How to Become a Professional Organizer

You've always loved reordering the Tupperware drawer, making study schedules for your friends, and organizing your closet—and as a professional organizer, you can make a living off of your passion! So, how can you make your dream a reality? Because most professional organizers work as freelance consultants, the trick is finding and keeping clients. In this article, we'll teach you everything you need to know about becoming a professional organizer, including the experience, skills, and training required. Read on to get started!

Steps

Important Skills

1. Organizational skills. Make sure you have a real knack for creating order—especially in the area of your chosen specialty. Maybe you’re that friend who calls everyone to make sure they’ve packed the right things for vacation. Maybe, when friends are moving, they call you for help (because they know you'll make the process feel super easy!).^[1]
   
   • If you’re looking to organize spaces, you probably have an ultra-organized bedroom and home.
   • If you’re planning on organizing peoples’ schedules, you’re probably always on time and manage a busy schedule flawlessly.
2. Understanding. Tons of people who reach out to organizers feel a little guilty or ashamed. They may feel like, because they need help creating order in their life, that there’s something wrong with them. An excellent organizer will know how to accept and show empathy to their clients.
   
3. Creativity. Professional organization isn't always as straightforward as it seems. You may have tons of unexpected challenges thrown your way and to deal with them, you may need to be quick on your feet and think outside of the box.^[2]
   
   • Say your client realizes they have way more stuff than they thought they did, but you only booked one moving truck—what will you do?
4. Communication. Whether it’s selling your skills, managing difficult clients, or hiring out other services to help with a job—the ability to communicate well is huge for a professional organizer. Do you know how to get your point across clearly and efficiently?^[3]
   
   • Not only will this make the people you work with appreciate you even more, but it can also make your role much easier to manage.

Training & Certification

1. You don’t need any certifications or training to get started. It’s a myth that you need any degrees, certifications, or licenses to get started as a professional organizer. Having a certification lends you more credibility down the line. But to begin on your path towards certification, you actually need to keep gaining experience in the field.^[4]
   
   • Marketing and salesmanship can make up for a lack of certification. You never know, you could find clients willing to pay top rates—even without formal training!
2. Work 1500 paid hours over 3 years to get certified with NAPO. The National Association of Productivity & Organizing has its own specific set of requirements. First, earn a high school degree. Then, complete and document 1500 hours of paid work. Once you’ve completed those requirements, sit for the certification test (which lasts roughly 2 hours and costs $450). If you pass the test, you’re in the clear.^[5]
   
   • Completing your paid work takes ~3 years, but must be completed in at least 5 years.
   • Every year, pay $100 to keep your certification active. Every 3 years, take steps to get recertified. Either retake the CPO exam or take 45 hours of courses.
3. Take classes and do work over ~2 years to get certified with ICD. The Institute for Challenging Disorganization is the go-to for educating soon-to-be professional organizers. There are 3 courses and levels, and once you complete all 3, you’re granted CPO (Certified Professional Organizer) status. Again, these courses take place ‘’while’’ you’re working as an organizer. To satisfy your Level III requirements, you’ll need to have worked for 2 years.^[6]
   
   • Level 1: This covers your career basics, like hoarding behaviors, interpersonal relations, and even working with clients suffering from ADHD.
   • Level 2: At this stage, you learn more about your specialization. If you want to help with productivity or older clients, you'll cover this information in II.
   • Level III: At this point, you'll have spent 17-20 months studying. You’ll take more advanced courses and spend 18 hours working with a mentor in your field. Then, you're CPO certified!

Getting Your Career off the Ground

1. Choose your specialty. Professional organizers have the option of specializing their skillsets and clientele. Explore your options and read up on specializations that might be the perfect fit for you. Reflect on what draws you most to organization. Are you interested in the interpersonal aspect or solo work? Do you love the idea of helping people who really need it? There are so many paths to take, for example:^[7]
   
   • Help people organize their time. Specialize in coaching, time management, or productivity.
   • Organize physical spaces. Choose a specialty in moving, attics/basements, or storage units.
   • Help people with their specific, personal hurdles. Help seniors, people with ADHD, or children.
2. Get the word out through friends and family. Your first few clients are crucial—they help you get experience, references, and more referral clients down the line. Share your plans with friends and family and ask them to discuss with their connections, too. Then, even though these are people you already know well (and you'll definitely stay friends either way) it's best to challenge yourself, right from the get-go.^[8]
   
   • Consider making business cards with your specialty, that way your pals can pass those out to their friends, too.
   • Ask early clients to write you a review if you can. That way, you’ll have it on file to impress future customers.
   • Work out the kinks with clients you already know. Ask these customers about how you can improve, then brainstorm ways to raise the bar for yourself.
3. Leverage social media to gain more clients. To expand your clientele, the internet will be your super tool. Create business accounts, share them with your connections from your personal account, and ask friends to share your business page, too. Continue trying to build your reach by friending people, joining online professional groups, and inviting clients to like and share your page.
   
   • Or, go the extra mile and make a webpage for your business. This way, as your business grows, people can ask questions, book time, and look at your success stories—all on your site.
   • Sites like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, and Youtube are great for building a following and getting the word out.
4. Get comfortable with selling yourself. You’re getting started in this career for a reason—you’re a passionate, detail-oriented, hard worker. Don’t be afraid to let potential clients know! Be upfront about the value you bring to the table. Avoid self-effacing comments, because they may make you look less confident. Highlight your skills, successes, experience, and qualifications.
   
   • You know that your skills can change your clients' lives, so communicate that when a client is interested in your work.
   • Get comfortable giving your elevator pitch to people when they're curious. Whether it's a grocery store isle or a wedding, you never know where you could meet your next big client!
   • Even though it might feel a little strange, your competition is doing this same thing, so you should be too.
5. Remember that empathy and understanding are marketable skills, too. When someone needs help from a professional organizer, they might feel embarrassed. Plus, your client might need help because of a major life event—so make sure you’re offering emotional support, too. Focus on being an active listener and not judging them.
   
   • If a client moves because they’ve split with their partner (and they call you to help), let them know that you’re sorry they’re going through a tough time.
   • If you’re working with a hoarder who’s embarrassed about their living situation, remind them that you would never judge them.
6. Offer great deals to win clients while you're still getting started. To build up your base, give discounts to clients at the beginning. Before you have references or experience to speak of, clients might feel like they're taking a chance by hiring you. But by giving them an amazing rate, you lower the risk. Even when you’ve been a professional for years, this practice can do wonders. You could try:^[9]
   
   • Offering your first few customers half-price rates
   • Offering first-time customers a free initial consultation session
   • Offering customers discounted hours if they refer you to a new client
7. Invest in coaching, memberships, and conferences. Expand your skills and connections by getting involved in the professional organizer community. Attend virtual or in-person conferences and consider gaining membership to well-known organizations. Note that some of these options are free, some will charge a fee.^[10]
   
   • The American Society for Professional Organizers offers extra resources for their members and coursework for those looking to expand their knowledge.
   • The National Association for Productivity and Organization offers a conference each year in April and additional coursework, too.

Are professional organizers in demand?

1. Corporate organizers are becoming popular, which could raise demand. Companies are investing more in new things, like community and mentorship, and it leaves gaps in their workloads. Namely, corporate and office organization can fall by the wayside. If this trend continues and more organizers are hired in the corporate world (and not just by individuals!), the job outlook for professional organizers could continue to grow. ^[11]
   

How much money do professional organizers make?

1. Rates vary widely, but the average yearly salary in the US is $76,000 a year. If you’re working for yourself, you set your own hours, rates, and clientele. So in short: the sky is the limit. Some professional organizers find clients who are thrilled to pay them upwards of $150 an hour (which is much higher than the average hourly rate: $36).^[12]
   
   • Professional organizers also enjoy a high job satisfaction and flexibility.

References

1. ↑ https://climbtheladder.com/professional-organizer/
2. ↑ https://climbtheladder.com/professional-organizer/
3. ↑ https://climbtheladder.com/professional-organizer/
4. ↑ https://www.qcdesignschool.com/educational-requirements-for-professional-organizers/
5. ↑ https://www.napo.net/page/Certification
6. ↑ https://www.challengingdisorganization.org/level-iii-cpo-cd-
7. ↑ https://myspacematters.com/professional-organizer-type/
8. ↑ https://www.roomsneedlove.com/2021/09/13/how-to-become-a-professional-organizer/
9. ↑ https://myspacematters.com/7-ways-to-get-clients-for-your-professional-organizing-business/
10. ↑ https://www.theorganizedbusiness.org/professional-organizer-certification/
11. ↑ https://climbtheladder.com/professional-organizer/
12. ↑ https://www.zippia.com/professional-organizer-jobs/

How to Improve Motivation

If you're struggling to find motivation, you're not alone. We all get stuck sometimes and have a hard time finding the focus and drive we need to get moving again. The good news is that there are easy things you can do today to increase your motivation immediately and in the long term. To help you out, we've compiled a variety of ways you can increase motivation and find the inspiration you need to start checking things off your to-do list.

Steps

Working Towards Goals

1. Keep your goals small and measurable. It’s great to have big goals for yourself, but you need to shrink them down in order to make them easier to accomplish. Break your larger goals down into small goals. Then identify criteria to help you measure them.^[1]
   
   • For example, your big goal might be to publish a novel. You could set yourself a small goal of creating an outline or finishing a chapter. This goal is easy to measure because it’ll be complete when the outline or chapter is finished.
   • Similarity, your big goal might be to run a marathon. You might set a small goal of running a 5K. You could measure this goal by tracking how far you run every day or by signing up for a race.
2. Create an action plan for your goals. You can create an overall plan to reach your big goal, or you can narrow it down to your small goals. Include what you want to achieve, the steps you will take to achieve it, and how you will measure success.
   
   • For example, your big goal could be to run a marathon, and your small goals could consist of running a mile, running a 5K, running a 10K, and running a half marathon.
   • Don’t get bogged down in the details. Write out a basic framework for your action plan, then get started working toward your goals. You can always change or add to the plan later.
   • Keep it basic with a brief outline. You don’t need to plan every detail. For example, you could start your marathon action plan by just focusing on the steps you need to take to run a complete mile, such as buy new shoes, download a running app, and run 3 times a week.
3. Display your action plan where you can see it every day. You can post them in your home, place them in your planner, or make them your digital wallpaper. Refer to it daily to see if you’re on track. It’s okay to get behind sometimes, but your action plan can get you back on track.^[2]
   
   • Try posting your plan on your refrigerator.
   • If you have a workspace, post your plan there.
   • Choose a place that’s easy for you to reference.
4. Connect hard tasks and obstacles back to their purpose. This helps you push through and keep going when things are tough. Every goal comes with hard work and obstacles, and it’s normal for motivation to decrease. You can stay motivated by giving these difficult times more purpose.^[3]
   
   • For example, running bleachers at your local track may not be fun, but they can improve your physical condition to help your athletic performance.
   • Similarly, getting a lot of criticism on a poem you wrote may make you feel discouraged, but it can help you improve the poem and grow as a writer.
5. Track your progress. Seeing how far you’ve come can be a huge motivator! Keep track of all of your accomplishments, both great and small. Even a single step toward your goal is progress, so give yourself that credit!
   
   • Write down all of your achievements so that you can read over them when you feel discouraged.
   • You could also create a visual reminder of your progress. If your goal is to run a marathon, you might put up a poster with a trail on it. Divide the trail into 26.2 separate sections. Each time you increase your running distance, color in another section.
6. Reward yourself for hard work and persistence. Rewards encourage you to stay on track toward your goal. Choose a reward that appeals to you. If possible, choose something that helps you work toward your goals. Here are some great ideas:
   
   • You could reward sticking to a goal of writing every day by treating yourself to a new notebook.
   • Get a massage to reward yourself for meeting your running goals.
   • Enjoy a special meal with friends after turning down plans so that you can work on your goal.
   • Take a bubble bath.
   • Buy a set of weight gloves to celebrate your kickboxing progress.
   • Treat yourself to a yoga session.
   • Enjoy a good book.
7. Do something you enjoy every day. Even working toward something you love can feel overwhelming, so take time for yourself. Spend at least a few minutes every day treating yourself to something you love, whether it’s an episode of your favorite TV show, a favorite treat, or coffee with a friend. This will help you stay motivated when times get tough.
   
8. Prepare yourself for setbacks. Setbacks are part of life, and they happen to everyone. They don’t mean that you’re a failure! Make a brief plan for how you’ll overcome any obstacles that arrive, and remind yourself that you can do it.
   
   • For example, your plan may be to talk to a friend that motivates you, take a day to brainstorm solutions, and then complete a small task that can help you complete your goal.
   • Say to yourself, “This is all part of the journey. I can overcome this obstacle just like I’ve overcome them in the past.”

Creating the Right Mindset

1. Choose a mantra or set of mantras that motivate you. You can create a mantra yourself or use a quote. Make a habit of saying your mantra aloud at scheduled times during the day, such as when you wake up, at lunch, or right before bed. It’s also helpful to post your mantras.^[4]
   
   • Examples of great mantras include “Every day is a new beginning and a chance for change,” “I’m strong, powerful, and can achieve my goals,” and “If I believe it, I can achieve it.”
   • If you want to post your mantras, you can use something basic like post-it notes, or you can opt for art prints that incorporate the quote. Post them on your refrigerator, near your bathroom mirror, or on the walls of your home. Choose a place where you'll see them every day.
   • Focus on saying your mantra over and over again, even if it doesn't feel true to you. Using mantras is twofold—it's saying it to your yourself, but also practicing, embodying, and living into that mantra.^[5]
2. Use positive self-talk. Everyone has an internal voice, and it’s not always friendly. Turning that voice toward the positive, however, can change your life for the better. You can do this by catching negative thoughts and reframing them in a positive way. Additionally, consciously tell yourself positive things about yourself, your life, and your goals.^[6]
   
   • For example, your mind may say to you, “You’re not good enough.” You can switch this around and say, “I am good enough, but sometimes I get overwhelmed when faced with challenges. Tomorrow things will look different.”
   • In general, tell yourself things like, “I’m proud of myself for working hard every day,” “I’ve accomplished a lot, and the best is yet to come,” and “I know I can do this if I keep working hard.”
3. Boost your confidence via an accomplishment. This is especially helpful for people with long-term goals. Complete a mini-goal that’s related to your long-term goal, or try something that’s always intimidated you. Keep in mind that accomplishing something can mean just giving it a try.^[7]
   
   • For example, if your goal is to perform your own music, you could boost your confidence by participating in an open mic night.
   • If you’re feeling like you’re in a life rut, you could accomplish something bold from your bucket list, such as skydiving. This will give you a sense of control over what you’re doing with your life, which helps your motivation.
4. Reframe activities that you don’t enjoy. It’s normal to not enjoy parts of your journey toward your goal. You may love your job but hate parts of your workday, or you might want to run a cross-country marathon but hate running hills. You can alter your perception of something by imagining it getting dimmer and then inserting new emotions about it. For example, imagine that your stress about deadlines is fading away, then imagine how good you feel when you finish a project^[8]
   
   • Focus on the aspects of these activities that you enjoy or that benefit you. For example, running up hills may be difficult, but it also gives you a better view of the landscape.
   • One way to do this is to focus on what you are actually doing and feeling while you do the activities you don’t enjoy. For example, you may hate work meetings, but you could focus on the change of scenery, the opportunity to chat with your coworkers, or the chance to make a good impression on your boss.^[9]
5. Connect with others who share your goals. Make friends who are on a similar journey as you, or join a group for like-minded individuals. They can be awesome motivators to stay on track, and they may even have useful advice for times when you’re struggling.
   
   • Look for like-minded friends online or at places related to your goal. For example, you could attend an open mic night to meet other aspiring musicians.
   • You can also look for groups on sites like meetup.com.
   • Don’t spend time with people who are dragging you down. Instead, choose your motivators.
6. Compare yourself to past you, not others. It’s so tempting to compare yourself to other people, but this is always a mistake. No matter how well you are doing, you will always rank yourself second. It’s better to compare yourself to you! Consider where you were in the past and where you are now. Try to be better than past you was.
   
   • When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, remind yourself that you’re likely seeing their highlight reel -- not the nitty gritty of every day. The only fair comparison is between you and yourself.
   • Make a list of your positive traits and accomplishments to remind yourself of how far you’ve already come!
7. Make a gratitude list. By acknowledging everything you have to be grateful for, you can create the positive mindset you need to stay motivated. Write down everything good in your life, especially the things you’ve worked hard to get. Post your list somewhere you can see it, such as on your refrigerator or on your phone’s lockscreen.^[10]>
   
   • It’s best to make gratitude lists often. You might even write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for every day.
   • Over time, your gratitude list will make you feel more positive about your life, which helps improve your motivation to keep working toward what’s important to you.

Beating Procrastination

1. Spend time working on your goal every day. When you’re actively working toward your goal, your body releases dopamine, which is the hormone that helps you take action. Luckily, you can increase your dopamine with even a small amount of progress. Even if you can only spend 15 minutes working toward your goal on a given day, you’ll see results.^[11]
   
2. Avoid overthinking about your work and goals. Thinking too much can actually be counterproductive for two reasons. First, it keeps you in your head, preventing you from taking action. Second, it results in you thinking up possible problems that will likely never come to pass. When you catch yourself getting buried in your thoughts, take action, starting with a small task. Checking off that task will get you back on track.^[12]
   
   • When you start to overthink, write down what’s on your mind, then try to create a to-do list so that you can get to work. You may not be able to address all of your concerns today, but you can make some progress.
3. Build your routines around your goals. Whether you’re working on personal or professional goals, it’s important to have routines. Get into the habit of setting aside blocks of time to accomplish the tasks you need to do.^[13]
   
   • For example, get up early every day to work on your goal, such as going for an early morning run or spending an hour working on your manuscript.
   • Start your workday the same way each day. For example, you might check off the easiest things on your to-do list that day, respond to emails, or create a daily action plan.
   • Develop a post-lunch habit that helps you get back on track. For example, you could schedule all of your meetings for right after lunch to help you immediately get back on task.
4. Take control over your own schedule. People and other responsibilities will demand parts of your time. It’s up to you to balance your schedule to ensure that you have time for everything. That means that sometimes you will need to say “no” to some things to make time for others. Don’t live your life according to what others want -- spend your time doing what’s important to you.
   
   • Schedule appointments with yourself so that you can pursue personal goals. You can also use this time to do things that make you happy.
5. Learn to say "no" to things you don’t want to do. When someone asks for your time and it conflicts with working toward your goal, it’s okay to say no without guilt. Set boundaries to protect your time, and practice saying “no” to people. When the time comes, give the person a compliment and then gently turn them down.
   
   • Say, “Your Halloween party sounds so fun, but I’ve already committed to something that day.”
   • You don’t have to explain why you aren’t going, so don’t feel pressured to justify your decision.
6. Ask for help if you need it. Sometimes you might find yourself procrastinating because you’ve encountered a difficulty, such as a hard task or a lack of resources. When this happens, ask for help! Everyone needs help sometimes.
   
   • For example, you may need the person you live with to cut you some slack around the house so that you can meet a deadline.
   • You might ask your running friends for help staying hydrated during long runs.
   • You could borrow a piece of equipment that you need.

How Do You Motivate Yourself To Achieve Your Goals?

Help Finding Motivation

Examples of Positive vs. Negative Self Talk

Examples of Positive vs. Negative Self Talk

Fun Rewards for Meeting Your Goals

Fun Rewards for Meeting Your Goals

Motivation Mantras

Motivation Mantras

Tips

• Working toward a goal and celebrating the small achievements along the way may help sustain your motivation.
• Steady progress can lead to the desire to create new and more challenging goals.
• As you enjoy success, your motivation will increase and you may not only meet but exceed your goals.
• Your goals might also change slightly as you complete steps towards your main goal.

Related wikiHows

• Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling
• Be Self Motivated
• Get Motivated
• Accomplish a Goal
• Stay Focused

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting/
2. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/life-planning.html
3. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/physical-activity-staying-motivated
4. ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/motivation/
5. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
6. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/positive-self-talk/
7. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-confident/
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201311/the-importance-allowing-yourself-relax
9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/boost-your-motivation-in-6-ways#how-to-boost-motivation
10. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/gratitude-practice.html
11. ↑ https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/sma16-4958.pdf
12. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/stop-overthinking/
13. ↑ https://www.northshore.org/healthy-you/how-to-start-a-new-routine-and-stick-to-it/

How to Come Up with Good Conversation Topics

Even if you're good with people, there are likely times when you're stuck for something more to say and start wondering what topic to bring up next. To come up with good conversation topics, you should prepare a mental list of ideas beforehand so that you can seamlessly pull up one idea and continue on with your chat. Form conversation around the other person, tailoring the topic based on how well you know them, and give the other person equal opportunity to steer the conversation in other directions.

Steps

Great Conversation Starters

1. Ask the other person questions about themselves.^[1] The biggest secret to being a good conversationalist is simply allowing other people to talk about themselves. ^[2] Why? It's a subject they are familiar with and that they probably feel comfortable discussing. To start, try these tactics:
   
   • Ask for their opinion. You could tie it to what's currently happening in the room, current events, or whatever else you may want to discuss.
   • Delve into "life story" topics. Ask where your conversation partner is from, how they grew up, and so on.
2. Have a few different starters for people you know to different degrees. The kinds of questions you will ask someone depend on how well, or whether, you know them. Here are some openers for two other types of people you'll converse with:
   
   • People you know well: ask them how they are, whether anything interesting has happened this past week, how their project or study is coming along, how their children are and whether they've seen any good TV shows or movies lately.
   • People you know but haven't seen for a while: ask them what has happened in their life since you last saw them, find out if they're still working in the same job and living in the same area, ask about their children and whether they've had more (if relevant); perhaps ask if they've seen a mutual friend lately.
3. Remember what to avoid. You know the old rule: never talk about religion, politics, money, relationships, family problems, health problems, or sex with people you don't know incredibly well.^[3] The risk of saying something offensive is too high, so just stay clear; these are often emotional charged issues as well^[4].
   
4. Discuss interests and hobbies. People are complex, with different interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Discussing your interests and hobbies with other people, and inquiring about theirs is a great way to start and continue a conversation. This is because it is a way to engage in conversation without discussing things such as religion, politics, money, relationships, family problems, health problems, or sex. These topics could make the person you are talking to uncomfortable and may leave them with a bad first impression with you as these are sensitive and controversial topics. Questions you could ask include:
   
   • Do you play or follow any sports?
   • Do you like to hang out online?
   • What do you like to read?
   • What do you do in your spare time?
   • What kind of music do you like?
   • What kinds of movies do you like to watch?
   • What are your favorite TV shows?
   • What's your favorite board game or card game?
   • Do you like animals? What's your favorite animal?
5. Bring up family. Your safest bet here is siblings and general background information (such as where they grew up). Be sure to respond enthusiastically to encourage them to share more information.^[5] Parents can be a touchy subject for people who had troubled upbringings, have estranged parents or whose parents have recently passed away. The topic of children can be uncomfortable for couples who are having fertility issues or disagreements about whether to have children, or for a person who wants to have kids but hasn't found the right person or situation. Some questions you might ask include:
   
   • Do you have any siblings?
   • How many?
   • What are their names?
   • How old are they?
   • What do your siblings do? (Modify the question based on how old they are. Do they go to school/college or have a job?)
   • Do you look alike?
   • Do you all have similar personalities?
   • Where did you grow up?
   • (If they have no siblings) What was it like being an only child?
6. Ask about past travel adventures. Ask your conversation partner where he's been. Even if they have never left their hometown, they will likely be happy to talk about where they would want to go. Specifically, you could ask:
   
   • If you had a chance to move to any other country, which one would it be and why?
   • Of all the cities in the world you've visited, which one was your favorite?
   • Where did you go on your last vacation? How did you like it?
   • What was the best/worst vacation or trip you've ever been on?
7. Inquire about food and drink. Food is a little better to talk about because there's always the chance of bumping into someone who has had issues with alcohol abuse or doesn't drink. Be careful that the conversation doesn't stray into someone going on about their diet or how they're trying to lose weight. That can take the conversation in a negative direction. You might instead ask:
   
   • If you could only have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
   • Where do you like to go when you eat out?
   • Do you like to cook?
   • What's your favorite kind of candy?
   • What's the worst restaurant experience you've ever had?
8. Ask about work. This one can be a little tricky because the conversation could end up sounding like a job interview. Still, if you can handle it carefully and keep it short and sweet, it can lead to an interesting discussion. And don't forget that the person may be studying, retired or "between jobs". Here are some suggested starters:
   
   • What do you do for a living? Where do you work (or study)?
   • What was your first job ever?
   • Who was your favorite boss in the past?
   • When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
   • What do you like best about your job?
   • If money was no object, but you still had to work, what would be your dream job?
9. Find out why you are both in the same place.^[6] If you've never met them before, there are plenty of unknowns to explore just surrounding why you're both at the same event. Ask such questions as:
   
   • So, how do you know the host?
   • How did you get involved in this event? (Or, when relevant) In fundraising? In triathlons?
   • How do you find the time to be involved in events like this?
10. Offer a genuine compliment. Try to make it a compliment that involves something they did rather than something they are. This will allow you to carry the conversation forward by asking them about that skill. If you tell your conversation partner that they have beautiful eyes, they will thank you and the conversation will likely end there. Be sure to remain enthusiastic when you give a compliment so that you come across as sincere. Here are some good lines to use:
    
    • I loved your piano performance. How long have you been playing for?
    • You seemed really confident during your speech. How did you learn to put together such great presentations?
    • Your run was absolutely amazing. How often do you train each week?

Extending the Conversation

1. Keep it light. You can't expect miracles to take place in the initial interactions with someone. All you can hope for is an initial rapport to be created. Your best chance at this is to stick to topics that are interesting and entertaining to talk about; it can help to interject some light humor into the conversation as well. ^[7]
   
   • Avoid talking about problems in your life or other negative situations. If you've experienced people's eyes glazing over when such topics are raised, it's simply because few people expect to have to deal with heavy situations or problems in a casual, conversational context.
   • Most people are looking for polite, interesting, and lighthearted topics to discuss and a negative insertion can really put a blight on the moment, bringing to a halt any further conversation.
2. Allow for silence. Silence doesn't have to be awkward — it allows you to gather an opinion on the other person or to think up conversation topics they would enjoy. It gives both of you a breather and a moment of refined pause. ^[8]
   
   • Silence can become awkward, however, if you get nervous or try to cover up the silence because you're worried about it.
3. Share common interests. If you find that you both like running, for example, spend more time talking about this shared interest. However, do be aware that you will eventually have to move on from the topic at a certain point. A 45-minute conversation about running would be awkward for most people. ^[9]
   
   • Discuss others who share your interest and their achievements. For example, you might both know the marathon winner from last season and one of you might be able to expand on what this person has been up to since winning.
   • Talk about new gear, new equipment, new insights, new tactics, etc. to do with your shared interest.
   • Suggest new things that you could both try in your shared interest, perhaps even making a date to catch up and try something new together.

Taking the Conversation to the Next Level

1. Spark a new direction with hypotheticals. This may feel foreign at first, but give it a go and see just how the conversation opens up dramatically. Here are some thought-provoking questions to inspire more conversation:
   
   • Given all you have accomplished so far, what do you think has been the most important to you/beneficial to your community?
   • If you could be rich, famous, or influential, which would you choose and why?
   • Is this the best time of your life?
   • If you could only own 10 things, what would they be?
   • If you had to choose only five foods and two drinks for the rest of your life, what would they be?
   • Do you believe people make happiness or stumble across it?
   • What would you do if you could wear an invisibility cloak?
   • Do you believe in free will?
   • What sort of animal do you think you would be if someone could change you into one?
   • Who is your favorite superhero and why?
   • Which five people out of all history would you choose to invite to an intimate dinner party at your house?
   • If you won a few million in the lottery tomorrow, how would you spend it?
   • If you could be famous for a week, what would you be known for? (Or which celebrity would you choose to be?)
   • Do you still believe in Santa?
   • Could you live without the internet?
   • What's your dream vacation?
2. Keep a note of what gets good responses in your conversations. Return to these "winning" conversation tactics time and time again as long as they continue to work for you.
   
   • Equally, remember the topics that seem to make people feel uncomfortable or bored and avoid these in the future.
3. Read up on current events.^[10] Dig around into what's going on in the world and try asking your conversation partner their thoughts about the latest big incident in the news (remember though, in most cases it is best to avoid politics).^[11]
   
   • Keep in mind funny new stories that could get you a laugh as well as remind your conversation partner of funny news stories they have read recently.
4. Practice conciseness. Coming up with good conversation topics is part of what makes for good conversation, but how you convey the topics of conversation that you do come up with matters also.^[12] Be sure to get to the point of the topic without meandering about aimlessly.
   
   • Try to not digress into tangents as you are bringing up a conversation topic or you risk losing your conversation partner's attention!

Conversation Help

Sample Topics to Keep a Conversation Going

Sample Topics to Keep a Conversation Going

Sample Conversation Topics to Avoid

Sample Conversation Topics to Avoid

Video

Tips

• Don't just mindlessly work through the list of questions mentioned above. It will make the other person feel interrogated.
• Listening closely to others' answers to your questions might open up other related conversation topics.
• Don't start the conversation by talking badly about another person.
• Avoid one word answers (such as "Yes," "No," and "Fine") as much as possible, as they lead the conversation nowhere.
• Think before you speak. You cannot take back things that you have said to people. Also, people remember the conversations that you have had with them, so don't act unfriendly unless you want them to remember you that way.
• If you are meeting someone new, remember the person's name! It sounds so easy, but it is very easy to forget. Try saying their name in your mind quickly five times in a row right when they introduces themselves.
• Read up on current events. Read the paper and browse social bookmarking sites for interesting stories of the day.
• If it's your first time talking to the person, try to tie the topic to something related to the situation at hand, rather than just jumping into a random topic.
• A good way to keep the conversation moving forward while staying balanced is to take it in turns to ask questions. It doesn't need to be like a quiz or a competition to see who can ask the best questions, but it's a gentle way of maintaining a good conversation without having one person dominate it.
• If you are in a group, make sure you make everyone feel included. If you start talking to only one person in a group and expect others to silently observe your conversation, the situation can get awkward for everyone.
• Listen carefully, and try to relate. After they have answered your question, relate your own experience to something they mentioned, or answer the question yourself, even if they didn't ask you.
• If it's your first time with the person, try to avoid sarcasm, though if they are the sarcastic type, you might want to tease them with your wit. Still, don't overdo it — no one likes too much sarcasm.
• Remember: smiling and making good contact will go a long way!^[13]

Related wikiHows

• Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About
• Have a Great Conversation
• Join a Conversation
• Have a Witty Conversation
• Carry on a Romantic Conversation
• Talk to Someone Who Doesn't Carry the Conversation

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161644_b01]. 17 November 2020.
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201107/10-tips-talk-about-anything-anyone
3. ↑ [v161644_b01]. 17 November 2020.
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/look-it-way/201001/topics-avoid
5. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/making-conversation-a-skill-not-an-art/
6. ↑ [v161644_b01]. 17 November 2020.
7. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/making-conversation-a-skill-not-an-art/
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/200912/the-effective-use-silence
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201507/how-good-are-you-at-the-art-of-conversation-a-quiz
10. ↑ [v161644_b01]. 17 November 2020.
11. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/making-conversation-a-skill-not-an-art/
12. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/making-conversation-a-skill-not-an-art/
13. ↑ [v161644_b01]. 17 November 2020.