual advisers, such as priests and monks, can also help advise you on how to find inner peace. Even if you don't want a religious solution, they are experts in the soul and human mind and should be able to help you find productive, inspiring ways to improve your experience of life.
   
4. Take a cue from nature. Go sit out in a natural area nearby. Listen to the trees. Watch the animals. Do they seem worried about what their brother did last Christmas? Do the trees seem to notice when it starts to rain? No. Nature adapts and embraces every twist and turn in life and you should too.^[28]
   
5. Read books. There are a number of books and works by people who have really mastered this peace thing. Seek out some books that deal with the issues that cause you tension or go with some of the classics. Some authors that are known for the significant contributions to philosophy on this issue include:
   
   • Joseph Campbell
   • Alan Watts

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Hang out with your friends and talk to them about what they do!
• Never let what anyone else says get to you. You will be more at peace if you thicken your skin a little.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Do Tai Chi
• Hunt for Wild Ginseng
• Do Tai Chi's Horse Stance
• Make a Stress Ball

[Edit]Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about peace, check out our in-depth with [v161566_b01].

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/6-ways-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-control.html
2. ↑ [v161566_b01]. 22 March 2023.
3. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-control-how-to-learn-the-art-of-surrender/
4. ↑ [v161566_b01]. 22 March 2023.
5. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-you-can-learn-to-unde_b_9774012
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201505/5-ways-stop-beating-yourself
7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/07/17/5-ways-to-turn-your-mistake-into-a-valuable-life-lesson/#4ff541231c01
8. ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-forgive-someone-who-has-wronged-you-1671192403
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201409/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-1
10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201605/how-do-you-forgive-even-when-it-feels-impossible-part-2
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201810/how-be-yourself-in-five-simple-steps
12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201603/how-not-worry-about-what-others-think-you
13. ↑ [v161566_b01]. 22 March 2023.
14. ↑ [v161566_b01]. 22 March 2023.
15. ↑ [v161566_b01]. 22 March 2023.
16. ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/610387/why-its-impossible-to-be-consistently-happy
17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone
18. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_helping_others_help_you_find_meaning_in_life
19. ↑ https://www.moneycrashers.com/ways-volunteer-give-back-community/
20. ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/451686/5-amazing-benefits-of-setting-goals-for-a-healthier-life
21. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-power-of-music-to-reduce-stress/
22. ↑ https://mynoise.net/
23. ↑ https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2356004/You-CAN-walk-away-stress-Scientists-discover-stroll-soothe-brain.html
24. ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/avoid-life-dramas-with-these-tips.html
25. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-crucial-steps-to-minimize-drama-in-your-life/
26. ↑ https://medium.com/pocketstoic/5-stoic-principles-for-modern-living-applying-an-ancient-philosophy-to-the-21st-century-2a8e10f31887
27. ↑ https://lifehopeandtruth.com/bible/bible-study/encouraging-bible-verses/encouraging-bible-verses-about-peace/
28. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meditation-modern-life/201710/how-find-inner-peace

How to He's a Ten but Questions

Tons of TikTok-inspired prompts to use with your friends

“He’s a 10 but” is a trend that originally went viral on TikTok and then became popular on X (Twitter). This trend is all about giving an imaginary person an attractiveness rating from 1 to 10. Then, you end the prompt with an odd habit, behavior, or scenario that can either move the rating up or down. For example, you might say “He’s a 10 but he hates cats,” which might cause your cat-loving friend to rerate him as a “2.” Keep reading for over 135 questions you can use for your own “He’s a 10 but” game.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]“He’s a Ten but…” Questions

1. He’s a 10 but…{endbold} Prompts where the imaginary person is “a 10” are usually followed up with negative traits or behaviors that lower the score. Try to keep the game lighthearted and fun by avoiding questions about someone’s looks or body type. Instead, focus on hyper-specific behaviors (like clapping every time the plane lands) or general traits (like always being late).
   
   • He has no sense of humor.
   • He runs up the stairs on all fours.
   • He claps every time the plane lands.
   • He’s always late.
   • He never helps you with the chores.
   • He’s super clingy.
   • He doesn’t have a driver’s license or a car.
   • He brings up his ex in every conversation.
   • He follows a bunch of random Instagram models.
   • He’s cheated on someone before.
   • He acts like a baby when he doesn’t get what he wants.
   • He’s always talking about himself.
   • He’s disrespectful to his parents.
   • He refuses to post pictures of the two of you on social media.
2. He’s a 9 but…{endbold} Follow up these fun prompts with behaviors and traits that most people might see as negative, but that give you and your friends a little wiggle room in case someone has a controversial hot take.
   
   • He vapes all the time.
   • He tries to start the wave at sports games.
   • He only uses Snapchat to communicate with you.
   • He’s a SoundCloud rapper.
   • He wants an open relationship.
   • He’s 4’2”.
   • He’s always on his phone when you’re together.
   • He snores like a fog horn.
   • He’s terrified of butterflies.
   • He’s always “too busy” to hang out.
   • He’s a total mama’s boy.
   • He drives like a NASCAR driver.
   • He picks his nose in public.
3. He’s an 8 but…{endbold} Most people might find these habits unattractive, but there are a few prompts in this list that might make people surprise you. Who knows? Maybe your friend prefers it if the imaginary person expects them to pay for everything or thinks it's absolutely hilarious that they somehow always get stuck in the revolving door.
   
   • His place is a complete mess.
   • He chews all of his plastic straws.
   • He doesn’t wear socks.
   • He doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
   • He films himself trying viral dances on TikTok.
   • He starts every conversation with “wyd?”
   • He always gets stuck in the revolving door.
   • He thinks he’s hilarious, but he’s just mean.
   • He smokes cigarettes.
   • He always forgets your birthday.
   • He checks out other people in public.
   • He expects you to pay for everything.
   • He chews with his mouth open.
4. He’s a 7 but…{endbold} These habits, traits, and scenarios tend to be a little controversial, but some friends might choose to keep the score a “7” or even bump it up a little if it makes the imaginary person more attractive.
   
   • He has a really annoying laugh.
   • He only texts you after 10 pm.
   • He listens to “alpha male” podcasts.
   • He doesn’t know how to ride a bike.
   • He’s bad at managing his money.
   • He doesn’t use deodorant.
   • He calls his parents “mommy” and “daddy.”
   • He constantly interrupts you while you’re talking.
   • His ex is still his phone’s background picture.
   • He disappears for days on end.
   • He only communicates with GIFs.
   • He flakes out on your dates.
   • He sticks gum under the table.
5. He’s a 6 but…{endbold} Follow up prompts that rate an imaginary person as a “6” with behaviors or traits that tend to be negative, but could be positive, too. Your friend might like it when your partner is overly protective of them or they’re a huge fishing fan and feel drawn to people who include a picture of their latest catch in their dating profile.
   
   • He constantly talks badly about other people.
   • He’s overly protective of you.
   • He has a picture of a fish he caught on his dating profile.
   • He never puts the toilet seat down.
   • He doesn’t know how to swim.
   • He says “no cap” to everything.
   • He drives a really nice car.
   • He’s never seen Star Wars.
   • He never goes to the doctor or the dentist.
   • He doesn’t watch TV or movies.
   • He only replies every 2 to 3 business days.
   • He’s bad at math.
   • He confidently sings the wrong lyrics to every song.
6. He’s a 5 but…{endbold} These prompts were designed to go either way—depending on your personal preferences, these habits or scenarios could drive your score up or down. While some people might see having an Android phone as a red flag, others might see no problem at all with it. It just depends on who you are and what you find attractive!
   
   • He has no social media accounts.
   • He’s genuinely super funny.
   • He doesn’t like to cuddle.
   • He has an Android phone.
   • He reads the news every single morning.
   • He’s super organized.
   • He has a buzzcut.
   • He doesn’t like to dance.
   • He always asks to split everything 50-50.
   • He doesn’t use emojis.
   • He gives you foot massages.
   • He kisses your forehead.
   • He has tattoos all over his body.
7. He’s a 4 but…{endbold} Here’s where we get into prompts that are often considered positive, but might not matter to some people. For example, maybe you hate spiders and feel more attracted to someone who isn’t afraid to kill them over someone who just traps them in a cup and carries them outside.
   
   • He tips waitstaff well.
   • He’s a great photographer.
   • He has a great taste in music.
   • He loves talking to you.
   • He carries spiders outside instead of killing them.
   • He can cook really well.
   • He’s incredibly loyal.
   • He’s super kind towards everyone.
   • He gets your sarcasm and plays along.
   • He has a really cute dog.
   • He knows who he is and what he stands for.
   • He validates your feelings and makes changes based on them.
   • He’s mature and humble.
   • He makes sure you walk on the inside of the sidewalk.
8. He’s a 3 but…{endbold} These habits and traits tend to be more positive, but they have a little wiggle room in case someone rates the person lower instead.
   
   • He’s a great listener.
   • He’s super talented at anything creative.
   • He’s always early.
   • He’s incredibly kind to animals.
   • He values your opinions and goes to you for advice.
   • He remembers everything about you and what you like.
   • He’s your age and sitting next to you on a flight.
   • He has a high-paying job with tons of great benefits.
   • He admits when he’s wrong about something.
   • He reads your favorite books.
   • He values and regularly checks in on his friends.
   • He wears his heart on his sleeve.
   • He treats you like an equal partner.
9. He’s a 2 but…{endbold} Pick a prompt from this list that’s ultra positive and that would cause most people to rate the imaginary person higher. Some of these also have the possibility to stay the same or go even lower—maybe one of your friends thinks having a trust fund is a red flag or maybe you don’t find professional athletes attractive at all.
   
   • He has a really nice smile.
   • He’s a professional athlete.
   • He has a trust fund.
   • He loves trying new things.
   • He’s rich. Like, really rich.
   • He has all the same interests that you do.
   • He’s incredibly intelligent.
   • He pays all your bills for you.
   • He’s comfortable talking about his emotions.
   • You’re neighbors.
   • He’s super easy-going and comfortable to hang out with.
   • He’s your best friend.
   • He actively tries to compromise when you disagree.
   • He treats his parents and siblings well.
   • He encourages you to pursue a life outside of your relationship.
   • He’s super ambitious.
   • He speaks positively about you when you’re not around.
10. He’s a 1 but…{endbold} Just like you start your sentence with “he’s a 10 but” and end it with something horrendous, try starting your prompt with “he’s a 1 but” and end it with something incredibly positive and wholesome.
    
    • He pays for all of your dates.
    • He’s 6’5”.
    • He respects your boundaries.
    • Your whole family loves him.
    • He buys flowers without you asking.
    • He has a great sense of style.
    • He’s open about his insecurities.
    • He’s financially responsible.
    • He never makes you feel bad during an argument.
    • He understands your love language.
    • He supports you unconditionally.
    • He communicates regularly and follows through on promises.
    • He always brings you back food when he goes out with friends.

[Edit]How to Play “He’s a Ten but…”

1. Ask your friend a “He’s a ten but…” question. This game is based on the 1 to 10 dating scale, where you rate a person based on their looks and overall attractiveness. When someone starts with the prompt “he’s a [insert number] but…” they follow it up with a trait or behavior that could make that person more or less attractive.
   
   • “He’s a 6 but he eats pizza with a knife and fork.”
   • “He’s a 10 but he screams at his parents.”
   • “He’s a 2 but he always opens the door for you.”
   • If “he” doesn’t fit your friend group, you can change the pronouns to whatever you’d like. All of these prompts can easily be turned into “she’s a 10 but” or “they’re a ten but” questions.
2. Your friend gives the person a new rating based on the question. If the number is 5 or higher, the rest of the question is a trait or behavior that people might see as negative. If the number is 4 or lower, the rest of the question tends to be a trait or behavior that’s more positive.
   
   • You: “He’s a 2 but he always celebrates your accomplishments.”
     Your friend: “I love that, he’s a 7.”
   • You: “He’s a 5 but every gift he gives you is his favorite color.”
     Your friend: “He’s definitely a 3. He doesn’t sound very thoughtful at all.”
   • You: “He’s a 10 but he’s absolutely obsessed with golf.”
     Your friend: “I don’t like golf, I’d say he’s a 4.”
3. Your friend asks you a question in return. The best part about this game is learning about how you and your friends would change someone’s attractiveness rating based on a random fact about them. Use questions from the list above or create your own to personalize them to your and your friends’ preferences.
   
   • This game works best when you have 2 or more people—that way everyone can give their rating based on the trait, behavior, or scenario you give them.^[1]
   • The “he’s a 10 but” game was created on TikTok by user @leahhwoodss in May 2022. The trend quickly spread to Twitter, where people post questions and other users comment what they’d re-score the person in the scenario.^[2]

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/hes-a-ten-but-trend-game-tiktok-b2106992.html
2. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shes-a-10-but-hes-a-10-but

How to Be Determined

Determination is a skill that can be learned! Start by figuring out what you want. Then, create healthy habits that increase your chances of reaching your goals. Stick with your determination over the long run by using strategies to overcome obstacles and keep your motivation strong.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals

1. Complete the best possible future self exercise. It’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that.^[1]
   
   • Spend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future?
   • Try not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.
2. Create a few specific goals. Develop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals.^[2]
   
   • For instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii.
   • You might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal.
   • Focusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.
3. Break your goals down. After you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way.
   
   • For example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.
   • You might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first.
   • For example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.
4. Set challenging deadlines. Creating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal.^[3]
   
   • For instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months.
   • Your deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.
5. Prioritize your goals. If you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them.^[4]
   
   • Prioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, "I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning." You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.
6. Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment. Regularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting.
   
   • For example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.

[Edit]Building Good Habits

1. Eliminate negative thinking. This is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.^[5]
   
   • Learn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up," change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, "I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them."
2. Play to your strengths. Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals.^[6]
   
   • Have friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths.
   • For example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).
3. Build your self-confidence. Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities.^[7]
   
   • To portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are.
   • To feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.
4. Practice flexibility. Flexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too.^[8]
   
   • One of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off.
   • Switching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.
5. Make healthy choices. It’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination.^[9]
   
   • Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.
   • Eat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.
   • Exercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.

[Edit]Maintaining Your Determination

1. Learn from obstacles. People who use their determination do not use the term "failure." Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and "failures" are actually opportunities.^[10]
   
   • Re-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities.
   • Another method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed "failure." What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the "failure" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?
2. Find creative solutions. Thinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered.
   
   • Daydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time.
   • Ask yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?
3. Use visualization. Although it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards.^[11]
   
   • The more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them.
   • For instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing "congratulations" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.
4. Create a vision board. A vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward.^[12]
   
   • Look through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career.
   • After assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!
5. Reward yourself. Celebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals.^[13]
   
   • For example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant.
   • Rewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal).
   • Keep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.
6. Take breaks to re-energize. Sometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals.^[14]
   
   • A break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway.
   • For a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Be Confident
• Feel Confident
• Be Strong Minded
• Be Brave
• Build Self Confidence

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/best_possible_self#data-tab-how
2. ↑ http://www.success.com/article/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals
3. ↑ http://www.success.com/article/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals
4. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/224675
5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking/
6. ↑ http://hbr.org/2005/01/how-to-play-to-your-strengths/
7. ↑ http://www.washington.edu/doit/Mentor/eca_characteristics.html
8. ↑ https://www.gaiam.com/blogs/discover/5-brain-exercises-to-foster-flexible-thinking
9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking/
10. ↑ http://blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-obstacles
11. ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/goal_visualization
12. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-rider/the-scientific-reason-why_b_6392274.html
13. ↑ http://www.valueoptions.com/spotlight_heart/html/pdfs/Articles/English/change_management/managing_change_reward_yourself_celebrating_behavioral_change.pdf
14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/second-wind/201303/struggling-reach-your-goal-take-break