How to Tinder Rizz

Witty and cheesy lines to get your next Tinder match's attention

There’s a new phrase taking over the dating world: rizz. Short for charisma, rizz is a slang term that defines your ability to attract a romantic partner. Tinder rizz typically refers to having a great opening line that ensures your match will respond on the dating app. If you want to know how to have the best Tinder rizz, we’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ve gathered 100+ of the best pick-up lines, plus tips on how to have a successful profile and experience on Tinder.

Steps

Funny Pick-Up Lines

1. One of the best ways to have rizz on Tinder is to show off your humor. Everyone loves being with someone who can make them laugh, so make sure your match vibes with your sense of humor.^[1] Here are some funny openers to inspire you:
   
   • Are you my laptop? Because you’re really hot and I’m concerned.
   • Could you get me a glass of water? Because I’m suddenly really thirsty.
   • I’ve been blinded by your beauty. My insurance company is going to need your name and number.
   • Your eyes are like Ikea. I’m totally lost in them.
   • Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars, and think about all the messed up things in the world? Like why is there a “d” in “fridge” but not in “refrigerator”?
   • I hope you know CPR because you’re taking my breath away.
   • I need a real estate agent. Do you know any? Because I’m trying to make a move here.
   • Hey, I’m writing an article on the finer things in life and wanted to know if I could interview you.
   • I heard you like bad girls/guys… Well, I’m bad at everything!
   • Are you a good cuddler? Because if so, I might let you join my gang.
   • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I delete this match and try again?
   • Will you be my Tinderella?
   • You’re so gorgeous I forgot my best pick-up line.
   • I’m not really this tall. I’m just sitting on my wallet.
   • I don’t normally chase people, but I’d put my Crocs in sports mode for you.
   • I should complain to Spotify for not making you this week’s hottest single.
   • 123456789. The only number I don’t see here is yours.
   • Are your shoe laces tied? I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
   • I’ve got all these forks and knives. All I need is a little spoon.
   • My mom told me not to talk to strangers online, but I’ll make an exception for you.
   • You’re garbage! I guess I’ll have to take you out.

Cheesy Pick-Up Lines

1. Show off your silly side with a cheesy opener. Sometimes cliche openers are cliche for a reason—they work! Use one ironically to show your sarcastic side, or use one unironically if you’re unashamedly cheesy. After all, you’ll probably want to attract someone with a similar personality.^[2] Here are some popular options:
   
   • Are you my untied shoelace? Because I’m falling for you.
   • I think I’ve seen you in a book somewhere. It was really fine print.
   • I’m researching important dates in history. Do you want to be mine?
   • Do you like bagels? Because you’re bae-goals.
   • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine apple.
   • What do you call a queue of people lifting mozzarella cheese? A cheesy pick-up line!
   • If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
   • Are you German? Because I’d like to be Ger-man.
   • How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!
   • I bet your birthday is October 10th because you’re a 10 out of 10.
   • Just wanted to let you know: you have some cute on your face.
   • Have you been speeding? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.
   • You wanna know what’s beautiful? Read the first word again.
   • Is there a rainbow outside? Because I think I just found gold.
   • You look so familiar! Did we have chemistry together?
   • Just call me Shrek because I’m head ogre heels for you.
   • Have you been to the doctor recently? I think you’re lacking some vitamin me.
   • I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
   • Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
   • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Nerdy Pick-Up Lines

1. Impress your match with a pun on their favorite topic. If your match mentions a specific interest like a movie, TV show, or video game, show them that you’re also a fan by sending them a cute pun! You can also do this if they mention their job, college degree, or interest like math or science. Here are some awesome nerdy pick-up lines:
   
   • Wow, you breathe oxygen, too? We already have so much in common.
   • Call me a proton because I’m positive you’re the one.
   • Are you an appendix? Because I think I should take you out.
   • If this goes well, you and Saturn will have something in common. You’ll both have giant rings!
   • Even if gravity didn’t exist, I’d still fall for you.
   • You’re sweeter than 3.14.
   • I hear you like numbers. Want to add yours to my phone?
   • Can you solve this equation: you + me + dinner Friday night = ?
   • Are you a computer keyboard? Because you’re just my type.
   • Are you hitting the F5 key right now? Because our conversation is refreshing.
   • You and Google have something in common: you have everything I’m searching for.
   • Is your phaser set to stunning?
   • So you’re a Stranger Things fan. Well, I have a feeling you’re about to turn my world upside down.
   • Want to be my player 2?
   • I’m just a Link looking for my Zelda.
   • Forget the Golden Snitch. You’re the best catch out there.
   • It looks like I’m down to one heart. Mind if I have yours?
   • Sorry, I thought you were Pikachu. You know, since you’re shockingly beautiful.
   • Is your nickname D20? Because you’ve been rolling through my mind all day.
   • You like comic books? I promise to keep our love in mint condition.
   • Are you a Star Wars fan? Because Yoda one for me.
   • Are you a D&D rogue? Because I’m pretty sure you just stole my heart.
   • Are you HTTP? Because without you I’m just ://
   • Wanna be Minecraft without the craft?
   • Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Smooth Pick-Up Lines

1. Catch their attention by being smooth and quick-witted. Yes, pick-up lines can be cheesy, but if you use the right one at the right time, they can also show that you’re quick on your feet.^[3] If you want to get your match’s phone number, try one of these lines:
   
   • Look, I won’t flirt with you. I’ll just be extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.
   • Do you have an Instagram account? Because my mother always told me to follow my dreams.
   • I would ask you to come to the movies with me but they have a rule against bringing your own snacks.
   • So, when our friends ask how we met, what are we going to tell them?
   • Do I know you? You look a lot like my next boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.
   • Let’s just set an anniversary date right now.
   • You’re pretty, and I’m cute. Together, we could be pretty cute!
   • I just became an organ donor so I could give you my heart.
   • All the good pick-up lines are taken, but you aren’t.
   • How can I plan our wedding without having your number?
   • What’s your favorite drink? I’m asking so I know what to buy you on our first date.
   • They say dating is a numbers game, so can I get yours?
   • When I text you good morning tomorrow, what number should I send it to?
   • They say nothing lasts forever. Want to be my nothing?
   • Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.
   • I have a phone number. You have a phone number. Think of the possibilities.
   • I bet my number sounds better than yours. Wanna hear it?
   • Aside from stealing hearts, what do you do?
   • Is your license suspended from driving all these guys/girls crazy?
   • It’s time to pay up because you’ve been living in my mind rent-free.
   • I usually go for 8s, but I guess I can settle for a 10.

Flirty Pick-Up Lines

1. Show your match you’re attracted to them by being flirty. There’s nothing wrong with showing someone you’re interested. It’s what you’re here for, after all! Don’t beat around the bush, and see if they flirt back. Just remember to keep it respectful!^[4] Here are some flirty pick-up line options:
   
   • I know your name is *their name* but what would you think about me calling you tonight?
   • When I send your pic to my group chat, which one would you like me to use?
   • I’d say bless you, but it looks like you already have been.
   • If you could be anywhere in the world, doing anything you wanted, where would we be?
   • Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
   • If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it right back.
   • If I told you that you have a great body, would you hold it against me?
   • You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
   • You know what you would look really good in? My arms.
   • I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it to see if it works?
   • Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
   • I thought this was Tinder, but it must be a museum because you’re a work of art.
   • What does it feel like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?
   • One night, I looked up at the stars and thought “Wow, how beautiful,” but now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.
   • If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have 5 cents.
   • I’m not religious, but when I saw you, I knew you were the answer to my prayers.
   • Do you have the time? I want to remember the exact minute I got a crush on you.
   • Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
   • I believe that honesty is the best policy, so if I’m being completely honest, you’re the sexiest person I’ve ever seen.
   • I’m going to have to ask you to leave Tinder. You make everyone else look bad.

How to Use Rizz on Tinder

1. Create an engaging profile. If you want to put your rizz to the test, make sure you get matches by completing your profile. Have a variety of photos (not just bathroom selfies!) that show your personality and hobbies, and make sure your bio genuinely reflects who you are and what you’re looking for.^[5]
   
   • If you don’t have many high-quality photos of yourself, ask a friend to take some the next time you’re at a fancy event like a wedding or when you’re out doing an activity you’re passionate about. You can also learn how to take flattering photos of yourself if no one is available.
   • Be direct about what you’re looking for. Whether it’s a long-term relationship or a hookup, let your potential matches know early on so you can both find someone who wants the same thing.
   • Use good grammar in your bio to show your matches you’re taking this seriously. Showing that you put time and effort into it is a green flag.
2. Use personalized openers. While pick-up lines are a great way of catching someone’s attention, try not to use the same one for every match. Pay attention to their profile and use an opener that you think matches their vibe and personality. You also don’t have to use a line to have Tinder rizz; try asking them about something on their profile.
   
3. Show genuine interest. Now that you’ve broken the ice, you have to be able to keep the conversation going. Take another look at their profile and see what they’re interested in. Then, ask them questions about it! This is a great way to show you’re interested and to keep the conversation from fizzling out before you get to know them.
   
4. Be confident, but not cocky. Confidence is one of the biggest factors we look for in a partner, so avoid making too many self-deprecating jokes. Remember, your match swiped right for a reason, so now’s the time to put your best foot forward and show them all your best qualities. Just don’t come across too braggy or act like you’re better than them.^[6]
   
   • To show your confidence, try messaging them first instead of waiting for them to start the conversation. Then, if they seem interested, don’t be afraid to ask for their phone number or set up a first date.
5. Be respectful and understanding. Not every match is going to be a success, and that’s okay. If someone doesn’t respond or the conversation fizzles out, let it go. Don’t call them names or complain about the situation. Instead, move on. If they’re not answering, it’s a good sign they’re not the one for you, anyway.
   

Tips

• Don’t get discouraged if your openers don’t seem to be working. Try mixing it up and seeing if another style works better.
• If you want to keep the conversation going but can’t think of what to say, just change the subject! Ask about one of their photos or an interest they mention in their bio.

References

1. ↑ https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a41055149/best-pickup-lines/
2. ↑ https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a41055149/best-pickup-lines/
3. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/pick-up-lines
4. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/pick-up-lines
5. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-make-a-successful-tinder-profile
6. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-make-a-successful-tinder-profile

How to Why Do My Dreams Feel So Real

Everything you need to know about intense, vivid dreams

Sometimes, you have a dream so emotionally intense and rich in detail that it feels as though it actually happened. But why? Read on to learn all you need to know about the possible causes of vivid dreams. And while vivid dreams aren't necessarily harmful in and of themselves, we'll also show you ways to prevent them if you're having dreams that scare you or make you uncomfortable.

Causes of Vivid Dreams

• Vivid dreams feel so emotionally intense and real because the same parts of your brain that process sensory information when you're awake are active.
• Vivid dreams have many causes, including stress or anxiety, hormonal shifts, sleep disorders, and various medications.
• If you find vivid dreams overwhelming, you can prevent them by practicing good sleep hygiene, using relaxation techniques, and avoiding alcohol or recreational drugs.

Steps

Possible Causes of Vivid Dreams

1. Stress and anxiety{endbold} If you're experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety in your waking life, that can have a profound impact on your sleep. In addition to leading to sleep disturbances, it can also cause you to have more vivid dreams.^[1]
   
   • Vivid dreams caused by stress and anxiety are more likely to be upsetting or frightening dreams.
2. Alcohol or drug use{endbold} Alcohol and recreational drugs can sometimes lead to vivid dreams, especially if you partake on a regular basis.^[2] On the other end of the spectrum, alcohol suppresses REM sleep, so if you used to drink frequently, abstaining from alcohol can actually lead to more vivid dreams.^[3]
   
3. Hormonal shifts{endbold} Changes in the hormones in your body, especially those associated with pregnancy, can lead to vivid dreams. In the later stages of pregnancy, you're also more likely to have upsetting or frightening dreams that are particularly vivid.^[4]
   
   • Other dramatic hormonal shifts, such as those associated with puberty, menopause, or hormone replacement therapy, can also cause vivid dreams.
4. Sleep deprivation{endbold} If you haven't had a good night's sleep in a while, such as if you suffer from insomnia, you might experience an REM rebound. The more REM sleep you have in a night, the more likely you are to also have vivid dreams—especially nightmares.^[5]
   
   • Fortunately, your nightmares and vivid dreams will typically stop on their own once you've had several nights of sufficient sleep.
5. Sleep disorders{endbold} Narcolepsy (a sleep disorder that causes excessive daytime sleepiness) in particular is associated with vivid dreams. People with narcolepsy frequently report experiencing vivid and bizarre dreams. Other sleep disorders, including sleep apnea and restless legs syndrome, can sometimes trigger vivid dreams.^[6]
   
   • If you're woken up in the middle of REM sleep, you're also more likely to remember your dreams more vividly than if you have the opportunity to progress through the sleep cycles before waking.
6. Medications{endbold} Stimulants, some prescription sleep aids, antidepressants, and blood pressure medications have all been linked with an increase in vivid dreams, and particularly nightmares, in some patients. These drugs might cause you to have more vivid dreams than you have in the past. They can also increase the vividness of the vivid dreams that you already have.^[7]
   
   • Some medications have actually been taken off the market because of this side effect, even though vivid dreams aren't harmful in and of themselves.^[8]
7. Physical or mental health conditions{endbold} Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and schizophrenia have been linked to vivid dreams, especially nightmares. Nightmares are also strongly connected to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).^[9]
   
   • Sleep disturbances, including vivid dreams, are also associated with age-related neurological conditions, such as Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease.^[10]

What are vivid dreams?

1. Dreams that feel emotionally intense and real are "vivid dreams." Dreams happen during the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep. When you dream, the parts of your brain that process sensory information are active, but the rational, reasoning parts of your brain aren't. That's why the weird parts of your dream only seem weird when you recall your dream after you wake up.
   
   • Vivid dreams are just like any other dream, except that they seem more real and you can recall more details from them.
   • You're most likely to remember a vivid dream if you're awoken in the middle of REM sleep, such as by an alarm clock.
   • International intuitive counselor and happiness coach Kari Samuels recommends that you "pay attention to your dreams because your dreams are always telling you something that your conscious mind doesn't want to pick up on."^[11]

Preventing Vivid Dreams

1. Practice good sleep hygiene. Good sleep hygiene includes going to bed at the same time every night and establishing relaxing routines before bed. When you practice good sleep hygiene, your mind and body are prepared for sleep so you can fall asleep more quickly and awake refreshed. You're also less likely to awake during the REM cycle, which is when vivid dreams occur. Other good sleep hygiene practices include:^[12]
   
   • Turn off all electronics at least an hour before bed.
   • Only use your bedroom for sleeping or sexual activity.
   • Keep your bedroom cool and completely dark at night.
   • Take a warm bath or shower 20-30 minutes before bed.
   • Avoid caffeine for at least 6 hours before you plan to go to bed.
2. Use relaxation techniques to manage stress and anxiety. Try deep-breathing exercises or practice yoga to help promote relaxation in your mind and body. These techniques, along with establishing a regular meditation practice, can help ease the negative effects of stress and anxiety.^[13]
   
   • Relaxation techniques are especially important if you've determined that daytime levels of stress and anxiety are potentially causing your vivid dreams.
3. Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs. Alcohol and recreational drugs mess with your sleep quality generally, but they can also cause you to have vivid dreams, especially ones that are upsetting. Even if you don't abstain entirely, cut off substance use at least a couple of hours before you go to bed to lower the risk of having vivid dreams.^[14]
   
   • Withdrawal from alcohol and recreational drugs has also been linked to nightmare disorder, which involves repeated vivid dreams that are scary.^[15]
4. Try taking a melatonin supplement. For people with some sleeping disorders, melatonin supplements can reduce vivid dreams. For everyone else, there's conflicting research on how melatonin affects dreams—but it probably won't hurt to try it and see if you notice any difference.^[16]
   
   • Talk to your doctor before you commit to melatonin supplements on a regular basis, especially if you've been prescribed other medications. There've been no studies on the long-term effects of melatonin supplements.
   • For some people, melatonin actually increases REM sleep, which can increase vivid dreams as well.
5. Do a sleep test if you think you have a sleep disorder. Start with your personal doctor and tell them that you think you might have a sleep disorder. They can refer you to the right specialists to conduct a sleep test and find out what treatments would work best for you.^[17]
#*A lot of the basic principles of good sleep hygiene can help with sleep disorders as well, so make sure you're already doing all of those things.
   
6. Consult your doctor about your medications. If you've been prescribed a medication that you think is causing vivid dreams that are disturbing you, ask your doctor about it. They might be able to prescribe you something else that will treat your condition without this side effect.^[18]
   
   • Be sure to tell your doctor about any other medications you're taking, as well as any steps you've taken to try to prevent vivid dreams on your own.
7. Talk to a therapist. If your vivid dreams are caused by stress, anxiety, or other mental health conditions, talk therapy might be helpful. A therapist can also help you make sense of your dreams and the thoughts in your waking mind so that these become less frightening or troublesome for you.^[19]
   
   • If you're experiencing nightmare disorder, there are specific forms of cognitive behavioral therapy that can help.^[20]

Tips

• Distinguish vivid dreams from lucid dreams. Lucid dreams occur when, while you're dreaming, you're aware that you're in a dream. Some lucid dreamers can even change what's happening in their dreams.^[21]

References

1. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/vivid-dreams-explained
2. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/vivid-dreams-explained
3. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
4. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
5. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/nightmares
6. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
7. ↑ https://sleepdoctor.com/dreams/vivid-dreams/
8. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
9. ↑ https://sleepdoctor.com/dreams/vivid-dreams/
10. ↑ https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/public-education/brain-basics/brain-basics-understanding-sleep
11. ↑ [v161936_b01]. 2 September 2021.
12. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/vivid-dreams-explained
13. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
14. ↑ https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/public-education/brain-basics/brain-basics-understanding-sleep
15. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24464-nightmare-disorder
16. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/vivid-dreams
17. ↑ https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep-disorder-treatments#
18. ↑ https://sleepdoctor.com/dreams/vivid-dreams/
19. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/vivid-dreams-explained
20. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24464-nightmare-disorder
21. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-lucid-dreaming-and-how-to-do-it

How to Be Determined

Learn to become a determined and motivated person

Determination is a skill that can be learned! Start by figuring out what you want. Then, create healthy habits that increase your chances of reaching your goals. Stick with your determination over the long run by using strategies to overcome obstacles and keep your motivation strong.

Quick Tips for Being Determined

Create specific, personal goals you want to achieve and set deadlines to meet them. Think positively and build your self-confidence. Play to your strengths and be willing to adapt your goals. Learn from obstacles and mistakes, and allow yourself to take breaks to stay motivated.

Steps

Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals

1. Complete the best possible future self exercise. It’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that.^[1]
   
   • Spend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future?
   • Try not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.
2. Create a few specific goals. Develop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals.^[2]
   
   • For instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii.
   • You might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal.
   • Focusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.
3. Break your goals down. After you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way.
   
   • For example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.
   • You might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first.
   • For example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.
4. Set challenging deadlines. Creating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal.^[3]
   
   • For instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months.
   • Your deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.
5. Prioritize your goals. If you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them.^[4]
   
   • Prioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, "I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning." You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.
6. Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment. Regularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting.
   
   • For example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.

Building Good Habits

1. Eliminate negative thinking. This is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.^[5]
   
   • Learn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up," change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, "I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them."
2. Play to your strengths. Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals.^[6]
   
   • Have friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths.
   • For example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).
3. Build your self-confidence. Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities.^[7]
   
   • To portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are.
   • To feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.
4. Practice flexibility. Flexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too.^[8]
   
   • One of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off.
   • Switching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.
5. Make healthy choices. It’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination.^[9]
   
   • Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.
   • Eat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.
   • Exercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.

Maintaining Your Determination

1. Learn from obstacles. People who use their determination do not use the term "failure." Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and "failures" are actually opportunities.^[10]
   
   • Re-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities.
   • Another method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed "failure." What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the "failure" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?
2. Find creative solutions. Thinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered.
   
   • Daydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time.
   • Ask yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?
3. Use visualization. Although it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards.^[11]
   
   • The more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them.
   • For instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing "congratulations" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.
4. Create a vision board. A vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward.^[12]
   
   • Look through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career.
   • After assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!
5. Reward yourself. Celebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals.^[13]
   
   • For example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant.
   • Rewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal).
   • Keep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.
6. Take breaks to re-energize. Sometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals.^[14]
   
   • A break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway.
   • For a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.

Related wikiHows

• Be Confident
• Feel Confident
• Be Strong Minded
• Be Brave
• Build Self Confidence

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/best_possible_self#data-tab-how
2. ↑ http://www.success.com/article/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals
3. ↑ http://www.success.com/article/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals
4. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/224675
5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking/
6. ↑ http://hbr.org/2005/01/how-to-play-to-your-strengths/
7. ↑ http://www.washington.edu/doit/Mentor/eca_characteristics.html
8. ↑ https://www.gaiam.com/blogs/discover/5-brain-exercises-to-foster-flexible-thinking
9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking/
10. ↑ http://blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-obstacles
11. ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/goal_visualization
12. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-rider/the-scientific-reason-why_b_6392274.html
13. ↑ http://www.valueoptions.com/spotlight_heart/html/pdfs/Articles/English/change_management/managing_change_reward_yourself_celebrating_behavioral_change.pdf
14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/second-wind/201303/struggling-reach-your-goal-take-break

How to He's a Ten but Questions

Tons of TikTok-inspired prompts to use with your friends

“He’s a 10 but” is a trend that originally went viral on TikTok and then became popular on X (Twitter). This trend is all about giving an imaginary person an attractiveness rating from 1 to 10. Then, you end the prompt with an odd habit, behavior, or scenario that can either move the rating up or down. For example, you might say “He’s a 10 but he hates cats,” which might cause your cat-loving friend to rerate him as a “2.” Keep reading for over 135 questions you can use for your own “He’s a 10 but” game.

Steps

“He’s a Ten but…” Questions

1. He’s a 10 but…{endbold} Prompts where the imaginary person is “a 10” are usually followed up with negative traits or behaviors that lower the score. Try to keep the game lighthearted and fun by avoiding questions about someone’s looks or body type. Instead, focus on hyper-specific behaviors (like clapping every time the plane lands) or general traits (like always being late).
   
   • He has no sense of humor.
   • He runs up the stairs on all fours.
   • He claps every time the plane lands.
   • He’s always late.
   • He never helps you with the chores.
   • He’s super clingy.
   • He doesn’t have a driver’s license or a car.
   • He brings up his ex in every conversation.
   • He follows a bunch of random Instagram models.
   • He’s cheated on someone before.
   • He acts like a baby when he doesn’t get what he wants.
   • He’s always talking about himself.
   • He’s disrespectful to his parents.
   • He refuses to post pictures of the two of you on social media.
2. He’s a 9 but…{endbold} Follow up these fun prompts with behaviors and traits that most people might see as negative, but that give you and your friends a little wiggle room in case someone has a controversial hot take.
   
   • He vapes all the time.
   • He tries to start the wave at sports games.
   • He only uses Snapchat to communicate with you.
   • He’s a SoundCloud rapper.
   • He wants an open relationship.
   • He’s 4’2”.
   • He’s always on his phone when you’re together.
   • He snores like a fog horn.
   • He’s terrified of butterflies.
   • He’s always “too busy” to hang out.
   • He’s a total mama’s boy.
   • He drives like a NASCAR driver.
   • He picks his nose in public.
3. He’s an 8 but…{endbold} Most people might find these habits unattractive, but there are a few prompts in this list that might make people surprise you. Who knows? Maybe your friend prefers it if the imaginary person expects them to pay for everything or thinks it's absolutely hilarious that they somehow always get stuck in the revolving door.
   
   • His place is a complete mess.
   • He chews all of his plastic straws.
   • He doesn’t wear socks.
   • He doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
   • He films himself trying viral dances on TikTok.
   • He starts every conversation with “wyd?”
   • He always gets stuck in the revolving door.
   • He thinks he’s hilarious, but he’s just mean.
   • He smokes cigarettes.
   • He always forgets your birthday.
   • He checks out other people in public.
   • He expects you to pay for everything.
   • He chews with his mouth open.
4. He’s a 7 but…{endbold} These habits, traits, and scenarios tend to be a little controversial, but some friends might choose to keep the score a “7” or even bump it up a little if it makes the imaginary person more attractive.
   
   • He has a really annoying laugh.
   • He only texts you after 10 pm.
   • He listens to “alpha male” podcasts.
   • He doesn’t know how to ride a bike.
   • He’s bad at managing his money.
   • He doesn’t use deodorant.
   • He calls his parents “mommy” and “daddy.”
   • He constantly interrupts you while you’re talking.
   • His ex is still his phone’s background picture.
   • He disappears for days on end.
   • He only communicates with GIFs.
   • He flakes out on your dates.
   • He sticks gum under the table.
5. He’s a 6 but…{endbold} Follow up prompts that rate an imaginary person as a “6” with behaviors or traits that tend to be negative, but could be positive, too. Your friend might like it when your partner is overly protective of them or they’re a huge fishing fan and feel drawn to people who include a picture of their latest catch in their dating profile.
   
   • He constantly talks badly about other people.
   • He’s overly protective of you.
   • He has a picture of a fish he caught on his dating profile.
   • He never puts the toilet seat down.
   • He doesn’t know how to swim.
   • He says “no cap” to everything.
   • He drives a really nice car.
   • He’s never seen Star Wars.
   • He never goes to the doctor or the dentist.
   • He doesn’t watch TV or movies.
   • He only replies every 2 to 3 business days.
   • He’s bad at math.
   • He confidently sings the wrong lyrics to every song.
6. He’s a 5 but…{endbold} These prompts were designed to go either way—depending on your personal preferences, these habits or scenarios could drive your score up or down. While some people might see having an Android phone as a red flag, others might see no problem at all with it. It just depends on who you are and what you find attractive!
   
   • He has no social media accounts.
   • He’s genuinely super funny.
   • He doesn’t like to cuddle.
   • He has an Android phone.
   • He reads the news every single morning.
   • He’s super organized.
   • He has a buzzcut.
   • He doesn’t like to dance.
   • He always asks to split everything 50-50.
   • He doesn’t use emojis.
   • He gives you foot massages.
   • He kisses your forehead.
   • He has tattoos all over his body.
7. He’s a 4 but…{endbold} Here’s where we get into prompts that are often considered positive, but might not matter to some people. For example, maybe you hate spiders and feel more attracted to someone who isn’t afraid to kill them over someone who just traps them in a cup and carries them outside.
   
   • He tips waitstaff well.
   • He’s a great photographer.
   • He has a great taste in music.
   • He loves talking to you.
   • He carries spiders outside instead of killing them.
   • He can cook really well.
   • He’s incredibly loyal.
   • He’s super kind towards everyone.
   • He gets your sarcasm and plays along.
   • He has a really cute dog.
   • He knows who he is and what he stands for.
   • He validates your feelings and makes changes based on them.
   • He’s mature and humble.
   • He makes sure you walk on the inside of the sidewalk.
8. He’s a 3 but…{endbold} These habits and traits tend to be more positive, but they have a little wiggle room in case someone rates the person lower instead.
   
   • He’s a great listener.
   • He’s super talented at anything creative.
   • He’s always early.
   • He’s incredibly kind to animals.
   • He values your opinions and goes to you for advice.
   • He remembers everything about you and what you like.
   • He’s your age and sitting next to you on a flight.
   • He has a high-paying job with tons of great benefits.
   • He admits when he’s wrong about something.
   • He reads your favorite books.
   • He values and regularly checks in on his friends.
   • He wears his heart on his sleeve.
   • He treats you like an equal partner.
9. He’s a 2 but…{endbold} Pick a prompt from this list that’s ultra positive and that would cause most people to rate the imaginary person higher. Some of these also have the possibility to stay the same or go even lower—maybe one of your friends thinks having a trust fund is a red flag or maybe you don’t find professional athletes attractive at all.
   
   • He has a really nice smile.
   • He’s a professional athlete.
   • He has a trust fund.
   • He loves trying new things.
   • He’s rich. Like, really rich.
   • He has all the same interests that you do.
   • He’s incredibly intelligent.
   • He pays all your bills for you.
   • He’s comfortable talking about his emotions.
   • You’re neighbors.
   • He’s super easy-going and comfortable to hang out with.
   • He’s your best friend.
   • He actively tries to compromise when you disagree.
   • He treats his parents and siblings well.
   • He encourages you to pursue a life outside of your relationship.
   • He’s super ambitious.
   • He speaks positively about you when you’re not around.
10. He’s a 1 but…{endbold} Just like you start your sentence with “he’s a 10 but” and end it with something horrendous, try starting your prompt with “he’s a 1 but” and end it with something incredibly positive and wholesome.
    
    • He pays for all of your dates.
    • He’s 6’5”.
    • He respects your boundaries.
    • Your whole family loves him.
    • He buys flowers without you asking.
    • He has a great sense of style.
    • He’s open about his insecurities.
    • He’s financially responsible.
    • He never makes you feel bad during an argument.
    • He understands your love language.
    • He supports you unconditionally.
    • He communicates regularly and follows through on promises.
    • He always brings you back food when he goes out with friends.

How to Play “He’s a Ten but…”

1. Ask your friend a “He’s a ten but…” question. This game is based on the 1 to 10 dating scale, where you rate a person based on their looks and overall attractiveness. When someone starts with the prompt “he’s a [insert number] but…” they follow it up with a trait or behavior that could make that person more or less attractive.
   
   • “He’s a 6 but he eats pizza with a knife and fork.”
   • “He’s a 10 but he screams at his parents.”
   • “He’s a 2 but he always opens the door for you.”
   • If “he” doesn’t fit your friend group, you can change the pronouns to whatever you’d like. All of these prompts can easily be turned into “she’s a 10 but” or “they’re a ten but” questions.
2. Your friend gives the person a new rating based on the question. If the number is 5 or higher, the rest of the question is a trait or behavior that people might see as negative. If the number is 4 or lower, the rest of the question tends to be a trait or behavior that’s more positive.
   
   • You: “He’s a 2 but he always celebrates your accomplishments.”
     Your friend: “I love that, he’s a 7.”
   • You: “He’s a 5 but every gift he gives you is his favorite color.”
     Your friend: “He’s definitely a 3. He doesn’t sound very thoughtful at all.”
   • You: “He’s a 10 but he’s absolutely obsessed with golf.”
     Your friend: “I don’t like golf, I’d say he’s a 4.”
3. Your friend asks you a question in return. The best part about this game is learning about how you and your friends would change someone’s attractiveness rating based on a random fact about them. Use questions from the list above or create your own to personalize them to your and your friends’ preferences.
   
   • This game works best when you have 2 or more people—that way everyone can give their rating based on the trait, behavior, or scenario you give them.^[1]
   • The “he’s a 10 but” game was created on TikTok by user @leahhwoodss in May 2022. The trend quickly spread to Twitter, where people post questions and other users comment what they’d re-score the person in the scenario.^[2]

Video

References

Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/hes-a-ten-but-trend-game-tiktok-b2106992.html
2. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shes-a-10-but-hes-a-10-but