How to Make a Menorah

It's easy to learn how to make the holder for the nine lights of Hanukkah — technically a chanukiah, but commonly called a menorah. The only kosher requirements for a menorah are that the eight main lights are in a straight line, and that you can easily tell the ninth helper light apart from the rest.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Simple Menorah Ideas

1. Know the basics. A menorah does not have to be ornate, or even in the traditional candelabra shape. You don't even need to glue the nine light holders into one object. All you need to know are these basic rules:^[1]
   
   • The eight main lights should be in a straight line, all at the same height or along a steady diagonal line.
   • The ninth helper light (shamash) should be easily identified. It's usually placed in the center or end of the row, but higher or lower than the rest. If it's the same height as the others, offset it so it's not in the same row.
   • Ideally, set up the menorah near a window so passersby can see it.
2. Fill small terracotta pots with sand. Nine small plant pots make a simple but beautiful display, even if you're craft-challenged. Make sure the pots are wide enough to catch any drips from the candles.
   
   • Bury small candle holders just underneath the sand for stability, so the openings are at the surface.
     
3. Use a line of bottles. Pick eight narrow-neck bottles of the same height, plus a ninth at a different height. Tear off the labels and wash off the label residue with soap and water.^[2] You can now fit candles into the necks, or fill the bottles partway with water, float olive oil on the top, and hang a cotton wick from the neck to the olive oil.
   
   • If you use candles, place a non-flammable plate underneath to catch the drips.
4. Add the lights. The light should last at least 30 minutes before it burns down. You'll need 44 lights to last the eight days of Hanukkah, but keep a few extra around just in case. The most common option is Hanukkah candles, which should last well over 30 minutes.
   
   • To represent the original miracle more closely, you may use glass cups of flammable oil instead, ideally olive oil. See the Tips section below for instructions on making your own wick.
   • On the last day, the candles are lit before sundown. Many people use larger candles to make sure they keep burning until the Shabbat.

[Edit]Kid's Menorah

1. Gather your supplies. Parents and synagogues often teach young kids to make their own menorah this way. All you need is nine or ten metal hex nuts, nine candles that fit inside the nuts, a long slab of wood, and strong glue. You can find all of these at a hardware store.^[3]
   
   • Pick up any decorations you'd like to use as well. See below for some suggestions.
   • If you can't find nuts that will hold up your candles, you can glue tea candles directly onto the wood instead.
2. Glue eight nuts onto the wood in one row. Place all eight nuts first to make sure they are evenly spaced, in a straight row, and that there's room left for the ninth nut. Glue each nut onto the wood and wait for it to dry.^[4]
   
   • Weighing down the nuts with heavy objects will help the glue bond.
3. Glue the nut for the helper candle. The ninth nut will hold the shamash, or helper candle. This candle is the one that will light all the rest, so it has to stand out from the rest. If you have ten nuts, you can stack two on top of each other so the shamash is higher. Otherwise, just glue the ninth nut anywhere that's not in the same line as the other eight.
   
4. Decorate. Make the menorah your own with mini decorative tiles, paint, glitter glue, or your favorite kind of decoration.
   

[Edit]Clay Menorah

1. Set up your workstation. Buy polymer clay such as Fimo or Premo at any craft store. Lay down a piece of wax paper on your work surface — you don't want raw clay touching surfaces you may later use for food.
   
   • Wear gloves. Some clay colors can slightly stain your hands. Alternatively, coat your hands lightly with hand cream to make cleaning up easier.
2. Cut a block of the clay into eight evenly sized cubes using a craft knife. A craft knife will make good straight, thin cuts for the cubes and is recommended over a regular knife. Make sure that all eight structures have a flat, stable base.
   
3. Make a taller ninth cube. Elongate another piece of clay into a rectangle that is slightly thinner and taller than the eight cubes. This will hold the shamash, or helper candle used to light the eight main lights.
   
4. Wrap foil around a candle. Wrap a small amount of aluminum foil around the base of a small, thin Hanukkah candle. This covering will prevent the candle from sticking to the clay as you make candle holes.^[5]
   
5. Form the holes for the candles. Push this wrapped candle into the top center of each of the nine clay cubes to create the hole to hold the candle. Make this hole of equal width, and deep enough to securely hold the candle.
   
   • Remove the candle but leave the foil intact, as you'll need it again later.
6. Press together four of the clay cubes. Line up four of the cubes in a row. Keep them flat on the work surface. Firmly press four of them together one by one to create a solid unit. You should now have one straight row of cubes of equal height, displaying four equally-spaced holes on top.
   
   • Smooth the edges, making sure that this structure is firmly stuck together.
   • Check that the bottom of the four-holed structure is still flat and stable.
7. Repeat with the other four cubes. You will now have two units of clay, each with four holes.
   
8. Make the Chanukiah menorah structure. Check that the base of each rectangle is flat and stable, then connect all nine:
   
   • Place one four-candle holder on the left side of the tall rectangle.
   • Place the other four-candle holder on the right of the tall rectangle.
   • Press the rectangle from both sides to join it to the other units. Press firmly to ensure joining and smooth the seams by rubbing the clay together with your fingers or a clay tool.
   • You should now have one long, solid unit of clay with nine holes in total: four holes of equal height situated on either side of the middle candle hole, which will sit slightly higher.
9. Make the structure stable by adding a base and support beams as you see fit. A wide base, tall pillar, and two supporting arms should be enough.
   
10. Check again that the unit is stable and that all bases are flat. If needed, flatten each cube and rectangle slightly to make it stable, being careful not to close the candle holes. Make sure that the unit holds together as one long piece.
    
11. Transfer the unit to a flat baking tray. Bake according to manufacturer's instructions, being careful to judge baking time by the thickness of the cubes. Cool according to manufacturer's instructions. Note: If you plan to decorate the menorah, please read the next step first prior to baking.
    
12. Decorate (optional). If you choose to decorate, read the manufacturer's instructions for any tips related to the specific clay you're using, such as sticking pieces together or using paints. This determines whether painting should be done before or after baking. There are lots of techniques for decorating clay prior to baking with common tools, such as toothpicks and toothbrushes to create textures. A six-pointed star made from 2 overlapping triangles is a traditional symbol used on menorahs.
    
    • See How to light a Chanukah Menorah for instructions on use.
    • Prior to lighting the candles, place a small amount of aluminum foil around the bottom of each candle, shaping it into a small cup so that drips from the candle will catch in the foil and not drip onto your creation.
13. Enjoy!
    

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• To make an easy wick and wick holder, unroll a ball of cotton. Pull off a strip about an inch long, then cut it in half width-wise. Roll it between your hands until it feels tight. Straighten a small paper clip and make one twist around the cotton to make your holder. Place it inside the cup of oil with the paper clip over the cup edges to keep the wick up.
• Use a baking tray reserved for crafts; do not use food implements for working the clay.
• The lights should burn down on their own. Tea lights and large candles can last for hours, so be prepared to keep an eye on them for a long time.

[Edit]Warnings

• Children should use the oven for baking clay under adult supervision only.
• Do not use clay on surfaces or objects used for food.
• Never use a microwave to bake clay.^[6]
• Be flame aware:
  • Candles should always be lit and remain burning under adult supervision.
  • Never let children play (including spinning a dreidel) on a surface with a lit menorah.
  • Never place the Chanukiah on a flammable surface or near curtains, paper, or anything that might ignite.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

[Edit]Simple Menorah

• 9 small terra cotta pots
• Sand
• Candles
• 9 empty bottles, 1 of a different height than the other 8

[Edit]Kid's Menorah

• 9-10 metal hex nuts
• Candles candles that fit inside the nuts
• A long slab of wood
• Strong glue

[Edit]Clay Menorah

• Modeling clay
• Clay tools
• Craft sheet or baking sheet for working on
• Non-stick surface such as parchment or wax paper, silicon sheet
• Craft knife
• Gloves and/or hand cream (olive oil will also keep your hands clay-free)
• Manufacturer's baking instructions
• Decorative elements (optional)
• Oven mitts for handling hot baking sheet

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Light a Chanukah Menorah

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.chabad.org/holidays/chanukah/article_cdo/aid/103868/jewish/How-to-Light-the-Menorah.htm
2. ↑ https://www.mnn.com/your-home/remodeling-design/blogs/a-stylish-make-your-own-menorah
3. ↑ https://www.party411.com/PlanYourParty/Holiday/Chanukah/MakeYourOwnMenorah.aspx
4. ↑ https://www.party411.com/PlanYourParty/Holiday/Chanukah/MakeYourOwnMenorah.aspx
5. ↑ https://www.shalomboston.com/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=8ZMTJKVa20Q%3D&tabid=93&mid=480&language=en-US
6. ↑ https://thebluebottletree.com/bake-polymer-clay-microwave/

How to Get to Sleep on Christmas Eve

Finding it hard to get to sleep on Christmas Eve? Well, you're not alone. It's a hard night to fall asleep, as excitement and eagerness accumulate. Santa is coming and you cannot stand how long it takes for the time to pass. Here are some suggestions that might help you to overcome excitement and get some much-needed sleep before the big day.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Distracting and Tiring Yourself on Christmas Eve Day

1. Wake up earlier than normal on Christmas Eve morning. Doing this will make you more tired when you want to go to bed later that day.
   
   • The night before Christmas Eve, stay awake as long as possible. Set your alarm for an early time like 6 am. When you wake up, you will be very tired and will want to go back to sleep, but resist the urge. When you have to go to sleep later that day, you will fall asleep easier because you are exhausted.
     • If you use your phone as an alarm, change it to a sound you hate so you want to get out of bed. Put your alarm across the room so you must get out of bed to turn it off. When you get out of bed, you will be "awake" for the day.
   • If you have a calendar in your bedroom, turn it back to a different month and pretend it's that month during the night. Make a playlist of songs you liked listening to at that time to capture the feeling even more.
2. Exercise regularly throughout the day. Do some jumping jacks, go for a walk, or do some cycling.^[1] If it's too snowy outside to exercise, play an exercising game, such as Wii Fit.
   
3. Make up a long song and try to memorize it. This will wear out your brain and make you tired.
   
4. Help your family, friends, and even neighbors to prepare for Christmas Day. Keeping busy and being helpful will take your mind off the excitement but will still help you to feel involved and happy.
   
5. Track Santa. Tracking Santa's progress around the world is always a great way to get you excited for Christmas on Christmas Eve! Use websites such as NORAD Tracks Santa or Google Santa Tracker.
   
   • Tracking Santa, in some cases, actually may do the opposite of what you want to happen. It may make you more excited so it's harder to sleep. The blue light from your electronic device may keep you awake as well.

[Edit]Preparing for Bedtime

1. Think of it as a normal night. Tell yourself that tonight is not Christmas Eve. Do the same things you always do in your bedtime routine: brush your teeth, read a book, chat with your friends, etc.
   
   • Say to yourself: "What am I gonna do tomorrow?" -- like it's any normal day: "Oh, hey, tomorrow maybe I will hang out with my 'bud', ______".
2. Play a game with someone. A technique that, strange as it sounds, works well is to play a quiet game you can play alone (or with another hyper and excited friend or sibling), such as Mad Libs, while in bed. This will help take away your energy and help you fall fast asleep.^[2] Santa came a lot quicker than you thought!
   
3. Exercise. Although this may seem counterintuitive, exercise can help to calm you down. A couple of hours before you go to bed.^[3], see how many push-ups, crunches, or jumping jacks you can do in your room. Exercise only for thirty minutes, though; you don't want to stay up too late. Exercising is a great way to help you feel physically tired so that your body will want to sleep. Better still, it will take your mind off Christmas for a little while.
   
4. Take a warm bath. Having a warm bath will relax your muscles and make it easier to fall asleep.^[4] Squirt bath toys at imaginary targets, submerge yourself in bubbles, and relax your muscles. Try scented bubbles and soap.
   
5. Don't peek at the Christmas tree. This might spoil any surprises and will keep you very excited and awake! Remember, Santa Claus knows when you are sleeping and when you are awake. He won't come if you are peeking.
   
6. Drink warm milk. In addition to providing you with nutrients like calcium, magnesium, and L-tryptophan, warm milk can be a soothing, comforting drink that lulls you to sleep. You can also try hot herbal tea; it is soothing to drink. Just make sure it doesn’t contain caffeine!
   
   • When you're setting up a cookie plate for Santa is a great time to have some warm milk.
   • Or, drink hot chocolate after you are in your pajamas. This will also help you to relax and stay warm! Don't drink coffee. The caffeine in it can keep you awake.
   • If warm milk disgusts you on its own, add some honey. It will make for a relaxing treat.
7. Relax.^[5] If you are just jumping up and down and feeling hyperactive, you need to calm down; you're only feeding a buildup of excitement that it'll be hard to come down from. Read a book. Listen to music. Whatever makes you calm down and relax.^[6][7]
   
   • Read a book.^[8] It can be about Christmas, although it doesn't really matter. Try reading a school textbook, a really boring one from your least favorite class. Read a boring book to induce sleepiness; read an exciting one to get lost in and to help take away the urgency of thinking about Christmas things. Some good non-Christmas books are Harry Potter, Twilight, School of Fear, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. They are fairly long and can keep you occupied for a while.
   • Burn a sweet-scented candle for a little while in a safe place in your room. The scent will help you to relax, particularly if you choose a scent like lavender or jasmine. Just make sure to extinguish it before you fall asleep!
   • Mind dump your thoughts. If your mind is racing with tomorrow’s exciting events, grab a notepad and write down everything you are excited about and get it out of your system. Dump it all out of your mind and into your notepad.^[9]
   • Repeat some relaxing mantras. Mantras have been classified as a form of meditation which involves continually repeating a specific word or phrase while passively tuning out any other type of internal or external distraction. The goal of using mantras is to repeat this word or phrase enough times to elicit a relaxation response.^[10]

[Edit]Going to Sleep on Christmas Eve

1. Remind yourself that the more you can relax and feel like falling asleep, the sooner it will be Christmas Day!
   
2. Get into a comfortable sleeping position while in bed. Scrunch up really tightly—as tightly as you can. Hold that position for 30 seconds, then relax again, trying to stay still. You will become tired. This is important anytime you try to get to sleep, but relax and close your eyes.
   
   • See some of the related wikiHow links in this article for more ideas on helping you to fall asleep, or visit the whole category on better sleeping.
   • Fluff your pillow. If you fluff your pillow, it will give you something more comfortable for your head to rest on and make it easier to fall asleep.
3. Snuggle up with pets. If the pet is small enough to fit in your bed (or wherever you are sleeping), try to fall asleep with it. It helps you to sleep when you have someone else in the room with you. It will make you fall asleep a bit faster, although if it is a hamster or something of that size you may squish it.
   
4. Make sure you're warm or cool enough, depending on where you live. If it’s cold, turn a heater on, put on some warm and comfortable clothes, or put some extra blankets on your bed. Just make sure you don't take yourself too hot, or it will be just as hard to fall asleep as it is when you're cold. If it’s too hot, turn on the air conditioning, or open a window and sleep with just a sheet on you.
   
5. Count sheep or even reindeer. Any of these methodical, centering and calming methods will help to move you out of being too excited into a calmer state, which may help you to feel sleepy. Try focusing on each of the sheep as they jump over the fence (or any other high platform). What do they look like? What type of fence are they jumping over? How high are they jumping? Focusing on these details will let your mind trail away from the idea of Christmas and will help you fall asleep.
   
6. Lie in bed and say this in your head: "Relax my toes." (Wiggle them for a moment.) "Relax my arch. Relax my ankle. (Flex your ankle.)" It might sound corny but it really does work through the power of suggestion.^[11] Continue, working all the way up to your head. Even keeping up the effort of concentration on doing this is a great distraction from the night's excitement. You may not even get up to your head before you're snoozing away!
   
7. Listen to slow Christmas music and think about the real reason why you celebrate Christmas.
   
   • Make a playlist on your iPod "sleep songs." Soothing music will definitely help take your mind off Santa, and lull you to sleep.
8. Don't sit at the computer, laptop, or iPad late at night if you can't sleep; this will only keep you awake. The light actually fools your body into thinking it's not bedtime.
   
   • If you watch TV before bed, try to turn off or down all the other lights, so the room is darkened. That will get your body ready to sleep.
9. Watch a movie. If you still have trouble going to sleep, watch a movie. Some good Christmas movies that play a lot during Christmas Time include: A Christmas Story, The Polar Express, Elf, Home Alone 1, 2, 3, and 4, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Carol, It's A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Santa Clause: 1, 2 and 3, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
   

[Edit]Waking Up on Christmas Morning

1. Set a time to wake up. Make sure that the whole family agrees with it. That way, when it turns (for example 7:00) everyone is prepared to get up. If you get up earlier than this, have some breakfast, go to the washroom, get ready so that you actually look OK on video.
   
   • If you know you are going to be videotaped in the morning, prepare your best set of PJ's. You don't want everybody to remember you wearing that raggedy old t-shirt and a pair of shorts on Christmas morning, do you? Don't forget to brush your hair in the morning before galloping downstairs!
2. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
   

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Reader Videos

[Edit]Tips

• The sooner you fall asleep the sooner it will be Christmas, so make sure you fall asleep otherwise it will feel like forever before Christmas comes.
• Stay up late the night before Christmas Eve. It will make you tired on Christmas Eve if you stay up for the whole day.
• Think about how great the day ahead will be and this will make you drift off dreaming.
• If you keep your stocking on your bed or anywhere you can see it then, put it under the bed; If this isn't possible you could always find a big cushion and stuff it at the foot of your bed with the stocking behind it. Or, place it somewhere outside your room where, from your bed, you can't see it but whoever walks by it can put a gift or treat! That way, you won't be panicking that Santa won't be able to find the stocking!
• You might flex your toes, fingers, and shrug your shoulders. Then after a few seconds, stop, and your body will feel relieved and you can relax and go to sleep!
• If you’re worried about not getting to sleep, stop looking at the clock, take deep breaths, and remember, it’s very hard for the human body to stay awake for more than 18 hours at a time, so you’ll probably fall asleep eventually whether you want to or not. Not to mention, on Christmas Day, when all the excitement is over, you’ll catch up on any sleep you missed by going to bed early for a few nights.
• Try not to drink too much liquid an hour or two before bed. Just take a sip of water and empty your bladder before you go to bed. This will decrease your need to get up during the night.
• Don't think about Santa Claus, that will make you feel excited and will take twice as long to fall asleep.
• Make sure your door is closed. It helps you feel more relaxed and you fall asleep. And it makes less light shine in your bedroom.
• Stop exercising around 2 hours before you go to sleep.
• If you really want to, leave your room about half an hour before everyone else wakes up and look at the presents and the tree. It may not sound like it, but it actually might calm you down a little bit. Be sure not to peek at the presents though! This will just ruin Christmas for you.
• If you must, ask your parents if you can open one present on Christmas Eve. The satisfaction will calm you down for a while.
• If you're feeling restless and want to open the gifts ASAP, say this to yourself: "No one is going to take the gifts from me at any time. They will be there whether I open them at 4 a.m. or 9 a.m."
• Slowly change your bedsheets and put on your pajamas in slow motion, after your nice hot bath; this can make you feel bored and relaxed; so you can sleep.
• Clean your room before you go to bed. It will be easier to sleep because you don't have to worry about a cluttered room.
• Keep your stockings downstairs and lock the door so that you won't be tempted to peek in your stocking.
• Turn all of your lights off so it will be easier for you to get to sleep.
• If you like to keep a lamp on in your room while you sleep, keep it on low so it's easier to fall asleep.

[Edit]Warnings

• Be sure to empty your bladder before you go to sleep. It's harder to fall asleep with a full bladder, and if you do manage to fall asleep, you don't want to wake up in the middle of the night having to go to the bathroom.
• Once officially in bed, only get up for bathroom breaks, and if you do, try to get back into bed in the same comfy position you were in before.
• Don't unwrap any presents. Save the excitement so you can share it with everyone else.
• Don't keep looking at the clock, as this will make it seem that Christmas Eve will never end.
• As much as you may want to, peeking at gifts will ruin your Christmas. Sure, instant gratification is nice, but in the long run, it really isn't a good idea.
• Don't leave your room; it will only make you more curious.
• Don't drink any caffeine at least six hours before going to bed. If you go to bed at 10 p.m., don't drink any caffeine after 4 p.m.
• Go to bed at the same time you do on a normal night. If you go normally go to bed at 10 p.m. and go to bed at 11 p.m. on Christmas Eve, it will not feel like a normal night.
• If you do exercise, don't exceed 30 minutes and make sure that it is at least one hour before you want to sleep. The endorphins you get from exercise can keep you buzzed and therefore awake, so leave some time to chill out. Leaving some time before bed gives you time to relax and maybe even try some other techniques!
• When reading your book, keep an eye on the time. You want to be asleep by midnight, so try putting your book down and closing your eyes around 10 or 11 p.m.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Count Sheep
• Fall Asleep
• Sleep Better
• Sleep When You Are Excited
• Make Christmas Eve As Special As Christmas

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.sleep.org/articles/exercise-affects-sleep/
2. ↑ https://modernparentsmessykids.com/quiet-time-activities-perfect-getting-kids-settle-bed/
3. ↑ [v162268_b01]. 8 December 2022
4. ↑ https://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20462696,00.html?slide=64602#64602
5. ↑ [v161962_b01]. 6 October 2021.
6. ↑ [v162268_b01]. 8 December 2022.
7. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/relaxation-exercises-falling-asleep-0
8. ↑ [v162268_b01]. 8 December 2022.
9. ↑ [v161962_b01]. 6 October 2021.
10. ↑ [v161962_b01]. 6 October 2021.
11. ↑ https://www.nosleeplessnights.com/sleep-hygiene/relaxation-techniques/

How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Learn how to love and accept yourself as you are

If you find yourself feeling insecure in some situations, you're not alone. Everyone has times when they don't feel comfortable in their own skin. We're here to help you minimize that feeling so you can be more comfortable and confident. Learning to love yourself for who you are and appreciating all the wonderful qualities that make you, you is a great start. Keep reading for expert-backed advice.

This article is based on an interview with our executive life coach, Guy Reichard, founder of HeartRich Coaching & Trainin.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Embrace the qualities that make you stand out from everyone else and know that those are the things that make you unique and wonderful.
• Define yourself rather than letting others define you. Avoid comparing yourself to other people—focus on your own personal growth instead.
• Accept yourself as you are right now as someone who is worthy of love. Take little breaks to reconnect with yourself through movement, creativity, and laughter.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Embrace your unique qualities.

1. Identify the qualities that make you stand out from others. It's totally normal to feel like you're different from other people. But just remember—life would be incredibly boring if everyone was exactly the same! Celebrate the things about you that make you who you are.^[1]
   
   • For example, maybe you've always had a loud voice. It's part of who you are and what makes you special. Write down five things that are good about having a loud voice.
   • Don't worry if other people don't always accept or understand these parts of you. That's okay! They just might not be the right people for you to have around.
   • If you're having trouble identifying the qualities that make you unique, ask close friends or family members. They'll tell you the things that stand out to them.

[Edit]Seek validation within yourself.

1. Think of yourself as an incredible and beautiful person. Don't wait for other people to compliment you—compliment yourself! Recognize that your self-worth doesn't depend on what other people say about you, good or bad. Getting a positive comment from someone else certainly feels good, but true happiness and comfort come from within.^[2]
   
   • If you make it a habit to regularly compliment yourself, you're likely to start feeling more comfortable in your own skin. For example, you might say to yourself, "Wow, my hair looks great today!" Or, you might say, "I can see kindness in my smile and joy in my eyes."
   • This is a gradual process and it can take a while for you to really notice the effects, so don't give up! A little every day is all it takes to start moving in the right direction.

[Edit]Define yourself rather than letting others define you.

1. Don't let other people make you feel bad about yourself. When you put too much stock into what others think about you, it can distort your thinking. This can cause you to feel uncomfortable in your own skin because you feel like you're not living up to what others expect from you. Instead, decide who you are and express that openly. Don't compare yourself to anyone else or think you have to live up to anyone else's expectations.^[3]
   
   • For example, your family might think that you're not a success until you're married and have children. But if you don't want to have children, you don't have to! You can be successful and live a full and complete life without having children.
   • Remember: only you truly know what your fullest potential could be. No one else can map that out for you.^[4]
   • When you have negative thoughts about yourself, try asking yourself, "Would I talk to my best friend this way?"^[5]

[Edit]Think positively.

1. Start thinking about the best thing that could happen. If you get caught up in negative thoughts and always expect the worst, it can destroy your self-confidence. Instead, focus on the positive and start expecting good things to happen. It can result in you feeling happier and less stressed.^[6]
   
   • For example, if you're going to a party where you won't know a lot of people, you might think, "This gives me the opportunity to make new friends and step outside my comfort zone."

[Edit]Accept yourself as you are right now.

1. Embrace the idea that you're better off being who you really are. If you're not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you're likely holding on to beliefs about yourself that aren't true and aren't serving you. Recognize that you're safe and free to be yourself, and that you're a being who is worthy of love and acceptance just as you are.^[7]
   
   • Even if there are things about you that you want to change, that doesn't mean you can't accept yourself for who you are right now.
   • For example, if you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, you might say, "I am not always comfortable talking to new people and that's okay!" Then, set a goal to talk to at least one new person every day.
   • If you're struggling with weight loss, accepting and loving your body as it is can actually help you lose weight more quickly and easily than if you criticize and hate your body.^[8]

[Edit]Show yourself love.

1. Treat yourself the way you'd treat your best friend. Practice self-love by maintaining your boundaries and taking action where necessary to make sure your needs are met. If you sacrifice your own needs for someone else's, you might feel as though you don't deserve to have your needs met—and nothing could be further from the truth! Figure out what you need to do to feel good, then do more of those things.^[9]
   
   • For example, you might find that you need some "me time" to recharge after a big event or a party, so you decide you're only going to go out one night a week instead of two.
   • You might also join a club devoted to one of your interests so you can meet and interact with like-minded people who inspire you and make you feel like you belong.

[Edit]Move your body in fun, free ways.

1. Play some music and just dance. Dance movement can improve your body image and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin because you're focused on the way your body works and moves, not how it looks. As you dance, find joy in the way your body is moving and how it feels.^[10]
   
   • You can do this whenever you're feeling a little down—just a few minutes and a song or two is all it takes to help you feel a little more comfortable.
   • Dancing also helps you reconnect to your emotions and feel more comfortable with them.

[Edit]Express yourself creatively.

1. Try writing, painting, or making music. Keep an open mind about new experiences and avoid being judgmental about the process or what comes out of it. If you shut yourself down by telling yourself that you're just not a creative person, you can get stuck in a rut and lose out on some interesting and fun experiences.^[11]
   
   • For example, you might say that you don't want to take an art class because you've never been an artsy person. But if you try, you might find that you enjoy doing it, even if you're not necessarily the next Picasso.
   • Remember that you don't have to be great at something to enjoy doing it! For example, improv classes can be fun and enjoyable and help you keep an open mind, even if you've never considered yourself an actor.
   • Set aside a little time each day for play and creativity. It will help keep your mind fresh and make you feel happier overall, which will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

[Edit]Laugh at something funny.

1. Let go of tension by laughing at a video or movie. Have you ever heard that laughter is the best medicine? In a lot of ways that's true! Laughing triggers so many positive physical and mental changes and can truly make you feel better. When you laugh, you feel lighter, more focused, and more alert. If you laugh often, you'll reconnect with yourself and start to feel more comfortable in your own skin.^[12]
   
   • If you enjoy meditating, you might try laughing meditation to help ease your stress and reconnect with yourself in the moment.
   • Laughter also helps you shift your perspective and think more positively, which is important if you're trying to improve your self-image and feel more comfortable in your own skin.
   • When you're truly laughing, it won't be so easy to stop and doubt yourself. It will help you embrace the moment and feel happier being yourself.

[Edit]Practice gratitude.

1. Use a gratitude journal to list the things you're thankful for. Each day, write down at least one thing that you're feeling grateful for. Get creative with it! You could use different colored pens or draw pictures in the margins. When you're feeling down, take it out and read through the things you've written to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.^[13]
   
   • A gratitude journal helps you develop a more positive perspective because it forces you to focus on the good things in your life.^[14]

[Edit]Live in the moment.

1. Try to be fully engaged and present in each moment. Reflect on the things that bring you joy and make an effort to incorporate more of those things into your everyday life. Over time, you'll start to feel happier throughout the day and have a more positive mindset.^[15]
   
   • For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, you might make an effort to speak to them every day or even ask if they'd like to go out with you sometime after work or on the weekend.
   • Meditating can help you become more attuned to yourself and keep you more grounded in the present moment.
   • If meditation does good things for you, you might try yoga as well. Adding movement helps you get even more in tune with your body to feel more comfortable in your skin.

[Edit]Dress up for a night out.

1. Wear clothes that represent who you are as a person. When you wear clothes that are stylish and fit you well, you'll automatically feel a little bit better about yourself. If you look as though you fit in wherever you are, you'll also probably feel a lot more confident and like you belong. This can definitely help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.^[16]
   
   • Even if you're not necessarily dressing up, keep your clothes neat and clean and you'll automatically feel just a little more polished and put-together.
   • Walk and stand with confidence—even if you don't completely feel it. This is what people mean when they say, "Fake it until you make it." If you project confidence, you'll start to feel more confident.

[Edit]Set concrete goals for self-improvement.

1. Create goals and commitments that are aligned with your values. Think about what you value most in life and set goals to live up to and honor those core values. Don't worry if your values aren't the same as those of other people around you—focus solely on yourself and how you can be happier with yourself as a person.^[17]
   
   • For example, you might decide that health is one of your core values, so you can set goals to improve your health by eating more healthy foods and exercising more consistently.

[Edit]Start exercising regularly.

1. Commit to being more active to improve your mood and confidence. Find an activity that you enjoy doing and you won't feel like exercise is a chore that you have to force yourself to do. Exercising with a friend is a great way to keep yourself accountable and have fun at the same time.^[18]
   
   • Exercise doesn't have to be intense or strenuous. Even a brisk walk in the morning or in the evening after dinner can be good for your body and soul and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
   • Choose activity over inactivity whenever you can. For example, you might take the stairs instead of the elevator, or park further away and walk to your destination.

[Edit]Spend time on your passions.

1. Explore things you're passionate about to bring joy to your life. When you're doing something that brings you joy and happiness, you'll feel a lot more comfortable in your own skin. Your focus will be on the thing that you love and you likely won't feel nearly as self-conscious.^[19]
   
   • If you're not sure what you're passionate about, talk to others about things they enjoy doing—you might find your passion. Plus, listening to others speak about something with excitement can stoke your passion too.
   • Another way to find your passion is to write down everything that makes you feel lit up or energized. Do this for a week, then go back and look at your list and see what you've come up with.^[20]
   • Try something new every day, even if it's as simple as taking a different route home from work. It can be surprising how such a small change can shift your perspective and help you feel more comfortable with yourself.

[Edit]Surround yourself with positive people.

1. Build a support network of people who will lift you up. Sometimes it's hard to control the people that you have around you—at work or at school, you might not really have a choice. But as much as possible, keep people close to you who help you feel good about yourself and don't insult you, criticize you, or bring you down.^[21]
   
   • Try to develop closer relationships with the people you know who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.
   • If you are in a situation where you have to be around someone who's negative, try to limit your interactions with them. Be polite, but don't seek them out or spend a lot of time with them when you don't have to.

[Edit]Take care of your body.

1. Think of all the wonderful things your body has done for you. It can be easy to stand in front of the mirror and nitpick all of your flaws. Instead of focusing on your flaws, shift your perspective to gratitude for all the amazing things your body has done and continues to do for you—not how it looks.^[22]
   
   • For example, if you're an athlete, your body has sustained you in competition and healed from injuries. If you've given birth, your amazing body has created and nurtured new life.
   • You might feel uncomfortable in your own skin because you're always feeling tired or unhappy. Get plenty of sleep and pay attention to your hygiene and you could start to feel better.

[Edit]Deal with personal issues that trouble you.

1. Heal what needs to be healed with care and compassion. If you have past trauma or other issues that you feel are holding you back, do what you can to heal from those. That might mean going to therapy, making lifestyle changes, or getting rid of toxic people in your life.^[23]
   
   • When you look at any issues you have, think of what you would tell a close friend to do if they had the same problems. Then, do that for yourself.
   • Sometimes this takes hard work—especially if it involves cutting off a toxic person who you consider to be a close friend. Just remind yourself that you'll ultimately be better off.

[Edit]Find a job that you love.

1. Try internships in different industries until something clicks. If you're not happy doing what you're doing right now, explore different career options. You likely have transferable skills that would be beneficial in a number of different fields. Don't be afraid to shift gears and move onto something else until you find something that you love.^[24]
   
   • If you're interested in transitioning to a different field, contact someone with experience in that field and ask for an informational interview so you can pick their brain about their work.
   • If you don't feel aligned with your work, you'll have a hard time being happy and feeling comfortable in your own skin. This is especially true if you dread work or feel like you're trapped in your job.
   • Don't worry about what other people might think about what you want to do. For example, maybe you're working as an accountant but the only job you ever really enjoyed was when you were a barista. Going back to being a barista doesn't mean you're a failed accountant—it means you're a happy and fulfilled person.

[Edit]Work on your self-confidence.

1. Practice projecting confidence to become more sure of yourself. If you're not feeling comfortable in your own skin, it's likely that you could use a confidence boost. When you're feeling uncomfortable, it can be natural to focus on your insecurities. But when you've done the work of embracing your unique qualities and accepting yourself for who you are, it becomes a little easier to approach others with confidence.^[25]
   
   • No matter where you are or what's going on, tell yourself that you belong there and that you're just as important as anyone else. Confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you bring to the table.
   • Advocate for yourself assertively and don't be afraid to say "no" if someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do.

[Edit]Join a support group.

1. Talk to people who share your struggles to feel better. If, despite your best efforts, you still just don't feel comfortable in your own skin, a support group can help. Making connections with other people who have similar experiences will help you feel less alone and more comfortable in your own skin.^[26]
   
   • Look for groups online or through social media if you're not ready to talk to people in person.
   • When you recognize that you're not the only person who thinks and feels the way you do, it helps you feel more at ease and can make it easier for you to accept yourself.

[Edit]Video

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• Be Confident

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[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image
2. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
3. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
4. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
5. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
6. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
7. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
8. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8708647/
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201401/3-ways-learn-love-yourself
10. ↑ https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/blog/getting-comfortable-own-skin-dance-movement-therapy
11. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
12. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
13. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
14. ↑ [v161429_b01]. 13 May 2020.
15. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
16. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/fashion-psychology/
17. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
18. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
19. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
20. ↑ [v161429_b01]. 13 May 2020.
21. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
22. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
23. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
24. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
25. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image
26. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/