How to Be a Better Person: A Guide to Self-Improvement

Life can be a whirlwind of responsibilities and stress, but with the right focus, you can start becoming a better person and who you want to be. In this article, we’ll help you learn how to be a better person in a number of different ways. From honoring yourself to doing small acts of kindness, there’s something you can do each and every day to better yourself and grow as an individual. Keep reading to learn how you can embark on your self-improvement journey.

Things You Should Know

• Keep a gratitude journal to be more positive and compassionate.
• Take care of your mental and physical health to brighten your mood and be happier.
• Find healthier outlets for anger, like exercising and doing yoga, to redirect negative emotions.

Steps

Set goals for yourself.

1. Positive, obtainable aspirations can give you something to thrive for. Everyone needs something to live for, so think about what you want in life. Not only can striving for something make you a happier and better person, but it can also help you find your purpose. Use a pen and paper and write down the short and long-term goals you would like to achieve.^[1] Try asking yourself these questions to find and set an achievable goal:^[2]
   
   • Is there a relationship in your life you want to improve?
   • What causes or movements are you passionate about?
   • Is there a project you’ve been meaning to finish?
   • What do you like to do in your free time?
   • Making your goal to “be a better” person may be challenging to define and achieve. Instead, opt for small goals that can help you grow as an individual, like reading a nonfiction book, writing a short story, calling your mom every weekend, or helping someone in need every day.

Practice forgiveness.

1. Forgiving yourself and others can help you improve relationships. On your journey to becoming a better person, it’s important to let go of any grudges you're holding. The past is in the past; it’s time to move forward. Allow yourself time to forgive your past mistakes and recognize what they’ve taught you. Then, forgive those who have hurt you. You may not be able to forget what they’ve done, and that’s okay, but forgiveness can give you peace of mind.^[3]
   
   • Dwelling on past wrongs can actually increase your blood pressure and heart rate, while forgiveness can help manage and lower stress.

Be empathetic towards others.

1. Imagining what someone’s been through can give you a new perspective. Empathy is one of the first steps to being a better person because it builds your compassion. Not only does cultivating empathy help you be more sensitive toward other people, but it also helps you form lasting relationships and feel less isolated. Being empathic helps you gain a friend while challenging your perspective. Here are some ways you can be more empathic:^[4]
   
   • Avoid making assumptions about people and jumping to conclusions.
   • Imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes or situation.
   • Actively listen to express interest and help someone feel heard.

Give back to your community.

1. Helping others doesn’t only benefit them; it benefits you too! Research shows that being altruistic (the act of promoting someone else’s welfare) improves mood and overall happiness. So, consider volunteering at a local shelter, donating used clothes, or picking up trash at the park. Even the smallest act can make the biggest difference.^[5]
   
   • Aim to practice at least one act of kindness every day. It doesn’t have to be something big or time-consuming. Even leaving a sticky note on a public bathroom mirror saying, “You’re beautiful inside and out!” can make someone’s day.
   • When you help others, you get a rush of endorphins that make you feel good. This is known as the “helper’s high.”

Go outside your comfort zone.

1. Expose yourself to new experiences to grow as an individual. Comfort zones are great, but they can also be stagnant. Every once and a while, change up your daily schedule, try something new, and step outside your comfort zone. Trying new things that make you a little uncomfortable can broaden your horizons and open your eyes to a different perspective.^[6]
   
   • Make a bucket list of things you can do outside of your comfort zone. Then, spend every other weekend checking an activity off the list.
   • Ask friends to join you on your adventures for double the fun.
   • Experiment with a different routine by going to a different coffee shop for lunch or taking an alternative route to work.
   • Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. The impossible can be obtainable if you put your best foot forward.

Learn something new.

1. One of the best ways to better yourself is to educate yourself. Knowledge can go a long way, especially when it comes to understanding other people’s situations. Whether you're in school or not, self-educating can help you grow and evolve as an individual. The more you know, the more perspective you’ll gain. Here are some ways you can learn something new today:^[7]
   
   • Sign up for a class you're interested in online or at a library. Maybe that’s an art class or a course on American Literature.
   • Read a nonfiction book.
   • Listen to a podcast about a topic you want to learn more about, like business, money, culture, or mental health.

Acknowledge your weaknesses.

1. Everyone has flaws, but you can aim to improve yours. Notice how your behavior and attitude affect others. Are people generally happy or sad around you? Do friends come to you for help or advice? Answering these questions and analyzing your interactions can help you discover and strengthen your weaknesses.^[8]
   
   • For instance, if friends don’t usually come to you for advice, ask yourself why. Do you talk over them or criticize their decisions? Maybe you need to work on being a better listener.
   • The more you learn to be flexible and adaptable with your behavior, the better you can care for yourself and those around you.

Control your anger.

1. Feeling angry is natural, but too much anger can hinder compassion. When you want to be a better person, it’s important to understand the whys and hows of someone else’s situation. Things may not work out how they’re supposed to, but that's okay. Take a deep breath and remember that you may not be able to control many things, but you can control your attitude.^[9]
   
   • Try redirecting your anger away from yourself and others by going on a walk, doing yoga, or punching a pillow.
   • Calm yourself down by taking deep belly breaths and visualizing a relaxing or joyful memory.
   • Reconstruct your thinking patterns by avoiding words like “never” or “always” to describe yourself or others.
   • Instead, try journaling or taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

Express your feelings respectfully.

1. Using “I” statements can help you thoughtfully articulate emotions. Life is full of complex and confusing emotions, and with those emotions comes conflict. You may not be able to control every situation you’re in, but you can control your reactions. “I” statements can be used in conflicts or emotionally tense situations to communicate feelings without pointing blame. Check out these ways you can change these phrases into “I” statements:^[10]
   
   • “You never listen to me anymore,” changes to, “I feel that my concerns aren’t being heard.”
   • “I hate when you shout at the kids,” changes to, “When you shout at the kids, I feel upset because I want the kids to feel respected.”
   • “You’re always grounding me. It’s not fair!” changes to, “I feel like you’re always grounding me, and it upsets me.”

Be grateful.

1. Practicing gratitude every day can help you be more positive. Gratitude is more than a feeling; it’s an active practice. Being thankful and appreciative of your life, no matter where you are in it, helps you be compassionate and loving towards yourself and others. Take a moment to recognize that goodness can be outside yourself and that every smile or simple favor is a gift.^[11] Here are some more ways you can cultivate gratitude in your life:
   
   • Keep a gratitude journal or make a gratitude list to highlight all the things you're thankful for each day, big or small.^[12]
   • Savor surprises by appreciating the thought that was put into them.
   • Share what you’re thankful for with others. For instance, if your brother helped you move your couch, let him know how much you appreciate his help.^[13]

Be patient.

1. Things don’t always happen the way you’d like them to, and that’s okay! Rather than getting upset when things don’t go your way, take a deep breath and remember to have patience. It’s alright if life is slower. Try savoring these slow moments by noticing the little things and acknowledging the positives in the situation.^[14]
   
   • For instance, maybe you ordered a pizza for family game night, but the deliverer is stuck in traffic. Instead of getting frustrated, recognize that the extra time waiting for your pizza has given you more time to pick out a game. Plus, you’ll probably get a discounted pizza.
   • Another example could be that your computer starts updating the moment you want to work. Rather than getting upset, use the extra minutes of downtime to play with your dog, take a walk, or do some tidying up.

Be yourself.

1. The best way to be a better person is to simply be 100% you! You are unique, special, and one-of-a-kind. Accepting yourself for who you truly are can help you feel happier, improve your life, and strengthen your identity. Follow your gut, do what you love, and explore your interests. The more you do to fuel your energy, the happier and more confident you’ll be.^[15]
   
   • Enroll in classes that spark your interest to learn a new skill or find a new passion.
   • Do things that are meaningful to you to help you feel fulfilled.^[16]

Take care of yourself.

1. Sleep, food, and exercise can give you the energy you need to be better. If you don’t give your body the proper nutrition and rest it needs, you won’t be able to serve yourself or others. Stick to a regular routine that’s healthy for you, and watch how your mood changes for the better. When you support your physical health, you support your mental health.^[17]
   
   • Aim to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night to help your mind and body recharge.^[18]
   • Eat food that nourishes your mind and body. Aim to eat whole foods, but don’t restrict yourself—it’s okay to have a cookie every now and then!
   • Do a form of exercise you enjoy for at least 30 minutes every day. Maybe that’s walking, dancing, hiking, doing yoga, or kickboxing.

Accept that change happens.

1. It’s okay if your goals don’t stay the same as you grow. The journey of self-improvement isn’t a straight path—it bends and twists when you least expect it! Because of this, your short-term and long-term goals may change as you go. This is completely normal and a sign that you’re becoming a better person. After all, you wouldn’t be adapting if you didn’t want to improve.^[19]
   
   • Try your best not to dwell on the past. Instead, focus on the present moment. Change is inevitable, but you can roll with the punches.

Be kind to yourself.

1. Before learning to love others, you must learn to love yourself. Self-compassion may sound like the opposite of being a better person, but caring for yourself is the first step to improvement. After all, if you can’t care for yourself, how can you care for others? Try these exercises to help you be kinder to yourself:^[20]
   
   • Pretend you’re writing a letter to a friend in a similar situation. How would you talk them through it?
   • Place your hand over your heart and whisper positive affirmations to yourself when you’re down, like “I am safe,” “I am kind to myself,” and “I am smart and have a big heart.”
   • Note your accomplishments and achievements without criticism by responding rationally to self-critical thoughts. Acknowledge where the critic comes from and then prove it wrong in a logical way.^[21]
   • Look in the mirror every morning and compliment yourself. You could say something like, “You’re beautiful, no matter what,” or “You have the brightest smile.”

Video

Reader Videos

Tips

• Follow the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated” to be a kind person.

Related wikiHows

• Be a Good Listener
• Form a Spiritual Philosophy
• Be a Good Person That People Look up To

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161439_b01]. 16 June 2020.
2. ↑ https://actionforhappiness.org/take-action/set-your-goals-and-make-them-happen
3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#why_practice
4. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition#what_is
5. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/altruism/definition#what_is
6. ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/psychology/resource/the-pros-and-cons-of-comfort-zones
7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/science-of-choice/202311/8-tips-for-learning-a-new-skill-effectively
8. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2023/03/14/15-expert-tips-for-turning-leadership-weaknesses-into-strengths/
9. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
10. ↑ https://www.bumc.bu.edu/facdev-medicine/files/2011/08/I-messages-handout.pdf
11. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#why_practice
12. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
13. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
14. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-patient
15. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
16. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_foolproof_ways_to_feel_more_joy_in_2015
17. ↑ https://mhanational.org/taking-good-care-yourself
18. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/
19. ↑ https://www.fnu.edu/person/
20. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination
21. ↑ https://counseling.uoregon.edu/overcoming-self-criticism

Most Common "Hear Me Out" Characters, According to Our Readers

Plus, what your hear me out characters reveal about you…

The results are IN! 🥳 You've completed our "hear me out" character analyzer (and if you haven't, what are you waiting for?), and now we've got some interesting data to share with you! We polled more than 30,000 wikiHow users on their most unconventional and unhinged "hear me out" crushes, and y'all certainly delivered. Sure, there are some expected answers here, like Flynn Rider or Prince Zuko—but then we've got Lightning McQueen? Venom?? Shrek?? Y'all are freaky. (But no shade.) To hear the rest of our list, keep reading: we've broken down each of your favorite "hear me out" characters crush by crush, as well as what thirsting after them might say about you…

Your Top 10 "Hear Me Out" Characters

1. Nick Wilde
2. Flynn Rider
3. Shrek
4. Venom
5. Draco Malfoy
6. Percy Jackson
7. Arven
8. Cat Noir
9. Satoru Gojo
10. Lola Bunny

Steps

Your Most-Loved "Hear Me Out" Characters

1. Nick Wilde (Zootopia){endbold} Between Nick Wilde and Robin Hood, animated foxes seem to show up in a lot of "hear me out" lists—but while RH didn't make the cut here, Nick dominated our list! And we get it: he's clever and charming, with juuuust the right amount of arrogance. Basically, he's a total fox.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: Did you vote for Nick Wilde? If so, it sounds to us like you're drawn to fun characters who are witty in a deadpan sort of way—characters who might be selfish or even narcissistic on the surface, but who, deep down, just want what's best for everyone.
2. Flynn Rider (Tangled){endbold} Literally the only reason Flynn is a "hear me out" character is because he's animated. In the inevitable live-action version of Tangled Disney makes, y'all are gonna be shamelessly swooning for whichever blessèdly charming actor is cast in the role of Rapunzel's plus-one. And we will be too.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: Flynn has the charm and wit of Nick Wilde combined with the looks and chaotic good leanings of reluctant hero Han Solo. If you voted for him, you might be drawn to charismatic characters who combine a devil-may-care exterior with a willingness to do anything for the person he loves—and who could blame you?
   • Ever wonder what Disney princess you'd be? Maybe you'd even be the lucky Rapunzel herself! Take our personality test to find out!
3. Shrek{endbold} You know, from Shrek. Shrek might not be a conventional choice, but isn't that the whole point of a "hear me out" character? Besides, we get it: he's got a tough, monstrous exterior with a heart of gold underneath (dare we say, like an onion?).
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: Voting for Shrek either means you've got a heart of gold yourself and are capable of looking past a person's exterior—or that you're just into the whole "angry green monster" thing. Respect.
   • Either way, Shrek shares traits with a lot of other popular "hear me out"s: he's sarcastic and rude on the surface, but underneath, he's a secret sweetie, just trying to find some happiness in the world.
   • We know you love Shrek, in a very k-i-s-s-i-n-g kind of way. But if you were a character in the Shrekverse, who would you be? Take our quiz to find out!
4. Venom (Marvel Cinematic Universe){endbold} This one's interesting because while we kinda get it, there are a LOT of hotties in the MCU, but somehow Venom is the only one who made the top 18. We're assuming he ranked due to the combination of sass, danger, and eventual heroism he brings to the table—three traits that seem to characterize a lot of your fave "hear me out"s, curiously enough.
   
   • To further complicate things…are we talking about Venom the symbiote? Eddie Brock, his host (which we'd get, because…Tom Hardy?? Hello)? The two combined? Unclear. But in each case, the crush is understandable.
   • What voting for this character might say about you: You're into the baddies-turned-goodies, the secret sweethearts, the complex antiheroes. (Did you perchance also vote for Prince Zuko?)
   • Have you taken our quiz to find out which character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe you'd be? Maybe you'd even be Venom himself!
5. Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter){endbold} We love a literary HMO! But even if you were mainly thinking of Tom Felton's portrayal of this Slytherin baddie, we understand, and we approve. Draco's such a brat, but in a way that's utterly electric—and a little tragic.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: Another complex villain. Voting for Draco suggests you've got a thing for the "bad boy," but it also suggests you've got a sympathetic heart: even though Draco never fully comes around to the "good" side, seeing him unravel as the series goes on and he's forced to (sort of) confront the belief system he was raised in is enough to make any reader want to give him a hug.
   • Draco may be a Slytherin, but do you know what Hogwarts house you'd be in? Take the quiz to find out.
6. Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians){endbold} Another literary babe—but maybe y'all are just thinking of the TV show, which, again: that checks out. While you'd probably crush on Draco against your own best interest, being #thirsty4Percy makes sense: he's heroic, loyal, and witty, with a strong sense of justice. We stan.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: You love a hero with a twist. Percy is a richly drawn character with plenty of flaws of his own—maybe you even appreciate how relatable he is. We know we do.
   • Curious what character in the Percy Jackson universe you'd be? Take our quiz to find out!
7. Arven (Pokémon Scarlet and Violet){endbold} While this character initially comes off as standoffish and irritable, Arven slowly shows himself to be sweet, sensitive, and loyal. We ultimately learn his sharp attitude likely stems from a devastating backstory—adding even more tragic allure to this character.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: You're drawn to characters who are slow to open up—maybe that reflects your own personality, or maybe you're just a big sweetie whose heartstrings are easily tugged by sensitive, slow-to-trust jerks. Either way, we approve.
   • Ever wonder what Pokémon you'd be? Take our quiz to find out!
8. Cat Noir (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir){endbold} Like many other characters on our list, Cat Noir is a playful, wisecracking goofball—traits which are even more meaningful when contrasted with his behavior in everyday society as Adrien Agreste: a mild-mannered and polite supermodel.
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: Cat Noir's presence on this list suggests you're drawn to energetic, funny, sarcastic characters. It also may indicate you're intrigued by characters who live a double life—characters who feel they can only reveal certain aspects of their personalities if they can do it anonymously. Maybe you know something about that, gentle reader?
9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen){endbold} Satoru Gojo is characterized by his confidence, playfulness, and easygoing attitude, especially around his students, who he'd do just about anything for—how can someone like that not make our list?
   
   • What voting for this character might say about you: You're drawn to a hero who's confident and self-assured—but also noble and loyal, with a strong sense of justice. We can't fault you for that!
   • What Jujutsu Kaisen character would you be? Take our quiz to find out!
10. Lola Bunny (Looney Tunes){endbold} Lola's been giving us cartoon heart eyes since Space Jam, and there's no reason to think she'll ever stop. Whether you voted for Space Jam-era Lola or New Legacy-era Lola, this femme fatale is sassy, confident, and a total dreamboat.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: You appreciate a heroine who can hold her own: she's brainy and athletic, and though she's rather sultry (for an animated rabbit, we mean), she's no damsel in distress.
11. Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians){endbold} Can you be called a silver fox if you're a teenager (or a youthful-looking immortal being)? If so, that's Jack Frost. He embodies the coldest, severest season of the year, but this mischievous winter spirit is anything but. Instead, he's a fun and incurable prankster—with an alluring and sympathetic loneliness that's enough to attract any tenderhearted viewer.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: You appreciate a fun-loving and charismatic hero, especially one as richly drawn as Jack. As he begins to understand the weight of the responsibility he carries and grows into the noble Guardian he was always meant to be, he becomes an even more attractive character.
12. Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender){endbold} One of our faves! On the surface, Zuko is cold, angry, and sinister, but underneath his scarred exterior is a shy, tenderhearted sweetie who is Trying His Best™ and just needs someone to believe in him.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: You love a dark and mysterious character with a secretly huuuuuuuge heart underneath. Your ideal mate is probably a Scorpio, tbh.
    • Wondering what ATLA character YOU'D be? Take our quiz to find out if you'd be Zuko himself—or someone else!
13. Dabi (My Hero Academia){endbold} The adage "Hurt people hurt people" could easily be Dabi's motto. Dabi is a richly drawn villain with a compelling and tragic backstory. He's cruel, calculating, and chaotic—but, like, in a sympathetic way.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: We suspect anyone who voted for Dabi has a big heart. If you chose Dabi as your HMO, you likely understand that nobody just "becomes" a villain. It's also possible you've got a touch of I-can-fix-him-itis, and you might want to get that checked out.
    • What character in the MHA universe would you be? Take our quiz to find out!
14. Leo Valdez (Percy Jackson and the Olympians){endbold} Another Percy Jackson fan fave! There's not a lot we need to "hear you out" about here: Leo's funny, flirty, and friendly, all ideal traits in a crush, real or fictitious. And, as with many of us, his sarcastic personality can sometimes mask deep-seated insecurities. We stan a relatable demigod.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: Maybe you, like Leo, struggle with your own inner demons and use humor to mask what's happening under the surface—or maybe you just dig his particular combo of charm, charisma, and leadership skills! A perfectly alluring cocktail of personality traits.
15. Lightning McQueen (Cars){endbold} We're beginning to think "hear me out" is just another way of saying sometimes you get a crush on a nonhuman entity. No shame. I mean, some shame, but we get it. Besides, he may be a car, but he's got a wonderful personality.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: You dig a funny, sarcastic, and sort of delulu guy who can go real real fast.
16. Scar (The Lion King){endbold} Speaking of "wonderful personalities," there's Scar (that was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell!). He makes a lot of "hear me out" lists on the 'net, so we were prepared (get it?) to see him here—and we also fully approve. Sure, he may be evil, murderous, manipulative, and, y'know, a lion, but he's also a total diva…and kind of a zaddy.
    
    • What voting for this character might say about you: You love a drama queen with an evil streak—especially if he can sing like Jeremy Irons. Who among us!

"Hear Me Out" Trends We Noticed

1. A lot of your "hear me out" characters are villains (or reluctant heroes). Draco, Shrek, Dabi, Zuko—you voted for the monster with a heart of gold, the villain who changes direction, and the baddie with a sympathetic backstory. You love a good redemption narrative—but even those bad guys who don't gain enough self-awareness to make a U-turn still garner your sympathy (and maybe rev your engine).
2. Many of the rest are ultra-sarcastic. Nick Wilde, Flynn Rider, Lightning McQueen—they say zoomers appreciate irony and sarcasm more than previous generations did, so maybe it makes sense that your HMOs exhibit some of those traits.^[1]
   • Irony is in, sincerity is out—at least on the surface. The fact that many of your HMOs are good at heart suggests that while sarcasm, nonchalance, and ironic indifference are attractive qualities, at the end of the day, you value genuineness and a strong sense of justice.
3. 6 of your "hear me outs" aren't human. There's a clear trend of "hear me outs" being nonhuman characters—one is even an inanimate object:
   • Nick Wilde – fox
   • Shrek – ogre
   • Venom – alien symbiote (maybe it'd be more accurate to say 5.5, since we assume that entry also includes his human counterpart, Eddie Brock)
   • Lola Bunny – bunny
   • Lightning McQueen – car
   • Scar – lion
4. 4 of your "hear me outs" have facial scars. Zuko and Scar both boast scars over one eye, Leo Valdez has a scar over his lip, and the entire lower half of Dabi's face is heavily scarred. We're not sure what to do with this information…but we thought it was interesting.
   • It's also possible, though never confirmed, that Draco Malfoy bears some facial and body scars after Harry inflicts the Sectumsempra curse on him in The Half-Blood Prince, which would up our total to 5.

"Hear Me Out" Trend Explained

1. This TikTok trend is all about sharing your weird or unconventional fictional crushes. "Hear me out" as a phrase has long been used as a way to indicate that the idea about to be suggested is, admittedly, controversial or unpopular. But in 2024, it gained traction online as a way to talk about fictional characters (often animated ones) internet users found themselves inexplicably attracted to, even though it was unconventional or even embarrassing.
   
   • Some popular "hear me out" characters not mentioned on this list include Randall from Monster's Inc., Daphne from Scooby Doo, and Barry B. Benson from Bee Movie.
   • The trend quickly evolved to include "hear me out" cakes…which are pretty much exactly what they sound like: internet users would bake (or order) cakes decorated with images of their controversial fictional crushes.^[2]
     • The first known example of this meme was in a TikTok video by @queridx.lx posted in January 2024 of a cake with dozens of images of their celebrity crushes on top…and one unexpected addition: our fave, Nick Wilde.
   • Didn't see your faves on this list? Want to discuss your most unexpected, nontraditional, and just plain unhinged "hear me outs" with other wikiHow users? Check out our "hear me out" forum.

References

1. ↑ https://www.nouse.co.uk/articles/2024/06/19/the-irony-of-irony-is-gen-z-scared-of-showing-sincerity-
2. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/hear-me-out-cake-trend

How to Be Positive

When we think of the word “positive,” most of us probably think “happy.” However, happiness isn’t the only type of positivity. There are many ways to be more positive in your life, even when you’re experiencing sadness, anger, or challenges.^[1] Research suggests that we have powerful capabilities to choose positive emotions and ways of thinking.^[2] In fact, our emotions literally change our bodies on a cellular level.^[3] Many of our experiences in life are a result of how we interpret and respond to our surroundings. Fortunately, rather than repressing or trying to “get rid” of negative feelings, we can choose to interpret and respond to them differently.^[4] You’ll find that with some practice, patience, and perseverance, you can become more positive.

Steps

Starting With Yourself

1. Accept where you are. You can't change the way you think if you can't (or won’t) identify the problem. Accepting that you have negative thoughts and feelings, and that you don’t enjoy how you’re currently responding to them, can help you begin the process of change.^[5]
   
   • Try not to judge yourself for your thoughts or feelings. Remember: the thoughts that pop up or the feelings you experience are not inherently “good” or “bad,” they’re just thoughts and feelings. What you can control is how you interpret and respond to them.
   • Accept the things about yourself that you can’t change, too. For example, if you’re an introverted person who needs quiet time alone to “recharge,” trying to be an extrovert all the time will probably just make you feel drained and unhappy. Accept yourself for who you are right now, just as you are. You can then feel free to develop that self into the most positive self you can be!
2. Make goals. Goals give us a more positive outlook on life. Research has shown that setting a realistic goal can make you feel immediately more confident and boost your self-efficacy, even if you don’t achieve the goal right away.^[6] Setting goals that are personally meaningful to you and align with your values will help you achieve them and move forward in your life.^[7]
   
   • Start small with your goals. Don't shoot for the moon right away. Slow and steady wins the race. Make your goals specific. The goal “be more positive” is great, but it’s so huge you probably won’t have any idea how to start. Instead, set smaller specific goals, like “Meditate twice a week” or “Smile at a stranger once a day.”^[8]
   • Word your goals positively. Research shows that you’re more likely to achieve your goals if you word them positively. In other words, make your goals something you’re working toward, not trying to avoid. For example: “Stop eating junk food” is an unhelpful goal. It can cause feelings of shame or guilt. “Eat 3 servings of fruit and vegetables each day” is specific and positive.^[9]
   • Keep your goals based on your own actions and centre yourself. Remember that you can’t control anyone else. If you set goals that require a certain response from others, you may end up feeling down if things don’t go as you hoped. Instead, set goals that depend on what you can control -- your own performance.^[10]
3. Practice loving-kindness meditation. Also known as metta bhavana or “compassion meditation,” this type of meditation has roots in Buddhist traditions.^[11] It teaches you to extend the feelings of love you already feel for your closest family members and extend it to others in the world. It’s also been shown to improve your resilience -- your ability to bounce back from negative experiences -- and your relationships with others in just a few weeks.^[12][13] You can see positive effects in as little as five minutes a day.
   
   • Many places offer courses in compassion meditation. You can also check out some guided MP3 meditations online. The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society and the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center both have free downloadable loving-kindness meditations.
   • It turns out that loving-kindness meditation is also good for your mental health. Studies have shown that compassion meditation decreases symptoms of depression, suggesting that learning compassion for others may also help you extend compassion to yourself.^[14]
4. Keep a journal. Recent research suggests there’s actually a mathematical formula for positivity: three positive emotions for every negative emotion seems to keep you in a healthy balance.^[15] Keeping a journal can help you see all of the emotional experiences in your day and determine where your own ratio needs adjustment. It can also help you focus on your positive experiences so that you’re more likely to remember them for later.^[16]
   
   • Keeping a journal should be more than just a list of things you didn’t like. Research suggests that focusing only on the negative emotions and experiences in your journal will reinforce them, leading you to feel more negative.^[17]
   • Instead, write down what you felt, without judging it as either good or bad. For example, a negative experience might look like this: “I felt hurt today when my coworker made a joke about my weight.”
   • Then, think about your response. How did you respond in the moment? How would you choose to respond now, with a little distance? For example: “In the moment, I felt horrible about myself, like I was worthless. Now thinking back on it, I realize that my coworker says insensitive things to everyone. Someone else can’t define me or my worth. Only I can do that.”
   • Try to think about how you can use these experiences as learning experiences. How can you use this for personal growth? What will you do next time? For example: “Next time someone says something hurtful, I will remember that their judgments do not define me. I will also tell my coworker that his comments are insensitive and hurt my feelings so that I remember my feelings are important.”
   • Remember to include the positive things in your journal too! Taking even a few moments to note down a kindness from a stranger, a beautiful sunset, or an enjoyable chat with a friend will help you “store” these memories so that you can recall them later. Unless you focus on them, they’re likely to pass right by your notice.
5. Practice active gratitude. Gratitude is more than a feeling, it’s a doing. Dozens of studies have shown that gratitude is good for you.^[18] It changes your perspective almost immediately, and the rewards keep growing the more you practice.^[19] Gratitude helps you feel more positive, enhances your relationships with others, encourages compassion, and increases feelings of happiness.^[20][21][22]
   
   • Some people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” the natural state of feeling thankful. However, you can foster an “attitude of gratitude” no matter what level of “trait gratitude” you naturally have!^[23]
   • In relationships and situations, avoid approaching them like you “deserve” something from them. This doesn’t mean that you believe you deserve nothing, and it doesn’t mean you put up with mistreatment or disrespect. It just means that you should try to approach things without feeling like you’re “entitled” to a certain result, action, or benefit.^[24]
   • Share your gratitude with others. Sharing your feelings of gratitude with others helps you “set” those feelings in your memory. It can also inspire positive feelings in the people you share with.^[25] See if you have a friend who’ll be your “gratitude partner” and share three things for which you’re grateful with each other every day.^[26]
   • Make an effort to recognize all the little positive things that happen throughout the day. Write them down in a journal, snap photos for your Instagram, write about them on Twitter -- whatever helps you recognize and remember these small things for which you’re grateful. For example, if your blueberry pancakes turned out just right, or the traffic to work wasn’t bad, or your friend gave you a compliment on your outfit, note these things! They add up quickly.^[27]
   • Savor these good things. Humans have a bad tendency to focus on the negative stuff and let the positive things slide right past us. When you note the positive things in your life, take a moment to mindfully acknowledge them. Try to “store them” in your memory. For example, if you see a beautiful flower garden on your daily walk, stop for a moment and tell yourself, “This is a beautiful moment, and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it.” Try to take a mental “snapshot” of the moment. Doing so can help you remember these things later, when you’re having a hard time or a negative experience.^[28]
6. Use self-affirmations. Self-affirmations may seem a little cheesy, but research suggests that they work on a fundamental level; they can actually form new “positive thought” neuron clusters. Remember: your brain likes to use short-cuts, and it will short-cut to use the pathways that are used most frequently. If you make it a regular habit to say compassionate things to yourself, your brain will come to see that as the “norm.”^[29] Positive self-talk and self-affirmations can also reduce stress and depression, boost your immune system, and increase your coping skills.^[30]
   
   • Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. You might choose to use affirmations that show compassion to your body, to your thoughts about yourself, or to remind yourself of your spiritual traditions. Whatever makes you feel positive and tranquil about yourself, do it!
   • For example, you might say something like “My body is healthy and my mind is beautiful” or “Today I will do my best to be kind” or “Today my deity/spiritual figure is with me as I go through the day.”
   • If you struggle with a particular area, try actively focusing on finding positive affirmations in that area. For example, if you have body image issues, try saying something like, “I am beautiful and strong” or “I can learn to love myself as I love others” or “I am worthy of love and respect.”
7. Cultivate optimism. Researchers in the 1970s discovered that among people who had won the lottery -- an event that most of us probably think of as incredibly positive -- were no happier after a year than people who hadn’t. This is because of hedonic adaptation: humans have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return after external events (good or bad).^[31] However, even if your natural baseline is pretty low, you can actively cultivate optimism. Optimism improves your self-esteem, overall sense of well-being, and relationships with others.^[32][33]
   
   • Optimism is a way of interpreting the world. Thanks to the human brain’s flexibility, you can learn different ways of interpreting!^[34] Pessimistic outlooks view the world in unchangeable, internalized terms: “Everything is unfair,” “I’ll never be able to change this,” “My life sucks and it’s my fault.” An optimistic outlook views the world in flexible, limited terms.^[35]
   • For example, a pessimistic outlook might look at the big cello recital you have next week and say, “I already suck at cello. I’m going to botch the recital anyway. I might as well just play Nintendo.” This statement makes an assumption that your cello skills are innate and permanent, rather than something you can influence with hard work. It also makes a global blaming statement about you -- “I suck at cello” -- that makes it seem like your cello skills are a personal failing, rather than a skill that needs practice. This pessimistic outlook could mean you don’t practice the cello because you feel like it’s pointless, or you feel guilty because you’re “bad” at something. Neither is helpful.
   • An optimistic outlook would approach this situation something like this: “That big cello recital is next week, and I’m not happy with where I’m at right now. I’m going to practice an extra hour every day until the recital, and then just do my best. That’s all I can do, but at least I’ll know I worked as hard as I could to succeed.” Optimism doesn’t say challenges and negative experiences don’t exist. It chooses to interpret them differently.
   • There’s a big difference between true optimism and “blind” optimism. Blind optimism might expect that you pick up the cello for the first time and get admitted to the Juilliard School. This isn’t realistic, and such expectations could leave you disappointed. True optimism acknowledges the reality of your situation and allows you to prepare yourself to face them. A truly optimistic perspective might instead expect that you’ll need to work hard for several years and even then you might not be admitted to your dream school, but you will have done all that you can to achieve your goal.^[36]
8. Learn to reframe negative experiences. One of the mistakes people make is trying to avoid or ignore negative experiences. This makes sense, on some level, because they’re painful. However, trying to repress or ignore these experiences actually damages your ability to deal with them.^[37] Instead, consider how you can reframe these experiences. Can you learn from them? Can you view them differently?
   
   • For example, consider inventor Myshkin Ingawale. In a 2012 TED Talk, Ingawale told the story about how he invented technology to save pregnant women’s lives in rural India. The first 32 times he tried to invent his device, it didn’t work. Again and again, he was faced with the opportunity to interpret his experience as failure and give up. However, he chose to use these experiences to learn from past challenges, and now his invention has helped reduce deaths of pregnant women in rural India by 50%.^[38]
   • As another example, consider Dr. Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust. Despite being faced with the worst of humanity, Dr. Frankl chose to interpret his situation on his own terms, writing that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”^[39]
   • Instead of letting yourself immediately respond to a challenge or negative experience with negativity, take a step back and examine the situation. What really went wrong? What is really at stake? What can you learn from this to do differently next time? Has this experience taught you to be kinder, more generous, wiser, stronger? Taking a moment to reflect on the experience, rather than automatically seeing it as negative, will help you re-interpret it.
9. Use your body. Your body and your mind are intimately connected. If you’re struggling to feel positive, it could be because your body is working against you. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that your posture can even affect the levels of stress hormones in your body.^[40] Try standing up straight. Hold your shoulders back and your chest forward. Hold your gaze in front of you. Take up space. This is called a “power pose,” and it can actually help you feel more confident and optimistic.^[41][42]
   
   • Smile. Research suggests that when you smile -- whether you “feel” happy or not -- your brain elevates your mood.^[43] This is particularly true if you use a duchenne smile, which activates the muscles around your eyes as well as your mouth. People who smiled during painful medical procedures even reported less pain than people who didn’t.
   • Dress in a way that expresses yourself. What you wear affects how you feel. One study showed that people who wore lab coats while performing a simple scientific task performed much better than people who didn’t wear lab coats -- even though the coat was the only difference!^[44] Find clothes that make you feel good about yourself and wear them, no matter what society tries to say about it. And don’t get hung up on investing your size with any meaning: clothing sizes are completely arbitrary, and one store’s size 4 is another store’s size 12.^[45][46] Remember, no random number determines your worth!
10. Get some exercise. When you exercise, your body releases powerful endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals.^[47] Exercise can help fight feelings of anxiety and depression. Studies have also shown that regular, moderate exercise increases your feelings of calmness and well-being.^[48]
    
    • Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day.^[49]
    • You don’t have to be a bodybuilder to get the effects of exercise, either. Even moderate exercises like jogging, swimming, or gardening can help you feel more positive overall.
    • Exercises that include meditation, such as yoga and tai chi, can also help you feel more positive and increase your overall health.^[50]
11. Create life from within. If you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.
    
12. Don't sweat the small stuff. Everyone in life is confronted with things that seem important at the time but aren't really an issue if we step back and have proper perspective. Research has shown that those material things that may be getting you down won’t actually make you happy. In fact, focusing on things is often a way to make up for other needs that aren’t fulfilled.^[51] Research suggests that we need five basic things to flourish in life:^[52]
    
    • Positive emotions
    • Engagement (getting really involved or swept up in something)
    • Relationships with others
    • Meaning
    • Accomplishment
    • Remember that you can define what these things mean for yourself! Don’t get hung up on what others have defined as “meaning” or “accomplishment.” If you don’t find personal meaning in what you do and how you act, you won’t feel good about it. Material objects, fame, and money really won’t make you happy.

Surrounding Yourself With Positive Influences

1. Use the Law of Attraction. Our activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As we avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as it is — or gets worse. Our own negativity rules the day. But, the more we think positively, the more proactively we will act and reach goals and ways to overcome and accept positive options — and these will bring their rewards. In fact, positive thoughts can even boost your immune system!^[53]
   
2. Do things you love to do. It sounds simple, but it's hard to execute sometimes. Your life may be very busy, so carve some tasks into your day that consistently make you happy. When you do something that you love, you are distracted from being sad or negative. Some positive activities that you can do are:
   
   • Listening to music. Listen to the genre you like.
   • Reading. Reading is good for you. It can even teach you empathy.^[54] And, if you’re reading non-fiction, it can help you learn new information and perspectives on the world.
   • Creative expression, e.g. painting, writing, origami, etc.
   • Sports, hobbies, etc.
   • Being with friends and family.
   • The awe-inspiring. Studies show that the feeling of awe or wonderment you experience when you’re walking in nature, viewing a stunning painting, or listening to your favorite symphony is great for your health, both physically and mentally. Find ways to incorporate a little wonder into your life whenever you can.^[55]
3. Surround yourself with friends. Appreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through both the good and bad times.^[56]
   
   • Studies have shown that people who surround themselves with friends who have similar values and outlooks are more likely to feel happy and positive about their lives than people who don’t.
   • Interacting with people you love causes your brain to release neurotransmitters that make you feel happy (dopamine) and relaxed (serotonin). Spending time with friends and loved ones will actually make you feel more positive on a chemical level!
   • You can also encourage your friends and loved ones to become your gratitude partners. If you foster a network of sharing things you’re grateful for, imagine the positivity that you can help each other develop!
4. Show compassion to others. Compassion is doing something kind for someone else, especially if that person is less privileged than you are. It can really boost your positivity. For example, research has shown that when people give to charity, they actually feel as happy as they do when they get the money themselves! Think of ways that you can serve others, whether it’s on an individual level or in your community, and practice showing compassion. Not only is it good for others, it’s even good for your health!^[57]
   
   • Like leads to like. If we do something nice for someone else, especially if it's unexpected, there's a higher chance that person will pay the favor back, maybe not directly to us, but to someone else. Eventually, in a direct or indirect way, it'll make its way back to us. Some people call this karma. Whatever it’s called, scientific studies have shown that the “pay it forward” principle is a real thing.^[58]
   • Try tutoring, volunteering, or ask your church how you can get involved.
   • Make a microloan to someone in need. A microloan of even a few dollars to a person in a developing country can help her grow her business or become economically independent. And most microloans have 95+ repayment rates, too.
   • Try giving little gifts to people around you, even strangers. Buy a random person in line a cup of coffee. Send a friend something you made with him in mind. Giving gifts stimulates the production of dopamine in your brain -- in fact, you may even get a bigger “happiness rush” from it than the person getting the gift!^[59]
5. Find an optimistic quote or saying and keep it in your wallet or pocket. When you're a little unsure or feeling like a pick-me-up, check it for a quick reference. Here are some famous quotes you might start off with:^[60]
   
   • How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ― Anne Frank
   • The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. ― James Branch Cabell
   • The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ― Oprah Winfrey
   • If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. ― Vincent van Gogh
6. See a therapist. A common misperception is that people only “need” to see a counselor or therapist when there’s something “wrong.” But consider: you go to the dentist for cleanings, even when you don’t have cavities. You go to the doctor for annual checkups, even if you’re not sick. Seeing a therapist can also be a helpful “preventive” technique. And if you want to learn how to think and behave more positively, a therapist or counselor can help you identify unhelpful patterns in your thinking and develop new, positive strategies.^[61]
   
   • You can ask your physician for a referral, or check out directories online. If you have health insurance, your provider can tell you about counselors in your network.
   • Low-cost options often exist. Check online for mental health clinics, community health centers, even public-service counseling centers run by colleges and universities.

Avoiding Negative Influences

1. Avoid negative influences. Humans are highly susceptible to “emotional contagion,” meaning that the feelings of those around us influence our own.^[62] Steer clear of bad behavior and negativity so that it will not rub off on you.
   
   • Choose your friends wisely. The friends we surround ourselves with can have an overwhelming impact on our outlooks — both good and bad. If your friends are always being negative, consider sharing your own positivity process with them. Encourage them to learn ways of being positive, too. If they’re still bent on staying negative, you may need to detach from them for your own sake.
   • Do only what you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, you're likely to feel bad, guilty, or concerned about doing it. That doesn't make for a positive experience. Learning to say "no" to things you don't want to do can help you feel stronger and more at ease with yourself.^[63] This is true with friends and loved ones and in work situations.^[64][65]
2. Challenge negative thoughts. It’s easy to get swept up into a pattern of “automatic” or habitual negative thinking, especially about ourselves. We can become our own harshest critics. Each time you encounter a negative thought, take the time to challenge it.^[66] Try to turn it into a positive thought or find the logical flaw in the negative thought. If you do this long enough, it will become habitual, and it'll make a tremendous difference in improving your positive thinking skills. Say "I can!" more than "I can't!" Remember, everything can be framed positively; make a relentless effort to do so.^[67][68][69]
   
   • For example, if you get angry and snap at a friend, your instinct might be to think, “I’m a horrible person.” This is a cognitive distortion: it makes a general statement about a specific incident. It creates feelings of guilt but not anything that you can use to learn from.
   • Instead, accept responsibility for your action and consider what you should do in response. For example: “I snapped at my friend, which probably hurt her feelings. I was wrong. I will apologize to her, and next time, I will ask to take a little break when we’re discussing something intense.” This way of thinking doesn’t generalize yourself as “horrible,” but as a person who made a mistake and can learn and grow from it.
   • If you find that you frequently have negative thoughts about yourself (or others), make it a habit to find three positive things to say about yourself for every negative one. For example, if the thought shows up that you’re “stupid,” challenge that thought with three positive ones: “I’m having the thought that I’m stupid. But just last week I finished that big project to rave reviews. I have solved difficult problems in the past. I am a capable person and am just having a hard time right now.”
   • Even when we don't get what we want, we gain valuable experience. Experiences are often much more valuable than material things. Material things slowly waste away; experiences stay with us, growing, our entire lives.
   • There are both positive and negative aspects in most situations. We get to choose which ones we will focus on. We can try to catch ourselves when we're being negative and try thinking the opposite.
   • There's no sense in worrying about the negatives if they cannot be changed. Some parts of life are "unfair." That's because life just "is." If we waste energy and happiness on the things we can't change, we'll only make ourselves more frustrated.
3. Deal with past traumas. If you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy, upset, or negative, you may have some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. Seek professional help in dealing with traumas, such as past abuse, exposure to stresses, natural disasters, grief, and loss.
   
   • Look for a licensed mental health professional, particularly one who specializes in treating trauma if you can find one. Working through your traumas with a counselor or therapist can be difficult, even painful, but you will emerge stronger and more positive at the end.^[70]
4. Don't be afraid of failure. To paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We will fall down and make mistakes. It's about how we get back up again that counts. If we're expecting to succeed, but not afraid of failure, we have the best chance of staying positive throughout it all.
   

Video

Reader Videos

Tips

• Every morning, look in the mirror and think about five good qualities you have.
• Don't give up. Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.
• Remember that we control our thoughts. If we're thinking negatively, we can change it anytime by thinking about something positive.
• Making progress is a success. If you are positively engaging events within yourself - in your thoughts - then there is no goal in which you cannot make progress. Our engaged goals are powerful.
• Keep a 'sunshine' file filled with cards and letters you have received from family and friends. Pull out the file when you feel low; remind yourself you matter to people. These people love and care about you. It's hard to be down when you know you bring joy to so many people.
• When you feel like you're about to break, take a deep breath, count to 10, have a drink of water, and smile. Even if the smile is forced, it is still a smile, and it will make you feel better.
• Encourage others. It's hard to be pessimistic when you are trying to lift up someone else's spirits.
• When you are not in a mood to think about anything but want some comfort from negative feelings, just try looking at some positive images or images for happiness in the Internet.
• Don't punish yourself for everything! Look at what has worked and what hasn't worked, and remember it the next time.
• Think about what you did that made a person happy or what you did to help a person. Think about when you helped someone in a simple or difficult situation. To feel like a good person, you can do something nice to a person, which will not only make the person feel happy, but will also make you feel good about yourself.
• Even though the downs of life you may really regret, try not to think about them too much and focus more on the here and now. Thinking positively about yourself usually changes how others think about you, too.
• When you are sad, grab your phone and chat with the person that is closest to you. Take a deep breath and try to have a short nap.
• If you see a hate page for a person or group of people on Instagram or other social media sites, report it!

Warnings

• Beware of those who do not want to be positive. Look for guidance from positive people.

Related wikiHows

• Live Your Best Life
• Eradicate and Stop Negative Thoughts
• Be Optimistic
• Improve Your Body Image
• Become Positive, Happy and Optimistic
• Inspire Others to Create a Positive and Productive Atmosphere

References

Quick Summary

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16. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
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25. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
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27. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
28. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
29. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/affirmations_b_3527028.html
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31. ↑ Brickman, P., & Campbell, D.T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M.H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory (pp.287-302). New York: Academic Press
32. ↑ Caprara, G.V. & Steca, P. (2005). Affective and social self-regulatory efficacy beliefs as determinants of positive thinking and happiness. European Psychologist, 10(4), pp. 275-286.
33. ↑ Diener, E., & Diener, M. (1995). Cross cultural correlates of life satisfaction and self esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68, pp. 653-663.
34. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201306/how-optimism-can-be-learned
35. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf
36. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201306/how-optimism-can-be-learned
37. ↑ https://www.personal.kent.edu/~dfresco/CBT_Readings/JCP_Blackledge_%26_Hayes_2001.pdf
38. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2013/04/21/brene-brown-how-vulnerability-can-make-our-lives-better/
39. ↑ https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/03/26/viktor-frankl-mans-search-for-meaning/
40. ↑ https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are/transcript?language=en
41. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-for-relationships/201409/6-ways-to-become-more-positive-today
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57. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/compassion/definition#why_practice
58. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/16/opinion/sunday/the-science-of-paying-it-forward.html
59. ↑ https://www.activitysuperstore.com/blog/psychology-of-gift-giving
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65. ↑ https://fortune.com/2014/08/19/why-saying-no-gets-you-ahead/
66. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/13/positive-thinking-day-steps_n_5810744.html
67. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=2
68. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination
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